Friday Donuts

Friends, They say bugs are the protein of the future. Compared to cows and chickens, crickets require a fraction of the environmental footprint and are a more nutritious alternative. And, once you get past the ick factor, they’re not that bad (not that great, either). I had the chance to try three varieties of dried crickets this week: regular, lime, and spicy. They arrived courtesy of Gustavo Morejón, an entomologist friend and fellow madman. I snacked on a couple, mixed them with dinner, and even tried one on a homemade donut. The verdict: if you’re gonna put dried crickets in my food, grind them up and don’t tell me they’re there. I can do without seeing them, or picking the legs out from between my teeth. Happy Friday!

Friends, On this, the eve of the 20.83 dozenth anniversary of the declaration of independence, I felt compelled to overpay for a red, white, and (mostly) blue alien Voodoo Doughnut. After all, what’s more American than conspicuous consumerism? This break from the toil treadmill, is an opportunity to ponder why the founding fathers chose to go to war. While we all know it was “taxation without representation”, it was not about onerous taxes (the 1-2% effective tax rate is laughable by today’s standards). It was the arbitrary way they were imposed. I raise my carb-loaded 640 calorie monstrosity to this quarter of a millennium experiment in government, in hopes its citizens (not subjects) will continue the long tradition of holding their elected officials accountable. Because, as Robin Williams once said, “politicians are a lot like diapers, they should be changed frequently, and for the same reasons.” Happy Friday! Sneaking in a photo at DIA's illuminati terminal.

Friends, Ecuador has a reputation for being a country where nothing works but everything works out. I suppose the same can be said for the predictions regarding the national soccer team’s performance in Group E of the World Cup. The sages, oracles, and bookies had them advancing to the round of 32 by beating Curaçao, tying with Ivory Coast and losing to Germany. Instead, they tied with Curaçao, lost to Ivory Coast and beat Germany. It worked out! Go figure. It’s like expecting a cream filled donut and biting into a Boston cream. Stressful but satisfying. Happy Friday!​ Photo credit: Mario Pons

Friends, If you’re following the Would Cup, you’ve probably asked yourself: what’s with the hydration break? And, who was the millennial (or perhaps zoomer) that came up with this bright idea? I mean, in my day, the field was slanted uphill, both ways, players never drank liquids, and they liked it just fine  . I think the pitch must have gone something like this: “OK, boomer, this may sound out of pocket, but we should lowkenuenly glow up the game. Let’s bffr, we don’t want players to crash out or have a menty b, so let’s give them a brain break to hydrate.” Speaking of which, Ryan Milkowski, one of my Gen Z language instructors, was kind enough to make the trek out to The Donut Palace in Clinton, Missouri and grab some of their spectacular apple fritters (and some donuts, of course). Bussin’. Happy Friday!

Friends, When my colleague Amy Fisher told me about Landline Doughnuts in Longmont, I knew I had to make the trek. I mean, donuts and telecom nostalgia combined …what’s not to like? Functional rotary phones you can use to call your mom (or your boss) also serve as the shop’s main line. Patrons acting as unpaid customer service reps can pick up the phone and answer callers’ questions (you get what you pay for). The call I witnessed went surprisingly well. And, they use mashed potatoes in their dough, which gives the rotary dial-inspired donuts a nice texture. The only disappointment, if you can call it that, was the absence of a telecom connection (the owners were just looking for a nostalgic theme). It took a year, but I’m glad calendars finally aligned. Needless to say the conversation was delightful. Happy Friday!

Friends, Social media is littered with curated portfolios of our best moments. Only photos with perfect smiles, open eyes and our best angles will do. The rest are discarded. As you get older, finding that perfect perspective gets harder, so the ratio of posted to discarded images creeps ever lower. A couple of weeks ago, while at National Harbor, MD, Kelsie Davis (an amazing colleague and human being) managed to capture one such unicorn photo of me as we were standing in front of the landmark Captain Wheel. I think you’ll agree it's quite flattering. I leave you with that image as I head out the front door to celebrate national donut day with another amazing colleague at Landline Doughnuts in Longmont. Happy National Donut (Fri)Day!                                                                 ↑ yours truly ↑