Friday, January 20, 2017

Unpredictable Donuts

Friends,
Words, the basic building block of communication. The English language has over 170,000 words in current use, so it’s not surprising that some of them might not mean what you think they might -or should. For instance, if you look-up the word “dite” in the dictionary, you find it means “bit” (most commonly used in the British expression “I don’t care a dite”). So, when one hears El Chapo Guzm├ín is being “extradited” to the U.S. one might be forgiven for thinking they were giving him a bonus (he was being given an “extra dite”, if you will). Also prompted by the news, this morning I was thinking of the word “Inauguration”. If you break it down, the core particle of the word would be “augur” (i.e. to predict), preceded by the prefix “in” (a negative or privative force -e.g. inorganic, indefensible). So, in-augur-ation should mean “an unpredictable activity”. Which is an odd name for something that has every activity scripted down to the minute. Then again, come to think about it, this morning my new definition may well prove adequate after all. You know what I mean. Of course, something that is somewhat predictable by now is the arrival of donuts on Friday morning (granted, last week I may have disappointed the handful of folks who were not in Austin). So come grab a sweet treat from Holy Donuts –the same predictable treat at the same predictable location. 

Happy Friday!

Friday, January 6, 2017

Donuts Are Here - What A Bargain!

Friends,
This morning’s two hour version of my usual thirty minute commute got me thinking about bargains and whether there is an antonym to the word (apparently the closest is ”rip-off”). Getting less for more is not pleasant (for instance less time to write this note on account of having more time on the road). I figured there were going to be less people in the office today, however, I was pleasantly surprised to see a lot of you decided to brave the roads and close-out the week strong -quite the bargain! (chalk it up to better living through lower expectations). Unfortunately, that means you get the same number of donuts for the same number of people (is there a word for that? -value?)

Happy New Year!

Friday, December 30, 2016

Donut Resolutions

Friends,
It’s the last Friday of the week. Time to reflect on the year that’s coming to a close and learn from the past. Time to take a deep breath and appreciate the present. Time to plan for the future and make those new years’ resolutions. Here’s what I’ve come-up with:

  • I will try to let go of the pride that can sometimes hold me back. Ask for help when I don’t know an answer, rather than trying to find it on my own. Ask that awkward question you know everyone is “too smart” to articulate. Say “no” and point folks to the right resource when you know it’s the right thing to do. 
  • I will continue to work on making my smile lines deeper (this is an old standby resolution I like to make every year). 
  • I will eat lunch away from my desk. I will try to realize that breaks are necessary and actually lead to higher productivity. I will try to grab a colleague or two and grab lunch with them instead of eating alone. 
  • I will drink more of that opaque and odd-tasting stuff that comes from our juicer. Although I don’t believe in the alleged health benefits, I also don’t think the stuff can hurt more than my taste buds. So, why do it? Well, my wife believes in them, so why not? Happy wife, happy life! 
  • I will make a deliberate effort to spend more time with my children. Play board games. Sit in the same room, even sometimes there may be an awkward silence. 
  • I will bring donuts to the office every Friday (starting next week – I’m working from home today)

Those are mine. Any you care to share?
Happy Friday!

Friday, December 23, 2016

The Twelve Donuts of Christmas

Friends,
Did you know the twelve days of Christmas refers to the twelve days AFTER Christmas? You see, Epiphany (the traditional day commemorating the wise men’s arrival at the manger) is celebrated on January 6th –twelve days after Christmas! And even though Amazon and eBay may shiver to hear this, in many societies -mine included- it was traditional to give gifts on the twelfth day of Christmas (although Gold, Incense and Myrrh were generally not on the registry). This year, those proverbial twelve days feel very connected to donuts. Granted there are no donuts in the office today but you have to admit a dozen days resonate with a dozen donuts. The coolest connection, however, is the fact next Friday will be the day for five golden rings –also known as glazed donuts! And since we still have another couple of weeks of Christmas, I don’t feel so bad for not having twelve donuts here for your gift.

Merry Christmas!

Friday, December 16, 2016

Indulgent Donuts

Friends,
Colorado has been ranked the eighth healthiest state in the nation, despite having the most active people and the lowest obesity rate. The reason? Alcohol and drugs. It brings to mind the old joke where a man goes to the doctor asking if he will live to see 100. The doctor asks whether the man engages in promiscuity, gambles, smokes, drinks or consumes drugs –to which he responds “of course not”. So the doctor asks “why, then, do you want to live to be 100?” It would appear we need a little vice in our lives to keep things interesting. While I certainly don’t advocate or condone drug use, I do think a little peccadillo here and there helps to spice things up. Perhaps that’s why I insist on having donuts on Fridays. Speaking of which, Holy Donuts are here, so, come spice things up a bit by indulging in a sugary vice.

Happy Friday!

Friday, December 9, 2016

Heroic Donuts

Friends,
When I grow up I want to be like John Glenn. Speed record holder, flying across the continent faster than anyone before. Public servant, in an age of shock politics and corruption scandals, the worse his opponents could accuse him of was being boring. Badass space pioneer, the first American to orbit the earth returned to space in his late 70s. Dead at 95, he loved himself a good Daylight Donut. That last part I made-up. Still, we do have some “sugar halos” in honor of his passing, so come celebrate a true American hero with a sweet treat.

Happy Friday!

Friday, December 2, 2016

Conflict-Free Donuts

Friends,
Have you heard about engagement rings made with conflict-free diamonds? I have to say, I love the double entendres (intentional or not). Guaranteed blood diamond-free rings with the hint of a more personal (albeit utopic) promise for your marriage. A magic stone with the power to deliver a relationship devoid of marital strife. Of course, if you were to make such an explicit statement (e.g. "Conflict-free diamonds for a conflict-free marriage"), it would have the off putting ring of a political campaign promise. But if you let the groom feel like he's made that connection on his own, it's rather endearing. I never got my wife an engagement ring, but if I had, it would have to be conflict free. Think of the potential! When delivering it "...and the diamond is conflict-free, so we'd never fight", as a conversation piece with guests, "...and we never quarrel, thanks to the conflict-free diamond", or, after a nasty fight "honey, put on your engagement ring so we can end this silly conflict". Of course, there's another way to eradicate conflict. Donuts. Have you ever seen anyone argue while taking a bite out of a donut? So come get your conflict-free dunkin' donut. And rest assured, no terrorist organizations have benefited in any way from your snack.
Happy Friday!