Friday Donuts

Dear Members and Constituents, Superstition is defined as an irrational belief arising from ignorance or fear. No one wants to be called irrational, ignorant or fearful... so why are people superstitious? How do superstitions get started? I suppose it goes something like this: (1) Man walks under ladder. (2) Paint bucket spills on his new suit. (3) Man starts proclaiming to the world it is bad luck to walk under ladder. Superstitions generally revolve around luck. Good luck (finding pennies, horseshoes, four leaf clovers, the number seven) and bad (stepping on cracks, black cats, breaking mirrors). There are old superstitions handed down from time immemorial and there are new ones sports fans and gamblers alike create anew every year. Somehow, Friday the 13th has gotten an especially bad rap in the world of superstition. I think it's time to change that. After all, Friday is a day when the weekend is calling at your door and donuts are waiting for you at my desk. And 13, well, that...

Dear Members and Constituents, On this "lucky" Friday the 13th, I thought I'd lighten the otherwise somber outlook with an old favorite joke I enjoy re-telling from time to time. You may have seen this classic comic strip. It has two panels in a side-by-side layout. On the left panel you have an angelic figure, surrounded by clouds being addressed by a bearded man in a robe. The quote reads "welcome to heaven, here is your lyre". On the right panel you have what appears to be a demon addressing a condemned soul with the words "welcome to hell, here is your accordion". Now for all you accordion lovers out there, I have nothing personal against the accordion. I think it is a fine musical instrument when used in moderation --kind of like spices with food, it's OK if you use a little... but use too much and... you get polka. If you were to use food (instead of musical instruments) with the aforementioned comic strip, I will let you pick your own person...

Dear members and constituents, If you were superstitious, you probably spent last Saturday (07/07/07) in Las Vegas betting your heart out. You would also be very weary of today. No weddings or travel for you today, no siree! Not being all that superstitious, I found myself wandering the dark deserted hallways of 32C when I suddenly became aware of a presence. Another set of faint footsteps in the distance had broken the rhythmic pattern of my own. I came to a sudden stop, paralyzed by the possibilities. Filled with a mysterious purpose, these footsteps grew closer and closer. I could distinctly hear that macabre sound each shoe made on the carpeted floor. All I could do was watch as a shadow crept towards me. Soon I could see a figure, veiled in darkness and carrying a mysterious package. Could it be? My jaw dropped as my suspicions were confirmed. It was the TimeWise lady carrying Roger Greene's first errand of the day: three dozen donuts (not quite the thirty six dozen he'd o...