Friday Donuts

Friends, What’s in a name? Well, if that name happens to be Juan González, chances are you’ll get escorted to a cozy Interpol back room whenever you try to enter or leave Perú. Yup! It appears I have an evil namesake on the watch list. Of course, treacherous homonyms lurk in all walks of life, not just airport watchlists. These seemingly benign words are out there wreaking havoc and creating confusion – often to comedic effect. A sign with the word “income” or a breakfast buffet with a dish labelled “mold bread” bely dictionary translations where the wrong homonym was used (“entrance” and “pan bread” respectively). Then there’s the grammar fiends. Accept for Sam lose wards, language isn’t stationery. I realize the preceding sentence may have upset some of you, so having made my point I will head out to Donutsville to go get me some fried pastries.​ Happy Friday!

Friends, As days get shorter in the northern hemisphere, the splinter of mortality creeps up on the collective subconscious. Whether you call it Oiche Samhna, All Hallows Eve, or Día de Los Muertos, today’s celebration reminds us of one of the two certainties in life. Taxes. Why are my hard-earned dollars being used to build haunted houses? (e.g., Alligator Alcatraz). Feels like a cruel trick. That said, I’m off to fetch a treat (i.e., my obligatory Friday donut). Clandestine photos taken by yours truly at the Catacumbas de San Francisco in Lima, Perú, where the bones of some 25,000 souls are laid to "rest".

Friends, Hundreds of miles from the ocean and over eleven thousand feet above sea level, Cusco feels like an odd seat for an empire. Yet, walking down the narrow streets where cars must do a three point turn at the corner, evidence abounds. Walls built with perfectly joined stones of capricious sizes and shapes boast masterful skills. The church of Santo Domingo integrated with the Qoricancha temple complex is awe inspiring. The megalithic Sacsayhuaman complex almost makes alien conspiracy theories seem plausible. Even though the empire lasted less than 100 years, it left a deep mark on the entire Andean region. As I visit the cradle of the Inca civilization, I enjoy my picarón (a local version of the donut) and process all the rich local history. Happy Friday!​

  Friends, These days, it's easy to take well-fitting clothes for granted. Whether you’re 6’4” and overindulge in donuts daily, are a petite starvation diet freak, or happen to be Bad Bunny, chances are you won’t have a wardrobe malfunction when wearing a dress. The same can’t be said for 18 th  century gowns. If oil paintings, marble sculptures and reliefs from that era are any indication, clothing was so ill-fitting it was fairly normal for women to walk around with one breast out. It appears to have been so commonplace, folks became impervious to the scene. Imagine being there. -            Excuse me, m’am, your boob is out. -            Yeah, I know, this darn dress keeps letting the girls out. -            Just thought I’d point it out, you know, before we join that hysteric mob down the block. -     ...

Friends, If you wanna fly standby, a certain laissez-faire mentality goes a long way. This F-it attitude helps you cope with whatever the seat assignment gods have in store for you. On a recent trip from Fort Lauderdale the flight was full and, if only the plane had one more seat, it would have been mine. Just as I was letting the news sink in and weighing a Chicago vs Houston connection, it started raining cats and dogs. The passengers deplaned and two hours later, some of them had decided they’d had enough, making room for me! I board to find a gentleman occupying my seat. After refreshing his app it turns out he got an upgrade to first class. To my surprise, he explains he’s all settled in and asks if I wouldn’t mind switching places. Sure, twist my arm. As I reached 1F and start imagining my pre-flight donut, the first class flight attendant with a snooty European accent was having none of this. He walks me back to economy plus and, after a spirited lecture on 19th century class et...

  Friends, One of the great satisfactions in life comes from finally completing a task you’ve been avoiding. The longer the chore sits on your list, the better the feeling. Sure, you always question why you didn’t do it sooner. Still, a weight you didn’t know you were carrying lifts and the micro endorphin boost that comes from checking that mental box is priceless. This week, I took the long overdue step of changing my political affiliation to unaffiliated. While I held hope that my party would stop drifting away from their roots, for the past decade part of me has known the cause was long forgotten by those in leadership. The online process was quick and painless. If only getting donuts every Friday were that easy. Happy Friday!​ Here's to Waterloo!