Friday, March 17, 2017

Green Donuts!

Friends,
Has society taken St. Patrick’s day a tad too far? What with the ubiquitous Walmart t-shirts boasting clever slogans like “I pinch back” or “Make St. Patrick’s day great again”, it’s gotten to a point where forgetting to wear green can make one feel as wanted as a frequent flyer with a Samsung galaxy note 7. Then there’s the green bowler hats, shamrocks galore, parades and let’s not forget green beer. Granted, I have yet to see any green light sets for sale, so perhaps that’s a sign we can take it further. In-fact there may be a whole segment of the market ready to be tapped with leprechaun projectors for your garage door, blarney castle-shaped green candy dispensers and gag snakes to freak-out that overly sensitive colleague. It is, after all, the American way –go big or go home, I say! I can see it now: fake red beards, green feather boas, body paint kits with clover-shaped stencils and collector’s edition vinyl records with 20 different versions of Danny Boy. We can throw-in a Windstream sponsorship to boot (I think I’m not out of line for thinking our corporate colors have an affinity with the holiday). The possibilities are endless and we’ve only seen the tip of the iceberg. Bring it! Speaking of bringing it, I brought you a dozen St. Patrick’s day treats for your enjoyment. They may not be Irish, but several of the donuts have green toppings, so come grab one… or two.

Happy St. Patrick’s day!

Friday, March 10, 2017

Happy National Mario Day!

Friends,
It seems there is a day for just about everything. Women’s day just passed, drunken Irish day is a week away, heck, today is Mario day! Looking at the U.N. calendar of world days there are days for human space flight (April 12th), midwives (May 5th) and the succinctly named “International Day for the Right to the Truth concerning Gross Human Rights Violations and for the Dignity of Victims Week of Solidarity with the Peoples Struggling against Racism and Racial Discrimination – day 4” (March 24th). Despite the great variety of themes for days (and weeks and months), I believe I have identified a void. There is no Male W.A.S.P. (White Anglo-Saxon Protestant) day. Say what you will, but if typewriters get a day (June 23rd), why not the Male WASP? The idea came to me last night as I was enjoying the sunset colors and cloud formation when, suddenly, there it was. An image of a WASP that has been incessantly taking the headlines for the past few months. I won’t name names, but suffice it so say he has big hair and is known for employing words like “bigly” (or was that “big league”?).  If we give him a day, does that mean we don’t have to hear him the other 364? We should be so lucky.


Fortunately, you don’t have to wait until national donut day (June 2nd) to enjoy a delicious treat. We have a dozen Holy Donuts ready for your enjoyment, so grab a hot beverage and come enjoy a sugary treat. They are... amazing.


Happy Friday!

Friday, March 3, 2017

Caught In The Act

Friends,
Have you ever been caught red-handed? One late night you forget to lock your bedroom door and your child walks in on you. There is an ensuing awkward pause while everything sinks in. You rush to hide the evidence but it's too late, they've seen too much. You and your significant other, in bed next to each other, caught reading your Facebook feeds at your smart phones. The shame! Nobody wants their kids to remember them that way. Fortunately, there is no shame in consuming a donut and there are a dozen Holy Donuts waiting for you to make your move. Enjoy!
Happy Friday! 

Friday, February 24, 2017

Donutism

Friends,
Is  patriotism love of country or pride in country? True love is incompatible with fear and hate. Pride, on the other hand, is not. Pride is one of the seven deadly sins -the opposite of humility. Pride also comes before a fall. So, does your patriotism include the fear (and potentially hatred) of other countries? If so, there’s a better word for it: Nationalism, patriotism’s ugly sibling. Nationalism leads to isolation, stagnation and, ultimately, war. When it comes down to brass tacks, it’s really a form of populism (the manipulative circus of “us vs. them”). Since the suffix “ism” can be good or bad –depending on how it’s used—this morning I thought I’d conduct an experiment. I have mixed things up and brought-in a dozen Krispy Kreme donuts to find-out how you define Donutism. I’d like to see whether you embrace these new Donuts, or whether you discriminate against them for not being Holy Donuts.
Happy Friday! 

Friday, February 17, 2017

Valentine's Donuts

Friends,
With Valentine’s day just behind us, this morning I thought I’d attempt to write a love poem. Here goes nothing:

My eyes have gazed and seen perfection
Your curves so tight
Your aroma fills me with intoxication
My impulses, I can’t fight

When I can’t see you, I long for the day
Your absence is torture
Yet fate has decided that only Friday
The day of good fortune

Though my thoughts may wander a plenty
When writing about thee
Without you my words would ring empty
You’re fulfillment to me

You’re here and I feel the elation
So comely and sweet
Your sugar will increase my elevation
My donuts, my treat!

Alright, I’ll keep the day job.

Happy Friday!

Friday, February 10, 2017

Consistently Consistent Donuts

Friends,
Consistency is important. I’m not talking about how soggy oatmeal or crunchy bacon feel in your mouth. It’s more the relationship between the white dress and the bride at a wedding or the questions that inevitably come-up when you see that advertisement for a $5,000 2016 Cadillac Escalade. We expect consistency and when it’s not there, we wonder why. For instance, when I was commuting between the Detroit and the Dallas NetEx sales kick-offs this week I stopped for dinner at a place in the Houston airport called The Local. As you might expect from the name, they boast all-natural, local, farm-grown, sustainable products whenever possible. Consistent. However, front-and-center at every table you see a bottle of Icelandic glacial water. Can you guess where it comes from? –hint, it’s not Houston. You guessed it, Iceland! You’d think if anything can be sourced locally, that would be water. Or, take the Supreme car wash. My car was extra dirty this week. So dirty, in fact that someone had scribbled a strong suggestion on the rear bumper. You can imagine my disappointment when, after splurging on the most expensive wash on the menu the words “wash meee!!” were still legible. Fortunately this morning, expectations should align with reality. There’s a dozen Holy Donuts sitting in their usual spot, so come grab a sweet treat. They all have the consistency you’d expect.

Happy Friday!

Friday, February 3, 2017

It's the end of the world, have a donut!

Friends,
Looking back at the news this week, a couple of two-word phrases stand-out. Artificial Intelligence and Nuclear Option. Ignore, if you would, the context in which these catchy monikers were used –winner at Texas hold ‘em tournament and senate rules for supreme court confirmation, respectively. Just put them together and what do you get? You got it! The stage is set for the dystopian events that form the foundation for the movie Terminator. Skynet becomes self-aware (AI) and launches a literal preemptive Nuclear Option against humanity. Just add time travel. As it happens, yesterday was groundhog day… and in that movie, Bill Murray gets stuck in a time loop, forced to relive February 2nd - a form of time travel. Eerie! Also eerie, is the fact that, like last week, we have Holy Donuts this morning. Alright, that may be a tad of a stretch. In any event come enjoy a sweet treat (I would have brought Nachos Supreme and bacon-wrapped bacon, but with no team to root or in the Super Bowl, I completely forgot the big game was on this weekend).  

Happy Friday!