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Showing posts from October, 2011

A Special Interest in Donuts

Dear Members and Constituents, JP isn’t with us this morning, his schedule has him traveling across the country meeting with customers and presumably trying exotic new varieties of Donuts .  He has left behind a few words for your consumption this morning along with your weekly donut fix. According to a recent  study  by researchers at the University of British Columbia, it costs an average of $145 in campaign spending to sway the average undecided U.S. voter. This same study finds special interest groups get $71 in government subsidies for every dollar in political contributions they make. If you believe these statistics then the average swing voter costs taxpayers $10,295. Talk about high acquisition costs! This also means that if half of our next president’s billion or so dollar campaign spending comes from Special Interests, they should expect to get $35 Billion in taxpayer subsidies –and that’s the presidential race alone. Add congressional races (likely to spend another bi

The Donut Range is now Open

Dear Members and Constituents, Have you booked your safari to Central Ohio yet?  Word on the street is that if you drive I-70 E far enough, there's a large selection of exotic fauna . Grab your assault rifle, put on your orange vest (or police uniform as the case may be) and bag yourself a trophy!  But you have to hurry, supplies are limited.  Hopefully any PETA members amongst you know me well enough to understand this is all tongue-in-cheek -with a tiger blood and Adonis DNA cocktail chaser. Speaking of limited supply, there are only four dozen donuts and they're being bagged fast. Today’s supply comes courtesy of Mike Robles, first time donut boy and NRA-certified gun safety trainer. So come get yours (they’ve got holes in them already so you don’t even need to bring your gun). Happy Friday!

Stop and Smell the Donuts

Dear Members and Constituents, As I was driving-in this morning, having missed a week of donuts, I was anticipating the sweet taste while contemplating how to follow-up on Ed Stocker’s semi-prophetic Tim Tebow e-mail . How might I build on it? How could I top it? I was so focused on trying to find a way to grow on this theme that I almost neglected to enjoy the beautiful colors now manifest on the trees, the way the sun cast strong shadows on the snow capped mountains or the crisp fall air attempting to sharpen my senses. Suddenly, it dawned on my that I have a propensity to take things for granted (unless, of course something happens to upset the status quo). And it’s not just me (I think it’s save to generalize in this case). We’re always trying to improve our lives, grow our wealth and increase our joy. The lucky billion or so living in countries with an average gross income per capita of $12,196 or more are pursuing technological luxuries while the least fortunate billion or so

Donuts Are Here

[posted by Ed Stocker while JP is out] Dear Members and Constituents, If you follow the Denver Broncos (or even if you don’t) you’ve probably heard of Tim Tebow.  He is currently a polarizing figure in the world of professional sports.  Even outside of Denver Tebow remains a hot topic and is frequently discussed on sports radio and ESPN.  Today I wanted us to delve a little deeper into the Tebow debate.  I want to ask, and attempt to answer, the question on everyone’s mind.  If Tim Tebow were a donut, what variety would he be? Glazed – more of an everyday player, always reliable and plentiful, I’m thinking offensive line. Crueler – it’s light and airy, very fast to eat, good tasting but not necessarily filing, maybe a Corner Back. Cake - is nice if that’s your thing, but too heavy for some, more of a Defensive Lineman. Jelly Filled – sweetness but not always what you expect, you may want Strawberry but get a Lemon – has to be a Running Back. Bagel – not a donut, but this