Putting the Mental Back in Elemental

Friends,

Call me crazy, but I enjoy painting mental pictures with unusual metaphors and analogies (and the occasional bad pun). Why settle for describing a book as a great read, when you can say it gave shirtless sax solo vibes? Instead of saying a friend is stubborn, one might describe them as having the threshold for pain and bad decisions of a facial tattoo bearer. Of course, like watering a cactus, you need to exercise restraint, lest you lose your audience. Like the restraint I’m showing right now by limiting my donut consumption to one. What fun metaphors have you used lately?
Happy Friday!

Putting this picture here makes as much sense as marble urinal dividers

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Donut Doodle Dandy

Dear Members and Constituents, In trying to figure-out Wednesday’s cool-looking Google Doodle ( Jorge Luis Borges’ 112 th birthday ), I stumbled across a list of Google Doodles you’ll never see. This, and a Rockies game later that day, were sufficient inspiration to get my head spinning around what other doodles Google might never noodle? I’m sure you’ll probably have a few ideas of your own, but I was able to come-up with a couple. How about a former Colorado Rockies player whose unfortunate encounter with a moth put him in the news this week? The Matt Holliday doodle might look something like this… Another item which, surprisingly enough, has not been made into a doodle are donuts. Although I was slightly taken aback to find this delicious pastry has not been featured, after the initial disappointment, I decided to take matters into my own hands and take a stab at one (perhaps Google can use it next year for national donut day )… or to celebrate Greek police having “ blown a ho...

Bring your own Geiger counter!

Friends, This week’s news were literally radioactive -and I’m not talking about the fallout from the Trump-Putin summit. I’m talking mutate your DNA-exciting news. I’m talking Marie Curie-worthy news. I’m talking Geiger-counter-tilting news. I’m talking… well, you get the (glow in the dark) picture. A study about a lone wolf collared near Chernobyl and tracked on a long trek spawned the headline “ Could Chernobyl Wolves Be Spreading Mutations? ” While one can be forgiven for envisioning a flying wolf with laser eyes and a green aura about it, the disappointing story basically says most mutations are harmful to an animal’s health -and unhealthy animals are unlikely to travel 250 miles and mate with other wolves, contaminating the gene pool. So, much ado about nothing. The desire to open Rocky Flats (a nuclear weapons facility turned wildlife refuge) to the public has triggered some litigation from an environmentalist group. At st...

Bonne Année

Happy New Year, Friends! My household likes to ring in the new year by figuratively burning away the year that was. Picking a suitable effigy that is both relatable and fun can get a little tricky. Politicians and dead celebrities often provide good fodder, but this time I wanted to go in a different direction. Enter the brazen eight-minute heist of the crown jewels at the Louvre. In case you missed it, a four-man crew disguised as construction workers used a cherry picker, angle grinders and scooters to go in and out in a flash. And, since my wife and I had a chance to case — I mean to visit — the palace this year, it felt perfect. That’s how the idea of the Monalisa getting held up came to life. In the process I was able to work-in six seven as part of the treasure being stolen. If you’re over 17, google it (and if you’re already familiar with the meme, google it anyway, the screen effect that presents the results will give you a smirk). Here are a few photos of the event for y...

Friday Donuts

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