Friday Donuts

Friends, Social media is littered with curated portfolios of our best moments. Only photos with perfect smiles, open eyes and our best angles will do. The rest are discarded. As you get older, finding that perfect perspective gets harder, so the ratio of posted to discarded images creeps ever lower. A couple of weeks ago, while at National Harbor, MD, Kelsie Davis (an amazing colleague and human being) managed to capture one such unicorn photo of me as we were standing in front of the landmark Captain Wheel. I think you’ll agree it's quite flattering. I leave you with that image as I head out the front door to celebrate national donut day with another amazing colleague at Landline Doughnuts in Longmont. Happy National Donut (Fri)Day!                                                                 ↑ yours truly ↑

Friends, Call me crazy, but I enjoy painting mental pictures with unusual metaphors and analogies (and the occasional bad pun). Why settle for describing a book as a great read, when you can say it gave shirtless sax solo vibes? Instead of saying a friend is stubborn, one might describe them as having the threshold for pain and bad decisions of a facial tattoo bearer. Of course, like watering a cactus, you need to exercise restraint, lest you lose your audience. Like the restraint I’m showing right now by limiting my donut consumption to one. What fun metaphors have you used lately? Happy Friday! Putting this picture here makes as much sense as marble urinal dividers ​

Friends, Ever find yourself, soapy hands outstretched under the sink, cursing the plumbing gods for the broken sensor, only to realize you’re at a manual faucet? The mix-and-match array of touch less and traditional gadgets at public restrooms can get confusing. Flush, soap, wash, dry, air dry, sanitize, and exit; all with inconsistently implemented automation. Ripping and replacing all gadgets at once would be a costly endeavor, but prioritization shouldn’t be left to chance. A “gross/last touch” matrix, where the levers most likely to be germ-infested (gross) and the reverse order in which they touch our skin (last touch) are given a higher electrification priority seems like a reasonable approach to me. By the way, when did we decide mixing water and electricity was OK? Anyway, so long as you wash your hands before you go get donuts, I suppose the gadget gauntlet is a minor inconvenience. Happy Friday!

Friends, Cordyceps, a fungus that turns ants into zombies is scary stuff! So much so, it inspired the dystopian plot for the video game, and later HBO series, The Last of Us. So why would the makers of Ryze, a mushroom “coffee” be bombarding me with ads, feature this ingredient? Perhaps the fungus-controlled minions have become so sophisticated they are using a marketing campaign to take over the world. Perhaps. It's supposed to boost stamina, which would explain why the zombies never seem to stop coming. At least donuts don’t yet feature that ingredient, or we’d be doomed. Happy Friday!​

Friends, As a kid, TV was a convenient way to explore the world beyond my backyard. Exotic animals in far flung jungles and cowboys in untamed lands kindled my malleable imagination. Growing up I realized many of the plot devices in use at the time made rare events appear common. It turns out my fear of encountering quicksand on hikes was unwarranted, as were my worries of getting amnesia from bumping my head, or being knocked out by a karate chop. Most criminals don’t confess, cars going off cliffs don’t tend to explode, and estranged twins rarely show up out of nowhere to fill your shoes. And, fortunately, one doesn’t need to become a cop to consume donuts on the regular. As for auditory and visual hallucinations, I’m still waiting. Happy Friday! The Plot Tthickens ...

Friends, The two sports franchises that call Ball Arena (aka ballerina) home took diverging paths this week. Both teams had home court/ice advantage. The Avs took care of business, sweeping the Kings (#nokings). The Nuggets couldn’t get it done, and were sadly eliminated last night against Minnesota (#nojokic). I attribute the difference to the fact I didn’t attend any Nuggets games this series. I know, my bad. As the Avalanche readies to bury the Wild, I’m seriously considering buying round 2 tickets, lest another Minnesota team put a wrench in our postseason run. At a minimum, I must have a donut with extra frosting (#noicing). Happy Friday!

Friends, “I would love to know of any plant-based vegan neighbors to connect with.  ”.  When I saw this, I contemplated trolling the post, then decided to take the higher road and muse on it with you (behind their back, of course). At first blush, it felt as redundant as saying music-based bands, activity-based hikers, or hate-based racists. Could there be another kind of vegans? While there clearly are no meat-based vegans, perhaps there are folks who avoid fungi, that other kingdom that is neither plant nor animal. These folks might also avoid algae, which are part of the protista kingdom. Perhaps I was rushing to judgment without all the facts. Maybe they weren’t asking for it after all. Then again, they did use the little hearts emoji at the end. Yeah, they deserve it. In any event, it’s good to be able to share this with donut-based friends. Happy Friday! Not suitable for plant-based vegans ​

Friends, At night, the moon’s albedo stirs libido, and my thoughts wander, as I wonder about many a things: I wonder why the brash pretend to be brave. I suppose words are cheap.  How can crass tastes pass for class? I suppose wealth and taste are independent variables (more golden decorations anyone?).  When did the small minded get the idea they have a smart mind? I suppose it’s always been so. As these and other thoughts parade through my head, Morpheus finally arrives. A final thought of donuts sneaks in, then sleep finally sets in. Good night moon (or lack thereof). One more thought for the pillow: Was there no other order these two light rail lines could be listed in? ​ ​ Happy Friday!

Friends, Have you been following the lunar flyby expedition? As I ponder the mission’s completion, with splashdown scheduled for tonight, I start my own journey down the proverbial rabbit hole. First, there’s so much information to sift through. Once you get past the earthrise, eclipse, and far side crater stuff, you get to the mythology. Artemis was Apollo’s twin sister. While this subtle connection to prior moon missions makes sense, Apollo is part of a rare breed of gods whose name is the same in both Greek and Roman myth. This matters because the precursor to the Apollo missions was Mercury, the Roman god of trade, travel and thieves. The other mission series in that era, Gemini, was also named after Roman twins. Artemis is a Greek goddess. Diana, Apollo’s Roman twin feels like a more suitable name, does it not? There’s the Orion capsule. A fellow Greek, hunter and acquaintance. While the intra-mission mythological consistency is good, he was killed by Artemis—not so good. I suppos...

Friends, Travel puts you in a surreal state of mind where the implausible feels possible and you’re more likely to accept things on face value. It often starts with that late night drive where nothing’s on the radio, so you settle for BBC news and their GMT off-color banter about an Australian surfer being killed by a shark … nudge, nudge, say no more. That sets the tone for the audio hallucinations to follow. You hear the announcement that boarding has started at gate “Amen” (actually A9). So you say a prayer and get in line. Once aboard, the flight attendant instructs passengers: “destroy” your carry on bag… (actually “to stow”). By the time you land at a far away airport in an exotic destination, you’re so desensitized, the presence of a Dunkin’ feels normal. You buy an overpriced stale donut and reach for your carry on bag. Never mind, you destroyed it. Happy Good Friday!​

Friends, Wanna experience pure unadulterated joy? Go hiking in the foothills on a cool spring morning. Keep your cell in your pocket. Or go lounge on your back porch under the shade of a large tree. Eyes closed, breeze on your face, and dog by your side. Or, better yet, get on a trampoline with a two year old. Dive into the second-hand exhilaration. Then get yourself a donut and an ice cold glass of milk. Mmmm. Cheers to the simple things. Happy Friday!

Friends, The weight of the sun’s rays lay heavy on my skin as I left the house for my early afternoon walk. It felt as if an invisible magnifying glass in the sky had concentrated the heat on the back of my neck, warming my bones to the core. Sol de aguas (water sun), I said to myself as I went on my way. I had fool-heartedly decided to forgo the umbrella and rain jacket, trusting the inevitable downpour would hold off long enough for me to arrive at my destination. Big mistake. I accelerated my pace as the dark clouds on the small mountain valley’s horizon snuck up behind me, a cool breeze quietly filling the air that moments ago had felt like a sauna. Then, the drop. A large, solitary raindrop hit like the sharp rap of a finger on the top of my head. A pause. Then another, this time it splatters on my cheekbone, sprinkling debris on my eye. Time to run. In seconds flat, the syncopated staccato beat makes way for the deluge, drenching me from crown to soles. I reach for my key and ope...

Friends, Is it me, or does the weather usually feel unusual? Perhaps that’s why it’s such a popular topic of conversation. While Colorado is having an unusually warm and dry winter, unusually heavy rain feeds frenzied rivers, toppling bridges in Cuenca, my hometown. Whether we blame it on a boy (el niño) or a girl, oscillations or vortexes, everything is connected in this small speck of the cosmos we call home. Besides the unusual weather, the other usual thing happening at the González household this morning are donuts — Krispy Kreme, to be specific. Here’s hoping your usual donuts are unusually good. Happy Friday! Since I mentioned Cuenca, here are a couple of photos taken on a recent trip.

 Where did Friday go? Yesterday came and went without a donut missive. For the first time in a long time, no silly snippets, random ramblings or profound pondering. Not for lack of ideas. It just happened. The culprit: unanticipated travel delays and work got in the way.  If you failed to notice, no worries, you're in good company. If you think about it, makes sense. While an email in your inbox or post in your feed calls for attention, its absence amidst a busy day is easily missed. Out of sight, out of mind. The good news: I was able to get a donut at the airport and I had started a draft before the day got away from me. So, without further ado, here's yesterday's post (completed):  Friends, How literal are you? I have a propensity to interpret things too literally. As a child, when I heard my sister broke her head, I imagined her skull cracked open, brain exposed to the elements; not the small cut she actually had. When relatives told me of their boat tr...

Friends, This is post #1,000 to the Friday Donuts blog, can you believe it? Granted, there have been more Fridays than posts (all my Qwest Friday donut club posts and most of the first year of Level 3 Friday donut club posts were lost). Still, there's something about big round numbers that calls for dramatic acknowledgement.  Someone once asked me if I ever feel lazy and do reruns. The truth is that while I may subconsciously do variations on certain themes (space, philosophy, news, morality, humor, poetry), I always try to keep these notes as fresh and original as possible. I've also been asked if I have a favorite post. Well, I don't but I figured this momentous occasion warrants a retrospective. If you have the time, a warm beverage and a donut, I've curated a few above-average posts. A word of caution, reading these may take you down Alice in Wonderland's proverbial donut hole. If not, I hope you at least have a donut. In any event, without further ado, here...

Friends, As we begin the Chinese year of the fire horse (not firehose as some would have you believe), it felt appropriate to lean-in to the fire theme and give up ice for lent. It should be good for the environment, after all it takes energy to freeze water. It can also serve as a small form of civil protest to the atrocities being committed by this nefarious agency. I can hear myself saying it already: “water, no ICE”. I suppose this would also apply to the icing on the cake donuts. So, what size is ICE as it continues to metastasize? Hard to say, but we may only be seeing the tip of the iceberg. It’s gotten so bad that when National Geographic was promoting an article on black ice, I thought it was a PR stunt trying to clean up the agency’s image. Turns out it was about slippery roads, not the slippery slope our government a[[ears to be on. Whatever your lenten sacrifice might be (if anything), I hope we can all agree to say “neigh” to abusive masked men dehumanizing immig...

Friends, Superstition dictates what you’re not supposed to do on Friday the 13th. Travel, get married, start a new venture. I think adding workouts to the list would not be a stretch. After all, going to the gym these days feels like a TV crime drama. It’s not just the muscular tattooed guys and gals that would be right at home in a 70s prison yard scene. There’s the individually shrink wrapped and vacuum sealed butt cheeks being preserved for evidence. The sixty-something gang chatting it up and obviously up to no good. And let’s not forget all the people wiping their fingerprints off of everything they touch. You can see the potential for unfortunate events transpiring. Much safer to grab yourself a donut and stay out of harm’s way. Happy Friday! Apropos travel, I really hope the duck tape is on the jetway, not my plane

Friends, When it comes to networking, I’m in the remedial category. Small talk is not my forte, giving and accepting praise feels awkward, and keeping in touch is a struggle. I certainly don’t deserve the random acts of kindness folks bestow on me on a surprisingly regular basis. Don’t get me started on the thoughtful gifts — the lion’s share of which revolves around donuts. From the anonymous “donut whisperer” shirt I wore to tatters to the donut-shaped mug that graces my desk, the thought that someone would go out of their way to buy me something is humbling. Then there’s the next level: crafts. Which brings me to the latest addition to my donut-themed paraphernalia collection. My good friend and esteemed colleague Beth Keserauskis found some donut-patterned canvas and decided to apply her advanced sewing skills to make me a tote. Now I can shop for donuts in style! All I can say is: I must have done something right with my life, that’s the only way I can explain being surrounded by ...

Friends, One likes to think proficiency and results are the way to reach the top. Do good and the world will do good by you. Right? But that’s not always the way the world works. In real life some good people get held back while incompetence (or worse) often fails up. Case in point: the star of the apprentice. How the heck did he get to the oval? Or, take murder, the quintessential activity where you’re rewarded for failure. Succeed and you’re in the slammer for life. Fail (i.e., attempted murder) and you’ll get a much lighter sentence. Fortunately, when it comes to donuts, the reward is instantaneous. All you have to do is order and, bam, instant gratification. and so it is that, I raise my coffee and donut to all you “slow and steady wins the race” folks out there. I take solace in knowing there’s so many more of us. Happy Friday! ​

  Note : for best results, I recommend you turn on your rapper brain before reading this.  Friends, On this fine day I’d like to say, nay propose, you should read this using lyrical prose.  As I see the AFC’s final game, the Broncos should all the same send the visiting team from whence they came, with a loss to their name. Even with Nix nixed for the season, the defense is the reason we’ve made it this far (not a single star). So, as a footnote, even though footage shows Bo lost his footing, injuring his foot when a Bills safety couldn’t safely tackle him, the backup quarterback will bring the Broncos back to the Super Bowl, y’all! It may be the donuts I ate talking, but I think this is a team of fate. I know this note is late, sorry it's so tardy, but it’s time the Lombardi landed at mile high.  Happy Friday!

Friends, Stop me if you’ve heard this one before: what’s a donut lover’s favorite day of the week? Fry-day. Get it? It all makes sense now. Right? Here’s hoping you have a delightful day and you get a chance to put the fry back in Friday. Cheers!

Friends, Picture this clickbait: Narcissistic dictator known for ignoring the rule of law, his long-winded, often nonsensical discourse, and a contempt for the truth, snatched and flown-in to face justice. Now imagine reading this in Canada. You might be forgiven for momentarily thinking the Mounties finally crossed the border and put the orange man in an orange jumpsuit. Of course, we all know what really happened, and despite the spectacular mishandling of the situation, I’m glad to see Maduro behind bars. Speaking of Canada, Southwest Airlines does not fly to Toronto, but if you search tor a flight, they will show you itineraries to ONT (Ontario, California). One might be forgiven for thinking it’s another nearby airport and booking a much cheaper trip. Assuming you don’t fall for the ploy, once downtown YYZ, the donut holes at Greta Arcade Bar are pretty, pretty good. Happy Friday!

Happy New Year, Friends! My household likes to ring in the new year by figuratively burning away the year that was. Picking a suitable effigy that is both relatable and fun can get a little tricky. Politicians and dead celebrities often provide good fodder, but this time I wanted to go in a different direction. Enter the brazen eight-minute heist of the crown jewels at the Louvre. In case you missed it, a four-man crew disguised as construction workers used a cherry picker, angle grinders and scooters to go in and out in a flash. And, since my wife and I had a chance to case — I mean to visit — the palace this year, it felt perfect. That’s how the idea of the Monalisa getting held up came to life. In the process I was able to work-in six seven as part of the treasure being stolen. If you’re over 17, google it (and if you’re already familiar with the meme, google it anyway, the screen effect that presents the results will give you a smirk). Here are a few photos of the event for y...