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Showing posts from 2007

We whish you a Merry Christmas (3 times)... and the donuts are here!

Dear members and constituents,
I'm going to go out on a limb and wish each of you a Merry Christmas! I know the favored term these overly-politically correct days is "Happy Holidays". I think Happy Holidays is appropriate if you are a corporation representing a broad number of individuals who each may celebrate different Holidays (Christmas, Hanukah, Ramadan, Kwanza, the Saturnalia... Hanukwanzachristmakah). As an individual, however, I only celebrate one of these and it happens to be Christmas. I intend no disrespect for those of you who may celebrate another one of these holidays (nor am I trying to proselytize by using the term). In fact, I believe it would be perfectly acceptable (and not at all offensive to me personally) if you responded with a "Happy Hanukah" (or other holiday of choice).

Regardless of what holiday you celebrate (and if you don't celebrate any, a bah-humbug to you too), I think donuts are the universal expression of holiday cheer. And …

The donut is half uneaten

Dear members and constituents.
Wipe that smile off your face! Why are you looking so smug in your Broncos jersey, sipping coffee from that Avs mug? Don't you realize you're living in a depreciating asset, earning a currency worth less than the Canadian loon? And it's freezing out there!...

Life's not perfect -- I am admittedly an optimist, not a deluded lunatic. You must acknowledge, however, we have so many good things going for us. There's that feeling the fresh Colorado air brings when you take a deep breath. The sound of a friendly voice. The contrast that exists between the warmth of your office and the brutal chill outside. The smell of warm coffee in the morning. There is also that tinge of anticipation at the thought of a fresh, sweet donut melting in your mouth… and then the realization that comes when biting into one! OK, it would be nice to get at least an honorable mention on some list that Fortune magazine produces, but even if we never do, we have great…

American Donut

Dear Members and Constituents,
The polls are closed and sixteen votes have been tabulated (sweet!) in the search for the most popular donut. For those of you who did not get to see the results, it turns out Glazed donuts ran away with 43% of the vote. While I had sort-of expected glazed to win, it seems like up until late in the contest they were barely holding ahead of Bavarian Crème. The late surge in voting causes me some pause (you know what they say, vote early and vote often), so I take the results with a grain of… sugar.

Of course, you probably have plenty of reasons to find fault with the methodology (sample size, ability to only choose one donut, etc.). Be that as it may, the lesson learned for me is bring a variety of donuts when you have donut duty, don't assume your favorite donut will be a hit with everybody. I have posted a new poll on the Friday Donut Club blog: What's your favorite donut place?


Speaking of favorite donut places, Ms. Nanette Zeile picked what has b…

It's Habitual

Dear members and constituents,
It's been two weeks since the last Donut Friday. Sure, some have had donuts during the intervening timeframe (I count myself among this group), however it's not the same. As I was pondering what to call this feeling it occurred to me "withdrawal" may not be the best term. Not only is it a term that is used by the banking industry, which could be cause for confusion, but more importantly, it is generally associated with addiction. People in rehabilitation go through withdrawal, however, I don't think any of us want to be rehabilitated from our donut "habit". I propose, instead the use of the term "longing". It has a more positive connotation. You long for something familiar and good like a loved one… or a fresh delicious donut.

In preparing for his debut in the Friday Donut Club today, Mr. Paul Savill conducted some research. He found a headline that read "Lamar's Donuts Beats Krispy Kreme in Denver Donut D…

Who was Harry Nyquist?

Dear Members and constituents,
Ever wonder why a T-1 has 1,536 Kilobits per second of capacity? Why not a round number? Even if you were to use Kilobytes per second you'd come up with 192 KB per second. In case you were wondering, it all comes down to the dawn of digital voice communications. In order to reconstruct a sound, the samples taken can be no less than half of the frequency of the sound we are trying to represent. In normal conversation the human voice seldom exceeds 16 KHz and therefore sampling it 8,000 times per second would be sufficient for both sides to understand each other. They also decided 256 levels (8 bits) per sample provided sufficient information. Of course 8,000 samples per second at 8 bits per sample provide us with 64,000 bits per second, the bandwidth of a phone call. That is, of course, why your voice on a phone conversation sounds a little "tinny" and does not have quite the quality of, say, a CD. You take 24 of these together and, voilà, yo…

The state of the Donut union

Dear members and constituents,
I did not vote on Tuesday. There, I've come clean. You see… I don't live in Denver where some interest was created by the ad campaign for the alphabet soup issues and, quite frankly, I do not know either of the candidates for mayor of Arvada. Be that as it may, this off-year election combined with the fact that next week marks the beginning of a new rotation at the Friday Donut Club has made me ponder on the state of the Donut union.

I am here today to tell you that the state of our union is strong. We started the year as a two dozen donut club. We moved in January to three dozen donuts. This rotation we start with four dozen! Despite some pretty substantial churn this year (5 members left the company and 5 members left the club), our numbers have grown. With 27 members entering 2007, we now boast 33 members (over 20% net growth!). The Friday Donut Club has remained open to all who aspire to our three simple principles: (1)Four dozen (2)boutique do…

An opportune moment for donuts

Dear members and constituents,
How about them re-orgs? I, for one, think all this attention being given to fixing our service delivery woes is spot-on. The division of GNS and MNS was tactical in nature and one that eventually needed to disappear. The division of customer-facing operations by customer-facing group looked good on paper, but it is apparent that was an idea before it's time (and it may yet make sense in the future once integration is complete). It is, however, the creation of project Kairos that has been the biggest source of curiosity for me. Named after a Greek god I had never heard of before (apparently Zeus' youngest divine son). Also the brief moment during which things are possible. I figured there was a brief window of opportunity to come-up with an unofficial, unapproved and unsanctioned logo for this project. And here it is.
Also here, are the donuts. TimeWise has arrived with donuts from LaMar's (Courtnee Ulrich is in Hawaii). Now is the opportune mom…

The circle(s) of life

Dear members and constituents,
Today, I would like to talk about Carbon. Sure, with only six electrons you might not think much of it, however I find this particular element fascinating. It is, after all, the primary building block of life (sure it gets a little help from Hydrogen, Oxygen and Nitrogen). Carbon is also making a bad reputation for itself as a member of the greenhouse gas gang (again with some help from his buddy Oxygen) -- not to mention the workhorse fuel that has gotten civilization where it is today. It is this double life Carbon has been leading lately that captivates me. You could think of Carbon as the Dr. Jekyll (and Mr. Hyde) of the periodic table of elements. Carbon makes life possible, yet is a big part of the reason for global warming (which can make life impossible). One might say you can't live with it and you can't live without it. I must admit I find some of the terminology used somewhat amusing ("carbon diets" to reduce your "carbon…

Friadys in Fall are Fabulous

Dear members and constituents,
It dawned on me this morning. I love this time of year! Watching the bright horizon seamlessly transitioning from orange to blue to gray (while simultaneously trying to keep my car on the road) was awe-inspiring. Stepping out of my car and feeling the cool breeze against my skin, gently coaxing me to take a deep breath, made me feel truly alive. Walking from the parking lot, I closed my eyes to hear the leaves rustling in the crisp fall air and paused to let it all sink in… Of course, I should have opened them before reaching the stairway, however that's a story for another time.

Obviously, this potpourri of sights, sounds and sensations is complemented by the smell and taste of sweet donuts. Jeff Martin makes his debut in the Friday Donut Club today with three dozen glaze Krispy Kremes. So bundle-up, grab some hot cocoa and come on down to enjoy one (or two) of these thirty six amazingly light identical pastries.

Happy Friday!

The key to a good Friday

Dear members and constituents,
Half-way through my drive into work --the point of no return-- I realized my badge was conspicuously absent from my hip. As I pondered doubling my 18 minute commute to 36 (and decided against it), It occurred to me badges are just another mechanism to keep the unwanted out and allow access to the wanted. Keys, SecureID Tokens and passwords also fall into this category, providing mechanical, magnetic, digital or data access filtering. I suppose donuts also fall into this category by allowing happy memories in and keeping unwanted feelings out. Think about it, when is the last time you felt sad while biting into one of these delicious circular keys to a good Friday.

And thanks to Monisha, one of our newest members you don't have to wait until 8:00 to enjoy this feeling I was pleasantly surprised to see three boxes of Winchell's donuts waiting for me in my office this morning. So open up wide and access your inner child with one of these sweet treats.

A drive for donuts

Dear members and constituents,
Cruising in my convertible this morning, the thought of fresh donuts was at what some might argue were unhealthy levels. I could almost smell the sweet aroma when suddenly I noticed the red and blue lights flashing behind me. Apparently (according to Trooper Warren, badge #9226) I was doing 60 mph in a 45 mph zone. If only he knew the reason for my exuberant driving, perhaps he would be more understanding. Aren't donuts, after all, a staple of the law enforcement diet? Upon reflection, I thought better of it and decided any mention of donuts might backfire. So I bit my lip and smiled, looking as contrite as one can at six in the morning. What followed was a brief exchange of pleasantries, and what seemed like ten minutes of separation anxiety from my license and registration. Would I loose more points on my license? Fortunately, Trp. Warren let me off with a warning. Close call.

Speaking of close calls, TimeWise cut it close to the wire this morning an…

One small step for man...

Dear members and constituents,
Over the past couple of days, there have been several occasions when my mind has been mesmerized by the intriguing beauty of the full moon. I sometimes wonder if the moon has a sway over human behavior as it does over the tides. I've heard it said that there are 20% more 9-1-1 calls on nights when there is a full moon (I've also heard it said that 57% of statistics are made-up on the spot to prove a point -- including this one). Be that as it may, I think there may be some validity to these claims. After all, if the moon's gravitational field can have a noticeable pull on the largest bodies of water (the oceans) , couldn't it's pull also effect subtle changes in the human body (which is mostly water)? What, you may be asking yourself, does this have to do with donuts? Well, let me tell you. Beyond the superficial resemblance donuts have to the full moon, every Friday morning they sway a tide of donut club members to my desk. Certainly …

Great expectations

Dear members and constituents,
Last week's donut e-mail and the ensuing whirlwind of positive feedback I received (on and offline) led me to ponder the nature of human expectations. Are we humans doomed to disappointment because we always expect something a little better than before? Hallway comments like "how are you going to top last week's e-mail?" make me wonder whether there is an implied expectation of an ever rising spiral of wit and humor. Are future donut e-mails going to be subject to a higher level of scrutiny? The fact that these thoughts have crossed my mind at all leads me to believe there may be something to it, which of course makes me chuckle. These are, after all, donuts we're talking about. Let's not take ourselves too seriously here.

Fortunately, with donuts we always know what to expect. Sweet circular pastries that make Friday a day we all look forward to. Jay Leslie delights us today with three dozen such treats. So, come by and have your…

Donutocracy

Dear members and constituents,
Did you catch the president's televised speech to the nation last night? Two of the three TV channels at my local gym carried it. As I ran on the treadmill I was able to watch most of it. Obviously, my lack of lip-reading skills meant I had to imagine what Mr. Bush must be saying. I could swear he used the word "donut" more than twice. Why not? It occurs to me he, like I, must surely see the parallels between democracy and donuts. While both begin with the letter D and people often have polarized views about them, I believe there are deeper similarities. Democracy is founded on the notion that all people have an equal right to a vote; Donuts do not care who eats them, all people are equal. Both have proponents and opponents and, despite their shortcomings, both seem a lot better than many alternatives out there. At the risk of taking the analogy too far, I would say neither is the solution to all of the world's problems nor can either be…

Do you believe in magic?

Dear members and constituents,
I've been thinking about the similarities that exist between the power of magic and the power of donuts. Clearly, they both can influence human behavior and mood. The way they both work is mysterious and it is hard to tell how much of the effects attributed to them are directly caused by either. Bite into a sweet donut and you feel a subtle change. Things somehow seem more brilliant, more resplendent, more…. well magical. Perhaps donuts ARE a form of magic. In any event, they're here*. Three and a half dozen donuts, courtesy of Mr. Michael Remacle via TimeWise. So come enjoy that levitation of the senses and be transfigured by a mystical circular pastry.

Happy Friday!

The donut ripple effect

Dear members and constituents,
Can you believe it's almost Labor Day already? I can almost picture myself hiking up a trail to a hidden pristine lake in the mountains. As my backpack makes a thump on the ground my eye strays to some flat pebbles on the beach, which I immediately reach for and begin skipping. Just when I think things could not be any better I notice the ripples on the otherwise undisturbed surface of the lake. While these sets of perfectly concentric circles expand to cover an ever broader area, I am reminded of another set of perfectly concentric circles. Suddenly I am dragged back to reality and I notice Roger Green (pinch hitting for Carlos Belloso) has left a couple of boxes of LaMar's donuts on my desk. The sweet aroma of the hand-picked selection has pulled my imagination back into the confines of my office. To Level 3. To today. Which, if you think about it is not a bad place to be.

Carpe diem!

Friday = Donuts

Dear members and constituents,
Friday has once again sneaked-up on us and I am delighted it is here on so many levels. Temperatures are cooling down and expectations of donut consumption should be heating up. As I was playing miniature golf last night with my kids, I could not help but think during the two rounds we played of the 36 perfectly round holes, exactly half the number I of holes I would be seeing in the three dozen donuts at my desk. Mark Hermann has delivered on this expectation, so the table is set with delicious sweetness.

Come and get it!

They're here!

Dear members and constituents,
Mr. Bill Long had an "o, $#!^" moment when he drove into the parking lot this morning and he realized he had not made the obligatory stop at LaMar's. I do feel slightly bad for him but please don't let that stop you from giving him grief over the timeliness of the delivery (or the fact that despite there being three dozen donuts, there are only three varieties represented).
They are nonetheless here now, so come and grab one (or two, or three).

Happy Friday!

Dex Is an Idiot

[Sent by Ray Wendell - JP is on vacation]



Not being from around here, and since I’m up as “Donut Boy”, I thought I’d do the smart thing and put in an order yesterday with a local donut shop, and then pick them up on my way in. Old habits are hard to break, and being a Qwest alum, I thought I’d “Ask Dex” where the nearest local donut shop might be;

And here’s what Dex told me:
So, 20 minutes and two phone calls later(God bless Stephanie at Lamars, who must think I’m an idiot), I found the true location. And I actually found my way to work from there, so all’s well, and the donuts are here.

Ray

Surprise!

Dear members and constituents,
As I look back on this past week, the consistent theme seems to have been the unexpected. On Monday, I was surprised to hear SunRocket's employees had been told to go home and their customers had to go figure out what to do about their phone service. Tuesday I was equally surprised to receive a recognition award at Glenn's all hands meeting. OK, so I can't think of any surprises on Wednesday and Thursday's close of the Dow Jones Industrial Average inching above 14,000 was somewhat expected…

It should therefore come as no surprise that today, due to some personnel changes at Level 3 (and consequent trickle-down effect on our membership), Amanda Tierney has gracefully agreed to accelerate her debut in the Friday Donut Club. Please join me in welcoming Amanda to the fold (and by all means, surprise yourself by testing the outer limits of your donut consumption capabilities).

Happy Friday!

Friday the 13th

Dear members and constituents,
If you were superstitious, you probably spent last Saturday (07/07/07) in Las Vegas betting your heart out. You would also be very weary of today. No weddings or travel for you today, no siree!

Not being all that superstitious, I found myself wandering the dark deserted hallways of 32C when I suddenly became aware of a presence. Another set of faint footsteps in the distance had broken the rhythmic pattern of my own. I came to a sudden stop, paralyzed by the possibilities. Filled with a mysterious purpose, these footsteps grew closer and closer. I could distinctly hear that macabre sound each shoe made on the carpeted floor. All I could do was watch as a shadow crept towards me. Soon I could see a figure, veiled in darkness and carrying a mysterious package. Could it be? My jaw dropped as my suspicions were confirmed. It was the TimeWise lady carrying Roger Greene's first errand of the day: three dozen donuts (not quite the thirty six dozen he'd or…

A donut bomb

Dear members and constituents,
Wednesday night. It's just past sunset and I'm sitting on the deck. Import beer in hand -- although seemingly unpatriotic, I would argue it is quite the opposite… embracing the patriotic ideals of diversity in beer (not to mention the pursuit of happiness). I am dazzled by the multi-color explosions in the air when all of a sudden, like a firecracker falling out of the sky, it hits me. The fourth of July celebration is a manifestation of the collective subconscious desire for donuts. The fireworks create circular patterns in the sky, reminiscent of gigantic donuts. The explosion of sweet flavor that donuts bring to the palate is metaphorically portrayed in the sky's giant canvas. Granted, coffee goes better with donuts than beer, but if you are getting ready to consume a donut, it's Friday morning and you're at work, so beer is not an advisable beverage alternative at this time…

So come on down and do the patriotic thing. Have a donut, …

No waiting for donuts

Dear members and constituents,
Did you grasp the concept of the IT customer appreciation day yesterday? I don't think I did. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for gratuitous free food. However, after I had my hamburger, my brat, some pasta salad, fruit salad, chips and three ice cream bars (not to mention my water :-), I could not help but feel it was a tad over-the-top. OK, the IT department has been busy consolidating systems and they want to have a party to let the rest of the world know. But trade-show-like vendor booths, dropping old servers from a crane and a DJ playing "good-bye" themed songs*? I will admit it was a much needed change in pace and no one was hurt that I know of, so it's all good. I will say, having stood in line twice, the lines were reminiscent of soviet-era Moscow.

As you may have guessed, this discussion is a mere preamble to the donut pitch. No hype, music or tsotski (and no long lines). Just donuts, The selection is extraordinary and comes…

Happy Friday

Dear members and constituents,
What do you call a person who is crazy about money? If you answered "greedy" or someone who is consumed by the sin of avarice, then you are not in a Friday state of mind yet. If you answered a "dough-nut", then you are ready for the Friday morning experience. Tucker Maroney is off but before this week leaving this week he delegated TimeWise to get quite a few LaMar's donuts (I have not counted but it looks like more than thirty six.

So come and enjoy a happy Friday!

The Friday Donut

Dear Members and Constituents,
Conceive, if you will, of a weekly newsletter. This newsletter would be very different in many ways than your average run-of-the-mill newsletter. Sure it would be aimed at a targeted audience and would have a staunch, loyal following. However the circulation would be much smaller, only thirty six issues would be available on most weeks, although sometimes circulation might go as high as 48. Ordinary paper would be inadequate for such an exclusive publication. It would resort to other organic materials and would appeal to more senses than just sight. Sure you could still find visual pleasure in its symmetric aesthetics, however smell and taste would also be catered to. Opting for a circular shape instead of the trite rectangle, our newsletter would not require the use of print to convey its sweet content to its audience and deliver a message of hope and optimism for the weekend ahead.

Come to think of it, the Friday Donut Club already has such a newsletter.…

Donuts, anniversary, errata

Dear members and constituents,
First of all, I want to apologize for a couple of (related) blatant errors from last week's donut e-mail. A 1 followed by 36 zeros is not a quintillion, it is an Undecillion (or a sextillion if you are an English speaking country outside of the US and not a member of the scientific community). Unfortunately, the associated prefix for 10^36 has not been named yet (had we been talking about two dozen we could have used "yotta-byte"), nor has a name been proposed for such a high prefix (the highest proposed names are for 10^27-Harpi and 10^30-Grouchi, although it seems unlikely these names inspired by the Marx Brothers would receive approval).

Second, Monday will mark the third anniversary of the Friday Donut Club, so I thought for your enjoyment I would dig-up the e-mail that started it all.
Finally, a big thank you to Mack Greene for keeping the tradition alive (and adding to it) by brining four dozen delicious donuts (don't get me started …

A exa-bite of donuts

Dear members and constituents.
Picture, if you will, three dozen donuts lined-up side-by-side. If you're like me, your first reaction is likely Pavlovian in nature. But if you resist the urge to make it 35 or 34 donuts on this imaginary table (plus one or two donuts in your stomach) picture now a maple bar to the left of these thirty six perfectly delicious circular shapes. What do we have now? It may be my immersion of late in the world of billing reconciliation speaking, but I have to say it looks a lot like a number one quintillion. Obviously if you have a quintillion bytes, you have an exa-byte. There are no maple bars today, however there are 36 donuts courtesy of Carolyn Reuss. So come on down and BYTE into one of these delicious, sweet pastries we call donuts!

Happy Friday!

The "round bundles of gold" are here

Dear members and constituents,
Last Friday afternoon I received an inquiry from this week's donut girl, Christie Rygiewicz, inquiring as to whether three dozen donuts would be appropriate on a Friday before Memorial weekend. "Will my little round bundles of gold go to waste due to many constituents having the day off?" she asked. Now, as you can imagine, this put me in a real dilemma. The instinctive answer of "bring three dozen anyway" would likely mean a lot of wasted donuts, but it could also mean more donuts for me. On the other hand, if I said two dozen donuts was the right number and, for some reason, the lessons history has taught me about donut days and holidays about a seasonal lowering of demand did not materialize this time we might have a run on the donuts. In the end I did the right thing and told Christie two dozen would be appropriate.

It appears, however, that Christie decided not to heed my advice and has gone with three dozen (you go girl!). Tha…

Doughnut Organization Nourishes Unusual Treatment (DONUT)

Dear members and constituents,
I've come to the conclusion that the proliferation of acronyms in the telecom industry, while amusing can also be confusing. In-fact, I think the only industry (if it can be called that) which uses acronyms more gratuitously is the military. Yes, the proud creators of SNAFU, FUBAR and ABC (which has 8 different meanings in the military alone, depending on context). In telecom, we like acronyms so much that we even have acronyms to describe acronyms: TLA (Three Letter Acronym) or extended TLA (any acronym with more than three letters). Heck, I've even been guilty of coining an extended TLA myself, you may have heard of it, ADoPT.

But there is an acronym I want to talk about today which is not part of telecom or military jargon. You might call it a TLA if you substitute the word two for the word three. It's CF and it stands for Cystic Fibrosis. Aimee Lee has been baking pastries of the non-donut variety all week long and putting them towards the …

The donuts are here, I wish I were beautiful

Dear members and constituents,
What a day for a Jimmy Buffet song. I think pleasant weather is the key. Somehow sitting on my porch swing and strumming my six string sounds a lot better when it's 82 degrees, sunny and the humidity is low. Granted, cheeseburgers are just as appealing in any weather… however, were it blistering hot or freezing, you would not call it "paradise". Another food item which is good no matter the season, but seems that much better when the weather is beautiful, are donuts. That may be why the Friday Donut Club has been so successful for two years and eleven months to the date. That's a little over 4,000 donuts by my count! As we look for things to do to celebrate the third anniversary of the Friday Donut Club, I think we should institute next Friday as Hawaiian Shirt Friday. I will wear mine and hope to see lots of color around campus from similarly flamboyant shirts.

Obviously, the whole point of this e-mail is to let you know donuts have arri…

Fun Friday Facts

Dear members and constituents.
Yesterday I received two e-mails in short proximity of each other suggesting ideas for my "donut letter". These two e-mails had very little else in common, other than the fact that they both had fascinating facts. This seemed a rather odd coincidence. I don't usually get e-mails suggesting topics for the donut announcement, let alone two in a ten minute span. I therefore have interpreted this as a sign that I should communicate this information to the larger group (in conjunction with letting you know that donuts have arrived).

Fun Fact #1: (Courtesy of Carolyn Reuss)
This Sunday in the wee hours of the morning (for countries that present their dates in date/month/year order), time and date will be nice and neatly lined up. So, what’s special about early Sunday morning? Well, at 2:03 AM, and a few seconds in the morning (ugh, hopefully none of us will be up to see that), the time will be 02:03.04 05/06/07.

Fun Fact #2: (Courtesy of Jay Leslie)
T…

Dough! Nuts!!

Dear members and constituents,
Have you ever considered the fact that donuts resemble halos? I think this is no mere coincidence. It is my position and belief that donuts personify the attributes that would make someone deserving of a halo. They are sweet, they provide a humble snack and are not snobbish or pompous. One could also say that because they have a hole in the middle they are, in-fact, "holy". Donuts sacrifice their doughy selves to make you happy. I would not be surprised if the archetypal halos portrayed as golden bands hovering over people's heads are actually some renaissance painter's stylized abstraction of a donut.

I don't know about you, but donuts also put me in a good mood, making me a slightly better person… Nanette delights us today with donuts of all kinds. Many of the halo-shaped persuasion and quite a few without any holes. So come test my theory out (or bring a hypothesis all your own). In either event, these donuts are here for you!

Happy…

Naughty Donuts

Dear members and constituents,
Presiding over the donut vice in 32C affords me the opportunity to interact with great folks. In one such random hallway conversation last week, Mark Herrmann and I spent a couple of minutes contemplating human adaptation and its capricious nature. What if, the premise went, humans adapted to consuming donuts as their main food group? At first blush the possibility seems appealing and quasi-plausible. Donuts do, after all, do have at least a trace of each of the four basic food groups, and they taste great. This adaptation would in-fact be an evolutionary advance, would it not?

In the week or so since, a thought has haunted me. A mother at the dinner table, telling her toddler "make sure you eat all your donuts". You see, if donuts were to become a basic staple of our diets, they would loose some of their charm. The naughty feeling you're treating yourself to a great-tasting treat would be replaced with thoughts of mother telling you to finis…

Frosting anyone?

Dear members and constituents
While my expectations of awakening to a cold world covered in a blanket of white "frosting" were not met, I have to admit "disappointment" is not the word I would use to describe the feeling. "Elation" would be a more appropriate term. Much like the feeling you get when you discover the glazed donuts are fresh out of the oven: warm, soft and ready to melt in your mouth.

I was unfortunately delayed to the office, however, Mr. John Schoder made arrangements with Time Wise so delicious donuts await at my desk (and have likely been here since 8).

Happy Friday!

A Good Friday indeed

Dear members and constituents,
It seems the little things have the biggest impact on our lives. Those little drops of freezing rain falling outside add up to an ominous landscape. Those little cynical words we sometimes can let slip out in frustration often have a big impact on the recipient's self-esteem. Those little hallway conversations add up to great insight and friendship. Those little donuts on Friday can have a large positive impact on company morale and productivity.

It seems another little thing (or little ONE, in this case) has had a large impact on the timing of our collective donut consumption. Mr. Ed Stocker had daycare drop-off duty at dawn and apologizes for the donut delivery delay. I think you will find, however, that the wait was worthwhile. Come on down and share in the joy of a hot beverage and a sweet donut. I think you will find this is turning out to be a very Good Friday after all.

Cheers!

Donuts, donuts, donuts!

Dear members and constituents,
Another crazy Colorado spring day is upon us. Snow yesterday, in the sixties this weekend and somewhere in the middle today. As someone said to me yesterday "it's all part of the Colorado charm". As for me, I prefer the charm of a sweet donut melting in my mouth on a Friday morning. The charm half a dozen specialties, eight glazed and a random assortment of other pastries with a hole in the middle hold over me. Call me crazy.

Speaking of spring and new beginnings, the new rotation for the Friday Donut Club is ready and I will be sending out calendar reminders for all you donut boys and girls shortly. Meanwhile, come on down to 32C-415 for some LaMar's.

Happy Friday!

Donuts are here

Dear members and constituents
I was about to write something corny about VON and looking forward all week to returning to Broomfield so I could get some donuts when I saw the selection Mr. Mack Green has set before us. I obviously decided against such ill-advised chatter and decided to focus instead on the amazing plethora of various donuts. The three dozen specimens we see before us are an amazing demonstration of exuberant restraint. A selection that would make a liberal and a conservative agree. Lions and sheep may yet lay together in peace.

I will be sending out calendar reminders for the next rotation later today. Cheers!

Happy Friday!

It's Friday, there are donuts... What could be sweeter!

Dear members and constituents,
Happy Friday. Today marks Tim Kiefer's debut with three dozen Winchell's donuts. Come and get them!

Now down to business… the current rotation began in August. We had initially expected to start a new rotation in January, however due to our successful recruiting efforts, the Friday Donut Club has gone from a two dozen donuts a week kind of club to a three dozen donuts a week kind of club. We all knew that unlike a pyramid scheme, we would have to re-invest at some point in time, and so it is that next week marks the end of this rotation.

With that in mind, I would ask that you let me know if there are any Fridays between March 30th and October 19th when you do not expect to be in the office. I will try to keep to loosely the same order, however I don't want to assign you to a Friday when you already know you will not be in. Please send me an e-mail (don't reply to all) letting me know of any Fridays you cannot bring donuts in.

Cheers!

Happy Friday!

Dear members and constituents,
What a glorious day to be alive! The sun is shining, hardly a cloud in the sky, the air is crisp… and you are indoors working. OK, ointment tends to attract flies, such is the nature of life. I know, every silver lining has a cloud, but there is plenty to be thankful for! Take donuts. Today mark's Glenn Russo's debut as "donut boy" and he obviously wanted to impress this fine crowd we call the Friday Donut Club. And if that is not enough to pick you up, I think I know just the thing: an acrostic:

Feeling sad and kind of blue?
Russo brought the thing for you
Ithink you know what's coming next
Donuts, count them, thirty six
All of you, come get your fix
Yes, it's Friday and that's the best!

Come and enjoy the 12 specialty and 24 assorted donuts we have at my desk (32C-415) fresh from LaMar's

Happy Friday!

I..Am..Do-Nut-Boy...na na na na na na na na na na

[Posted by Ray Wendell -- JP is out of the office]


This has been a very stressful assignment for me.
First of all, since this is my first time as "Donut Boy", I felt the pressure to just remember to bring donuts. Then, JP asks me yesterday to send out the donut notice, and to send something "poetic".
So, to help me remember my assignment, I came up with the best memory jogger I could think of – replacing the opening riff of Black Sabbath’s "Iron Man" (one of my least favorite songs, actually) with "I..Am..Do-Nut-Boy...na na na na na na na na na na".



Of course, now I’ll have that God-awful song stuck in my head until at least noon.
The good news, though, is that unless you’ve given them up for Lent, the donuts are available in JP’s office (32C-415). And while this Lenten fact may not be poetic, you might find it interesting. The 40 days of Lent (between Ash Wednesday and Easter) do not include the Sundays. Count for yourself. I may be the last person…

Friday!

Dear members and constituents,
The forecast calls for snow tonight and blizzards tomorrow with accumulations of 8 inches. Which is great because that means tomorrow will be a Snow Day. You don't have to show up to work tomorrow, and if the snow is not a good enough excuse, you can tell them JP said it was OK if you do not come in. I can almost guarantee that should work.

While you rejoice in the prospects of not having to come to work tomorrow, here's something else for you to chew on: Donuts! Indeed, Jay Leslie has not disappointed in this his first day as Donut Boy, sure he was a little late ( 36 minutes ), but who can blame him... after all, he had to balance three or four dozen donuts (not waffles) on his way in to the office.

Happy Friday!

Happy Friday (Donuts are here)

Dear members and constituents,
Hold on to your hats! Granted, most folks around here don't wear hats and, if they did, the high winds we are experiencing would have likely blown them away by now… However, if you WERE wearing a hat, it might be a good idea to hold on to it, lest it get blown away by the donut selection afforded us today courtesy of three dozen of LaMar's finest.

So grab a cup of coffee and come prepared to immerse yourself in the satisfying sensation of a donut melting in your mouth. That first bite that awakens your senses and that sip of hot coffee that follows. Ah! You know you want it, so come and get it.

Happy Friday!

Happy Friday!

Dear Members and Constituents,
Like dust gently hanging in the air, oblivious to the vigorous motion of the persistent butler, fog sweeps over Broomfield’s landscape for a second straight morning. This peaceful setting belies the kinetic motion within the Level 3 headquarters building, motion which on Fridays receives a sugar and caffeine boost from the donuts and caffeinated drink of choice ingested by YOU!

On this, the eve of Ed Stocker’s birthday, Micahel Remacle has graced us with 41 LaMar’s donuts. This means everybody has to pitch-in and ingest a little extra.

Come on down and enjoy with me this Happy Friday!

Donut... Maker?

Dear Members and Constituents,
If you were given a multiple choice quiz which asks you to select the correct definition for "Donut Maker", would your answer be:

(a) A piece of hardware used to make donuts
(b) God, the maker of all things (including donuts)
(c) A place on Arapahoe Rd. at Dayton where you can buy donuts
(d) Clerk or attendant who works at a donut shop
(e) None of the above

If your answer was (c), you would be correct. Claiming to only use 100% vegetable shortening, this Greenwood Village-based shoppe appears to be trying to position their donuts as healthy. I personally don't believe that would be the most valued attribute when making the decision to purchase a donut. That said, I've always felt that since donuts have less calories than bagels (fact), they are de-facto healthy (at least healthier than bagels - no slight intended to the alternative pastry consumption going on today). For those of you who are in the Friday Donut Club for it's health benefit…

"Bagel Breakfast" Friday

Dear members and constituents,
Some of you have sent me notes of concern and alarm around Waffle Wednesdays once a month and now Bagel Breakfast this coming Friday. The notes I have received show a little apprehension around these perceived "turf invasions". While it is only natural to feel a little threatened by novelty, I think of Level 3 as being a diverse company capable of embracing multiple dietary habits. This diversity is manifesting itself in various expressions of flour-based product mass consumption. I embrace the diverse choices being presented and think it is perfectly acceptable to have Bagels and Donuts on the same day. In fact, the originators of both Waffle Wednesdays AND the Bagel Breakfast are Donut Club members. Those of you who have been with the donut club long enough may recall my now infamous statement back in 2004 "this is a donut club, if you want to bring bagels of cupcakes, start your own club". This statement was to ensure the Friday Don…

Thirty six donuts are here at my desk, 36 donuts are here, take one down, pass it around...

Dear members and constituents,
Fabulous Fridays! Full of freedom, fantasizing about the phenomenal fun of the following few days. Find yourself foraging for food on the foyer? Do not despair, donuts were delivered without delay. And that's all the alliteration I can stomach for today. Donuts, however are a different story. Thirty six beauties from LaMar's are sitting there awaiting consumption… and I'm sure I could stomach at least a couple. Sara Baack's debut in the club also marks the debut of the three dozen donut minimum. Sara unfortunately is not here today to witness this wonder Time Wise has delivered, however you can! Grab a cup of coffee (or other politically acceptable beverage of your choice) and come on down to 32C-415 to partake in the wonder we call Donut Fridays.

On a separate note, some of you have inquired about re-chartering. As you may recall, when we started the new rotation in August we had enough members to get us through early January. I wanted to …

Friday Donuts

Dear members and constituents,
I am embanked and unable to be at my desk to know whether donuts are here or not. My presumption is Bill Long, being the responsible guy that he is, has already placed a couple dozen delectible donuts on my desk which are just sitting there awaiting consumption.

Happy Friday!

[Ed Stocker wrote at 9:02 am] I will attest to the fact that Bill has delivered today’s donut miracle.

[JP wrote at 11:08 am] I made it into the office only to watch Marcio grab the last donut! Based on the club's record membership, I am officially moving the minimum quantity of donuts from 2 dozen to 3 dozen. Cheers!

RE: Donuts running late

Got a VM from Time Wise. Donuts are running late but will be here today...

[Ed Stocker wrote:] JP isn’t at his desk so let me attempt to offer some service to the hungry masses. Donuts have arrived. They may have arrived late, but they are still tasty. Two dozen donuts and their associated holes. Thanks to Time Wise for the delivery. Not sure who else to thank for today’s fine spread.

[JP wrote:] Credit goes to Christy Rygiewicz

Who am I?

Does this mug bear any resemblance to your mental image of me?