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Showing posts from April, 2013

Good Morning Starshine

“The man who reads nothing at all is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers”. –Thomas Jefferson.
Dear Members and Constituents, With all the senselessness and silliness going around, I’ve decided to forgo my regular dose of news programming this week. As a result, it appears I missed-out on the re-introduction of child labor to the workforce. How else do you explain the dozens of pint-sized workers wandering about the halls? It’s like a scene borrowed from the pages of Oliver Twist –sans the squalor and misery. It looks like the investment in child-sized urinals in the men’s room will finally pay-off! With all the extra productivity we should be gaining from our new workers, surely you can find some time to grab a donut. This morning’s selection comes courtesy of Rusty Corne (donut boy) and includes some specialty donuts which could cause folks to spontaneously assemble and sing food glorious food. So come over, bring your daughters or sons, and enjoy a sweet t…

Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Awesomeness

Dear Members and Constituents, All due respect to Thomas Jefferson, I think the declaration of independence was slightly off-target when exemplifying the unalienable rights with which we are endowed. I’m speaking, of course, of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. I see the first two as incontrovertible, but take issue with the third. Happiness is felt and should be savored in the moment. It permeates the being and often comes unannounced when least expected. It comes when you are with loved ones and it comes to those engaged in things they are passionate about. You see, happiness is a byproduct, not something to be pursued. You can pursue your dreams, fame, fortune and the betterment of humanity. You can pursue a passion. You can even pursue a mate. Any of these pursuits may bring you happiness, but pursuing happiness is an empty and futile exercise. I don't suppose you can amend the Declaration of Independence, after all we've been independent for quite a while, but …

Donuholic

Dear Members and Constituents. The other day I saw an Elkaholic bumper sticker on a pick-up truck. Clever, but how did the suffix “holic” come to be associated with addictions? While an alcoholic is addicted to alcohol, a workaholic is not addicted to workahol, nor is a chocoholic addicted to chocohol. If I told you I was a horseholic you would intuitively understand my affinity for equines. What if I told you I sit across from a Tracy Holick? And then there’s donuts. Would you call a donut addict a donuholic? Perhaps not, as this might imply they are addicted to the donut holes. A donutic? I suppose it depends on their fervor. Whatever you choose to be called, Kelly Becker (donut girl) provides a selection worthy of the name. So come nurture your habit. You know you want it. Happy Friday!

Chinese Donuts

Dear Members and Constituents,
As some of you know, I keep a record of these missives on my personal blog. Occasionally, I like to peruse the statistics and wonder about the readers. Where are they? How did they find it? Did they like what they read? Last month, I noticed a 50% spike. A little detective work revealed China was suddenly my largest audience. Wow! Could it be Youtiao fans looking for a rounder delicacy? Folks growing weary of North Korea’s shenanigans? Politicians boning-up on English in preparation for a visit from Australia’s prime minister? Avian flu side-effects? Whatever the case, Google decided this was too much fun and took my blog offline. I figured this could not possibly be censorship and decided to call them. If you’ve never had the need to get ahold of Google, be grateful. I’ll spare you the details, but after a gauntlet of dead-ends and a near-endless sequence of tasks, it’s live again. Finding donuts, on the other hand, is much easier (thanks, in no small p…