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The Resolution Rap

Dear Members and Constituents, It’s that time of year when you feel everything is possible. The sky is the limit and you’re ready to do what it takes. And so I too will try my hand at something new. Freestyle. Those of you who believe you can’t spell crap without rap cover your ears (and read-on). The rest of you, give me a beat box. Don’t let your resolution lead to disillusion. I propose a revolution where substitution of the classic institution leads to retribution. Here’s the solution and it’s proposed execution. Sure it’d be great to lose weight. You can elevate your gait to escalate your burn rate; or moderate what you ate on that late date. But before you try the feat and retreat from what you eat, let me be indiscreet and make you think on your feet. There’s folks on the street with no meat, wheat or beets. Wouldn’t it be sweet to put hunger on a complete retreat? Or some, I hear, wish to steer your career. From engineer to marketeer or cashier to financier? Whatever you do, …

To Thine Own Self be True!

Dear Members and Constituents, Who are you trying to impress? When you walk out the door and put on that mask, who is it for? And why do you care so much? Is it a desire to be liked or a fear to be loathed? If we are true to ourselves, we should know that being liked for something we fake is not real. Wouldn’t we rather be valued and respected for who we truly are? As for fear, it seems to me political correctness has made our society very thin-skinned. If our intentions are pure, why should it matter how others interpret our actions and words? We are all grown-up, we can handle it. I feel our society has lost much of its resiliency because so many people are afraid someone somewhere might be offended. And we are all impoverished by it. In this season of joy, we should not have to conceal the reason for our happiness (or sadness) just because that might  be unpopular. I will still respect you even if I don’t share your beliefs or agree with your views (not that you should care J). An…

The Donut Connection

Dear Members and Constituents, When I hinted I might be guest writing the weekly donut e-mails from time-to-time, I didn’t expect to be doing it this soon. Ed is on PTO and someone needed to let this social network we call the Friday Donut Club know donuts had arrived. Speaking of social networks, do you ever get friend requests or invitations to connect from folks you don’t know? If you’re like me, it happens fairly often. For the most part, when I receive these I am often compelled to do some research on the off chance I know the person but don’t remember their name. Then there’s the case of warhad faseel, voice presidetn at OMRAN (SIC). He is in the real estate industry in Afghanistan, has 27 connections on LinkedIn and wishes to add me as the 28th. Warhad’s dominion of the English language notwithstanding (I presume he meant his title to be “Vice President”), and even though real estate prices in Afghanistan are probably a screaming deal (in more than one sense of the word), I st…

Writing Into the Sunset

Dear Members and Constituents,
I think corporate America’s obsession with efficiency is generally healthy. Companies create competitive acumen as waste goes by the wayside. Product prices drop as productivity proliferates. Granted, it’s not all goodness. Change can be disruptive and it seems people seldom stay in the same post for long. Institutional memory can easily evaporate and re-formed teams can sometimes struggle re-building their chemistry. Standing as an affront to the unintended negative side-effects of continuous improvement is Level 3’s own Friday Donut Club. It was 489 weeks ago today that I started this ragtag band of sugar seekers. Although the club has moved up (one floor) and around (four offices) and grown from fifteen to fifty members (with a hundred and fifty having gone through the ranks at various points in time), it has always had two constants: donuts and my fingerprints. For the past nine years and change it has been my honor to preside over this “vice”. The t…

Take in the Donuts

Dear Members and Constituents,
We’ve all seen them. Cameras strapped around their necks, hair disheveled, making unexpected stops along the way. Looking out of place and not caring about making fools of themselves. As a matter of fact, we’ve all been them. Visiting the sites locals know about but never bother to go. Not caring that the traditional cuisine is not what locals eat and the antiques have recently been aged. I’m talking about tourists, of course. Why is it we only behave that way when we’re so far from home? I have a feeling it has something to do with the fact we don’t know whether we’ll ever be back, so we want to take it all in. As tourists, we have an expiration date and want to make the most of the limited time we’ve got. At home, on the other hand, we’re surrounded by the familiar, we have our comfort zone and we take our ability to take the sites in “sometime” for granted. I know folks who lived in Anaheim but never went to Disneyland until they moved three thousand m…

Yea Winter

[Posted by Ed Stocker]

Dear Members and Constituents,
Last week we celebrated the arrival of fall to our fair city. Now, our two weeks of Fall seem to be behind us this year.  Today we awake to the first really cold and snowy morning telling us Fall is gone and Winter is marching forward.
To help combat the chill in the air and the dark skies above, Karl Schaller has brought in today’s treats.  We’ve got 4 dozen Donuts from LaMar’s to brighten up the morning and make it feel just a little warmer.  They’re delivered and ready to enjoy in the usual spot, 32C-510. Come on down and make your morning just a little better.  You’ll be glad you did.
Thanks,
Ed

Certainties

[Posted by Ed Stocker]
Dear Members and Constituents, Fall is here. You can feel it this morning, the cool air and light mist. Leaves are starting to turn and rakes will be brought out of garages.  Football, whether you lean toward College or Pro, is taking over stadiums and TVs.  It's a certainty every year that Fall will follow Summer.  Friday donuts have also become a certainty. Even with JP traveling the expectation is set that the Donut club will move forward.  Nino Mecevic has taken it on himself this morning to make sure that happens and has delivered four dozen donuts form LaMar’s this morning, including a nice array of specialties.  So come down to JPs and get one while they last.  Happy Friday,
Ed

Forecast – Sunny Chance of Donuts

[Posted by Ed Stocker]
Dear Members and Constituents, As I sat wondering what type of deliciousness was going to welcome me in the morning I thought I would take a look at the available data and see if I could forecast what to expect. Using the YTD results of the Donut Club I pieced together a picture of what we typically receive.  I determined that on average we will have 4.27 dozen donuts.  But it is likely that today we will l have exactly 4 dozen, as that happens 65% of the time.  Krispy Kreme’s are likely to have more than four dozen donuts, but, 5280, with an admittedly small statistical sampling, always shows up with 5 dozen. In sequencing we see that Krispy Kreme’s will follow LaMar’s or Krispy Kreme, but, rarely will they be delivered the week after Winchell’s. Donuts are most likely to come from LaMar’s or Krispy Kreme.  Both brands have their followers and the arguments over which are better can be great, but that is a subject for a different email.  66% of the time one of t…

The donuts are dry!

Dear Members and Constituents, As I made my way to work this morning, letting my mind wander to the lazy hum of the overboard motor and watching a pod of dolphins swimming in my wake I got to thinking: 300 days of sunshine, my donkey! Someone decided it would be funny if Coloradans had to walk in Seattle’s shoes for a week. With the weather the way it’s been, I suppose a good share of you are probably working from home today. Those of you who decided to brave the elements will be glad to hear, Karin Ratchinski (donut girl) has an impeccable backstroke, which means she managed to keep four dozen Winchell’s donuts dry for you despite making the perilous swim from the parking structure. So, as you keep your thoughts on Lyons, grab a bear claw and make your way to the ark. Most of all, try to stay dry. Happy Friday!

Forty nine circles of dough in the box

Dear Members and Constituents, Last night Peyton Manning became the sixth professional quarterback to throw seven touchdown passes. As we all know, a touchdown pass results in six points –seven with the point-after conversion. With no other Broncos scoring going-on (we threw away a defensive pick six, so it could easily had been seven more), the final score was 49. That’s four dozen plus one points, which leads me to believe it’s fate. You see, Curtis Crawford (donut boy) delivered the exact same number of donuts this morning (one baker’s dozen in the mix?). They’re here and ready for consumption, so, whether you’re a football fan, a donut fan (or both), you should come celebrate.
Happy Friday!

Pre-Season Donuts

Dear Members and Constituents, Last night as I watched the Broncos lose a meaningless game to the Cardinals, I was struck by something the commentator said. Twenty three of the players on the Broncos roster would be let go after the game. All the players on the field (with the possible exception of the kicker) play at a level I could never hope to achieve. Still, with only fifty three slots on the team, tough decisions have to be made, leaving the coach in an unenviable position. The same can be said for our colleagues affected by this week’s reduction in force. Of the names I've heard, not one strikes me as someone who was under-performing or who somehow deserved to be fired. On the contrary, because our company prides itself in hiring the best and the brightest, these are folks who have a strong work ethic and take pride in their accomplishments. It is difficult to see them go, however, given their caliber, I have a feeling they will be snatched-up by other employers very quick…

What if donuts were late?

Dear Members and Constituents, What if. Utter these two words and magic happens. Suddenly, you have permission to suspend disbelief, move past a mental roadblock or impasse and travel the less-trodden road. You're empowered to imagine a world that might be, free from the shackles of pragmatism, tradition and reality. What if you could fly? Where would you go, what would you do, how would you use your newfound power? What if money was not an object? Would you keep the same job, work the same hours, have the same attitude? What if you were born in a war-torn, opportunity-poor country? How would you feel about the immigration debate in the U.S.? What if you were diagnosed with a terminal disease tomorrow? What if you were guaranteed you were never going to die? What if you could do anything you wanted without consequences? What if?
The list of potential questions is as interminable as the answers they evoke. I think even Socrates, (the guy who said ὁ δὲ ἀνεξέταστος βίος οὐ βιωτὸς ἀ…

5,280 Donuts

[Posted by Ed Stocker in JP's absence]
Dear Members and Constituents, We live in the mile high city, but we aren’t the only ones that can lay a claim to 5,280.  Chicago’s Magnificent Mile is 5,280 feet of shopping, shows, museums restaurants and fun.  Grandfather Mountain is home to the Mile High Swinging Bridge 5,280 feet from sea level.  Traveling from San Diego to London?  That will be around 5,280 miles. The all time single season record for passing in the NFL held by Drew Brees is just about 5,280 feet.  I’m writing this email today because JP has taken off for a visit to phoenix, which if he made three round trips would be 5,280 miles.

And now, joining the 5,280 club is “The 5280 Donuts” located at 555 US HWY 287 in Broomfield or www.the5280donut.com on line.  There’s something about their name I really like, maybe its “The” so prominently and proudly part of their moniker that reaches out to me.  Michael Frost originally alerted us to the presence of this new donut purveyor…

PEDs (Pretty Exciting Donuts)

Dear Members and Constituents, As some of you know, I don't get baseball. I understand the rules and love the ballpark experience. I do, however, find the absence of beer and hotdogs can make the game seem rather boring. I've heard there is a strategy angle –a battle of wits between pitcher and batter- which is lost on me. There are far too many games, and the sport seems to relish scandal. I didn't grow up with baseball so perhaps you can blame my upbringing. Then again, I didn't grow-up with donuts and look at me now, pimping the delicious treats Jeff King (donut boy) brought today. There's four dozen here, so no need to take PEDs to beat the competition. Then again they're Krispy Kreme's, so there's a chance we might run-out.
Happy Friday!

Clowns, Balloons, Rainbows and Donuts

Dear Members and Constituents,
What is it about clowns that can evoke both joy and fear?  Their rainbow hair, pasty skin and cherry noses are clearly intended to amuse us. Did Stephen King single-handedly ruin the unicycle-riding, balloon-toting, ten-to-a-VW-bug performers? Or Is this symptomatic of a larger trend? Misunderstandings and differences of opinion are all too common. Siblings bicker, friends become enemies and nations go to war –and everyone's right, of course. We all see the same objective reality from a different subjective angle. Interpretation overshadows intention. Even donuts have occasionally been maligned by health-crazed Nazis. Of course that's not a concern for this group. I fully expect the four dozen donuts Melissa Matthews brought in this morning will be gone by the end of the day. So come get yours while there’s still hope for a rainbow sprinkled, powder covered or cherry-filled treat. Happy Friday!

Random Acts of Kindness

Dear Members and Constituents, Thank you! You out there, going out of your way to do nice things for others, thank you. To the friend, who bought me a breakfast burrito on Tuesday, thank you. To the anonymous donor who left a donut on my desk on Wednesday morning, thank you. Every time the cynic in me wishes to focus on the dark underbelly lint of humanity, the army of micro-philanthropists doing those little things that make this world a friendly place, remind me of the overwhelming goodness out there. Thank you, one and all! A special thank you to Matt Hawthorne (donut boy), he went all the way out to Krispy Kreme to get four-and-a-half dozen donuts for us to enjoy this morning. So, take a quick break from all your do-gooding, do something nice for yourself and come grab a donut. I’m sure the energy and cheer you get will help you to continue the virtuous cycle of selflessness.
Happy Friday!

Vacation, Motivation and the Donut Nation

Dear Members and Constituents
What possesses us to abandon the comfort of our routines (work, home, even Friday Donuts) and head-out on vacation? That was the question running through my head last week as I explored my old stomping grounds at Yellowstone National Park. Why endure the afflictions of travel delays, adventuresome restroom experiences and unfamiliar-sleeping-surface-induced insomnia? After some thought, I’ve concluded it’s a tapestry of motivating factors –blended and weighted to the right proportions for each individual. We do it to please, prove, pump-up, learn, yearn, earn, escape and/or check-the-box (for ourselves or others). We may be trying to please or prove something to ourselves or others. We may try to exercise our bodies (pump-up) or minds (learn something). We may yearn for the good old days and visit places that trigger fond memories. It may be purely financial (to earn a buck) or we just need an escape from the routine. Finally, while I understand the human …

Donuts of Borg

Dear Members and Constituents, I have been assimilated. All it took was a trip through Wyoming's byways to realize my reliance on technology is approaching the near-symbiotic levels of the Borg (that infamous Star Trek collective). Accessing a subspace channel to reach the Hive (i.e. getting on the Internet) to retrieve directions to the Super Volcano (i.e. Yellowstone National Park) proved to be a frustrating task. Granted, a predictable surprise, after all, cell towers are capital-intensive beasts and tend to be deployed where people congregate. I write you this note, as a marooned castaway crafts a message-in-a-bottle: without the benefit of a thesaurus and with only the hope someone will receive it. I suppose I was in more need of an e-mail cleanse and social media detox than I realized.
Speaking of social media, if you're getting this note, it means Anthony Christie (donut boy and marketer-in-charge) has delivered four dozen delicious donuts. Donuts I can only covet from af…

Happy 5th of July!

Dear Members and Constituents, Happy 5th of July! I feel good today -despite staying up late watching the fireworks, having that extra beer, brat and/or burger and working today. Why you ask? It’s not the residual glow from the sparkling streamers or booming bombs. It’s not a lingering buzz from beer or carbs consumed last night. It’s not even the fact I get to be in the office today –although that has something to do with it. It’s the donuts! Amy Nelson, donut girl, has come-up with a festive selection to help us celebrate independence day encore. An explosion of giant specialty donuts accompanies a steady stream of Ray’s glazed. So if you’re lucky enough to be working today, come-on down and grab one. And if not, well, it’s your loss. J
Happy Friday!

Trust -but Verify- Donuts Have Arrived

Dear Members and Constituents, Trust is a fundamental building block to knowledge. Everything you think you know is based on it. You trust your senses are not some illusion put there by a nefarious being (think “the Matrix” or René Descartes’ premise of an evil being fooling you into believing you exist –which led to his famous “I think therefore I am” conclusion). You trust your memories are a product of your own experiences and not just some file placed there by a brain hacker. You trust your parents weren't just messing with you. You trust teachers aren’t just making stuff-up. You trust science. You trust faith. Even the most skeptical person’s worldview is built on trust. I suppose that is why conspiracy theories have such great appeal. After all, at some level, we realize that if our trust is misplaced, we could easily be deceived. A great example is an e-mail I received from Chris Hynes (donut boy). The message “The Donuts have landed!!!” had a time stamp of 7:28 AM. I was …

A Cause for Celebration?

[Posted by Ed Stocker in JP's absence]
Dear Members and Constituents, Today we are celebrating the 9th anniversary of our little donut club.  I’d like to personally thank JP for starting this many moons ago, but he’s out of the office today, so this email will have to do.
9 years is a long time.  Many things can’t make it 9 years, Concert Communications was a Billion dollar joint venture between BT and MCI (later replaced by AT&T) and only lasted 8 years.  Some take 9 years but accomplish little, in the Nine Years War France fought basically the rest of Europe and the end result was only small changes in a few country’s borders.  Sometimes good things can happen, in his first 9 years in the NBA Michael Jordan won 3 NBA Championships. 
I’ll let you determine for yourself if 9 years of a donut club is worth celebrating or not.  I will point out that in two years we’ll be at 11 and able to jam with Spinal Tap when we need to turn it up for that extra push over the cliff.
Our Do…

0s are Here!

Dear Members and Constituents, In an age when many kids don't understand why toll-free numbers exist, it seems ironic that a couple of telephone numbers are increasingly being used as words. Just yesterday, I heard a radio station give listeners "the 4-1-1" on upcoming concerts. I’ve also heard folks use “9-1-1” in lieu of “emergency”. I don’t think the goal is expediency, after all, you're only saving a syllable in each case, and the words “info” and “urgent” are both shorter. No, it’s something entirely different –and I think this concept has legs. In-fact, I have a few ideas on how to expand it. Broadcasting stations could have 5-1-1 reporters (traffic), and I can really see the expression "would you like me to 7-1-1 that for you?" (meaning "do I need to repeat myself?") really catching-on with parents. In bars, a girl might tell that guy to whom she just gave her phone number “8-1-1 me” (call before, you dig? –alright, maybe this is going a b…

Happy National Donut Day!

Dear Members and Constituents, Happy NDD! (National Donut Day). Imagine if they'd called it American Donut Day (ADD), wait, I lost my train of thought, where was I?. Right. On this day we celebrate several donut milestones. We anticipate Dunkin Donuts' imminent arrival to Denver and their newly launched donut breakfast sandwich –donut + bacon + eggs = yum! We also cheer Voodoo Doughnut’s decision to go beyond Oregon with a store on East Colfax –gritty + scary + sleazy = ideal location! Finally, we applaud Mack Greene's bewildering selection of four dozen LaMar's specimens. Assuming you are not out-and-about getting your free donut at a local shop, you can come get yours right here. Cheers!
Happy Friday!

Donuts in the Now

Dear Members and Constituents, When is the last time you gave something your undivided attention? Better yet, do you ever wonder whether that is even possible anymore? If you’re like me, your commute involves driving while listening to the radio and checking your smartphone at the red lights. We arrive at work to take conference calls while checking e-mail and trying to hold a side conversation with that person who swings-by. Finally, our evening relaxation involves trying to maintain a conversation with our family while watching a TV show and surfing the web. In our multi-tasking society it’s easy to wonder whether there was ever a time when people lived in the now. Call me a dreamer, but I think it IS possible, and it begins with a donut. Make your way to my office and help yourself to one of four dozen LaMar’s donuts here today courtesy of Paul Savill (donut boy). Yes, they are all crammed into a single box –it seems the attendant was trying to do too much at once—but once you’ve …

Ode to the Spring Donut

Dear Members and Constituents, The grass is greening, songbirds singing. Clear and crisp, blowing brisk, an air of spring is ringing
A three day weekend pleads you, please spend days away in careless play, your soul and mind to mend
To clear fountains in the mountains or a stroll through the mall maybe try to get tan
Before you go, you should know Stacy Jackson went to Waltons watch the donuts flow
So, in closing I’m proposing, get a treat o, so sweet grab a donut, don’t be dozing!

Happy Friday!

Eat The Donuts 1st

Dear Members and Constituents,
The stage is set for a zombie apocalypse. Imagine, if you, will a climate change-induced mile-wide tornado creating devastation in its path. FEMA, strapped for cash and understaffed by the sequester fails to respond in a timely manner. Amid the debris and unbeknownst to most, hydraulic fracturing has released an ancient virus from the bowels of the Earth. A virus which attacks the neo-cortex of the brain, diminishing higher function and creating an insatiable appetite for fresh brains. Crazy, you say? Perhaps. Then again, some are taking this threat more seriously than others. In fact, just this week I was driving behind some folks who have a unique strategy to address this impending crisis. The vanity words “EATTHE” are etched on their “Kids 1st” license plate. Clever. In-fact, the only hole I see in their plan is the assumption Zombies can take subtle hints. Then again, kids do have fresher brains, who knows, it might work.

Of course, if you are not of…

Donut Ransom

Dear Members and Constituents, There is a new villain in the news whose name sounds oddly familiar. The man who held three women hostage in his basement for a decade sounds a lot like the man who has held Cuba hostage for five. I speak, of course, of Cleveland’s own Ariel Castro (although I’m sure the city would like to remove any association with this man). On my drive to work this morning I was trying to craft a poem comparing the two men. By the time I arrived at the office, I had decided against the idea as ill-contrived and altogether wrong. Why focus on these poor excuses for human beings when we could be talking about the goodness of donuts. Rich Law (donut boy) stopped by LaMar’s this morning and delights us with a delicious pastry sampling. So come on down and do your part to help liberate these donuts from the box they’ve been trapped in for who-knows-how-long. You’ll be glad you did. Happy Friday!

A Donut RFC?

Dear Members and Constituents, The Internet –the massive network connecting the world which has forever changed the way we live—is, obviously, built on standards. Not surprisingly, these standards, known as RFCs, govern everything from making a phone call using IP (RFC3261) to how IP addresses are allocated on a private network (RFC1918). What is surprising (to me at least) is the acronym RFC itself. It stands for “Request for Comment.” That’s like calling the rules your children are supposed to abide by “Optional Behavior” or traffic laws “How Are We Doing?” Still, the Internet works well enough. The other day a club member brought RFC1149 to my attention. The grin-inducing “A Standard for the Transmission of IP Datagrams on Avian Carriers” is a couple of pages long and goes to prove some geeks have too much time on their hands. My favorite quote “The carriers [pigeons] have an intrinsic collision avoidance system, which increases availability.” So, how does this apply to donuts? We…

Good Morning Starshine

“The man who reads nothing at all is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers”. –Thomas Jefferson.
Dear Members and Constituents, With all the senselessness and silliness going around, I’ve decided to forgo my regular dose of news programming this week. As a result, it appears I missed-out on the re-introduction of child labor to the workforce. How else do you explain the dozens of pint-sized workers wandering about the halls? It’s like a scene borrowed from the pages of Oliver Twist –sans the squalor and misery. It looks like the investment in child-sized urinals in the men’s room will finally pay-off! With all the extra productivity we should be gaining from our new workers, surely you can find some time to grab a donut. This morning’s selection comes courtesy of Rusty Corne (donut boy) and includes some specialty donuts which could cause folks to spontaneously assemble and sing food glorious food. So come over, bring your daughters or sons, and enjoy a sweet t…

Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Awesomeness

Dear Members and Constituents, All due respect to Thomas Jefferson, I think the declaration of independence was slightly off-target when exemplifying the unalienable rights with which we are endowed. I’m speaking, of course, of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. I see the first two as incontrovertible, but take issue with the third. Happiness is felt and should be savored in the moment. It permeates the being and often comes unannounced when least expected. It comes when you are with loved ones and it comes to those engaged in things they are passionate about. You see, happiness is a byproduct, not something to be pursued. You can pursue your dreams, fame, fortune and the betterment of humanity. You can pursue a passion. You can even pursue a mate. Any of these pursuits may bring you happiness, but pursuing happiness is an empty and futile exercise. I don't suppose you can amend the Declaration of Independence, after all we've been independent for quite a while, but …

Donuholic

Dear Members and Constituents. The other day I saw an Elkaholic bumper sticker on a pick-up truck. Clever, but how did the suffix “holic” come to be associated with addictions? While an alcoholic is addicted to alcohol, a workaholic is not addicted to workahol, nor is a chocoholic addicted to chocohol. If I told you I was a horseholic you would intuitively understand my affinity for equines. What if I told you I sit across from a Tracy Holick? And then there’s donuts. Would you call a donut addict a donuholic? Perhaps not, as this might imply they are addicted to the donut holes. A donutic? I suppose it depends on their fervor. Whatever you choose to be called, Kelly Becker (donut girl) provides a selection worthy of the name. So come nurture your habit. You know you want it. Happy Friday!

Chinese Donuts

Dear Members and Constituents,
As some of you know, I keep a record of these missives on my personal blog. Occasionally, I like to peruse the statistics and wonder about the readers. Where are they? How did they find it? Did they like what they read? Last month, I noticed a 50% spike. A little detective work revealed China was suddenly my largest audience. Wow! Could it be Youtiao fans looking for a rounder delicacy? Folks growing weary of North Korea’s shenanigans? Politicians boning-up on English in preparation for a visit from Australia’s prime minister? Avian flu side-effects? Whatever the case, Google decided this was too much fun and took my blog offline. I figured this could not possibly be censorship and decided to call them. If you’ve never had the need to get ahold of Google, be grateful. I’ll spare you the details, but after a gauntlet of dead-ends and a near-endless sequence of tasks, it’s live again. Finding donuts, on the other hand, is much easier (thanks, in no small p…

Good Fried-Day Donuts

[Posted by Ed Stocker]
Dear Members and Constituents, Kids love Easter egg hunts.  I just don’t see them actually eating a lot of the eggs.  Now, if they are plastic eggs filled with jelly beans or other candy they go down pretty quick. But it’s been my experience that the brightly colored eggs kids race to find and stick in their baskets will largely become deviled eggs before the afternoon meal. 
Looking in on JP’s office this morning I thought I had found the Easter Bunny’s secret stash of these eggs readied for delivery.  Dozens and dozens of them.  Brightly colored and shining in the morning sun.  Then I realized these are no mere Easter eggs, these are Easter Donuts.  I thought about hiding them around the office for our first annual Easter Donut hunt.  Then I thought it would be better to just eat one or two.
Thanks to Donut Boy Eric Jochens for laying four dozen Winchell’s Easter Donuts for us this Good Friday. Happy Easter, Ed

Habemus Donuts!

Dear Members and Constituents, A couple of you expressed disappointment I made no mention of the first American Pope last week, so let me make it up to you. I just realized the last three generations of my family –my dad, myself and my eldest son- have all had a Pope named after us. I’m not saying we were named after sitting Popes, either -that would be cheating. They were named after us –or so we’d like to believe. 1.Juan, my dad, was born during Pius XII's papacy and had Juan XXIII named after him. 2.I was born during Paul VI's papacy and had, not one, but two Juan Pablos (I and II) named after me. 3.My son Francisco was born during John Paul II's papacy and now has Francisco I named after him. Granted, names in my family come from the Catholic repertoire (no Apples, Blue Ivys, Kal-Els or Dweezils in our family tree), still, it’s not like we’re medieval Italian feudal lords who might have any influence on the selection process. Furthermore, there had never before been a…

Donut Humor

Dear Members and Constituents, Stop me if you’ve heard this one before. A donut rolls into a bar and starts drinking like there's no tomorrow. The concerned bartender remarks [Bartender]-You're looking a little glazed-over, maybe you ought to stop. [Donut]-Nah, I'll be o-cake. It’s just my Sweetie pie broke-up with me last night. I think my shape torus apart. Now, I feel like there's a hole at the center of my being. [Bartender]-So that's why you're drinking Bailey’s. You want to be cream filled!
I must admit it sounded much better with the 80's sitcom laugh track in my head. It could've been cruller -get it? Hopefully I got you to crack a smile. But if I didn't there's hope yet. I brought-in five dozen Krispy Kreme's this morning, and that's no joke. Bite into one, I guarantee it will cheer you up. Happy last Friday of the current rotation!

The Circle of Donuts

Dear Members and Constituents, Do you think of things as coming in cycles? Seasons, semesters, sunrises and sunsets. Finding patterns and extracting them to simplify our lives is a very human thing. And, while this approach has served our species well, there is a downside. By focusing on the common denominator we can sometimes lose sight of the uncommon numerator. When I hear people say it’s all been done before or, there’s nothing new under the sun, I feel they’re missing the point. The universe is expanding and time ceaselessly moves forward, so even if you’re watching a T.V. re-run, it’s a different you, in a different place, with a different set of environmental conditions. You may notice different things or find a previously elusive joke suddenly funny.  
So too it is with donuts. We started the current rotation 59 weeks ago, and next week it will come to an end. I will be sending-out new calendar reminders for the new rotation. If there are dates that don’t work for you in the …

Time Flies When You're Having Fun!

Dear Members and Constituents,
It's that time of the year when we all start to wonder: Wow, is March really here? I think there is a blunder!
Time flies, don't you know? Yes, it may sound cliché; though we'd like to move slow, boy, the days fly away.
Seconds, minutes and hours; to days, weeks, months and years. Stubborn time overpowers all the things we hold dear.
So what's your reaction? Fear, longing, regret? Or, taking bold action in the time you have yet?
Be kind, do a favor, indulge in a donut. They’re here, come and savor, Terry Kugler has done it!
Happy Friday!

Donut Legacy

Dear Members and Constituents, What's your legacy?   If you were to be hit by a Meteor tomorrow what would people remember about you? –besides, of course, being the person that got killed by a falling space object. Is it an invention, a heroic act or some culminating achievement? We're not talking history books here. As a practical matter, with over 8 billion people alive today and an estimated 107 Billion ever alive, we can't all be DaVincis, Einsteins or Knievels. Still we can all make a difference in the lives of people around us. Every day we are given a chance to do something, and we ought to make it count. Sometimes I wonder whether the thing I'll be remembered for are these donut missives. So what's yours?  You don't have to answer right now. There's probably still plenty of time. Probably. So come grab a donut, courtesy of Shaun Andrews (donut boy) and think it over. Just don't take too long. You never know what could happen. Happy Friday!

Donuts = Love

Dear Members and Constituents,
What a week. Popeless Monday, Fat Tuesday, Ash Wednesday, Valentine’s Thursday and Donut Friday! With so much fodder for a note this morning, how do you choose one to write about? I was considering tying them all together, when yesterday I had an “aha” moment and decided to go with V-day (after all, isn’t the greatest of these love?). I was texting my wife when I realized the emoticon for love is "less than three" (i.e. < 3). And while it does not specifically call-out “more than one”, the explicit sideways heart carries in it an implicit couple –technically, I suppose it should be 1<ʎ<3 love="" nbsp="" p="" romantic="" where=""> Of course you're going to love the donuts this morning. Patrick Libra makes his debut as donut boy with an impressive selection which includes a dozen specialties, and although there are no heart-shaped donuts, if you hurry you will find a bear claw, a b…

Carnival Donuts

Dear members and constituents Life seems full of contrasts. Some natural, some man-made. Drought in the Southwest, two feet of snow in the Northeast. Famine in Africa, an obesity crisis in the US. Mother Teresa of Calcutta, Adam Lanza of Newtown. This coming week we have Fat Tuesday and Ash Wednesday. The excesses of carnival leading-up to the sacrifices of Lent. As folks work their way to Mardi Gras, the traditional carnival celebrations themselves show a rich diversity. From doubloons and beads to the various escolas de samba to masquerades and balls. The traditions can vary within a country. Did you know only Rio de Janeiro and São Paulo have the escolas de samba? Despite being a tiny country, Ecuador has several regional variances in how the holiday is observed. In Ambato they throw flower petals at you, in Guaranda it’s flour and jelly, whereas in Cuenca the preferred thing to throw your way are water balloons. We also prepare a rich soup called Mote Pata (if you’re curious, you…

Rise and Shine, Donuts are Here!

Dear Members and Constituents, I’m a sucker for sunrises –and sunsets. That magical time when the sun’s rays must traverse through more of our atmosphere to get to us. Long shadows, strong contrasts and exotic colors. Everyday clouds of gray-on-blue turn gold, orange and fuchsia on radioactive green or navy. Imagination is set free to wander magical realms where everything seems possible. I suppose if our planet were to stop spinning around its own axis, that border between day and night would be the only place where life would be possible, somewhere between scorching daytime and frozen night. In such a world, the Goldie Locks zone inhabitants would probably consider their colorful environs ordinary, making treks into daytime to experience the majestic blue and gray skies. As it is, our centrifugal world takes us through day, dusk, night and dawn; all in the comfort of our cozy little existences. All we need to do is open our eyes and enjoy (and, yes, it might require you to go outsi…

Circular Logic

Dear Members and Constituents, Since childhood, I’ve been fascinated by the different shapes which can derive from a circle. Aside from the two dimensional form itself, if you move a circle along a straight line perpendicular to it’s plane you get a cylinder. Connect the circle’s edge to a point perpendicular it’s center and outside it’s plain and you get a cone. Spin the circle on its own axis and you get a sphere. Of course, if you spin the circle around the edge of a circle on another plane you get a torus. This morning Michael Frost makes his debut as donut boy with 42 torus-shaped pastries. Why not 48, you ask? That’s because he’s also brought half-a-dozen specialties. So don’t beat around the bush and come get a treat better than Pi. Happy Friday!

Timbuktu

Dear Members and Constituents, You know the world is getting smaller when the news features a man with an outrageous French accent speaking of marching to Timbuktu. The capital of Mali, whose name had become synonymous with the farthest reaches of the earth, is now headline fodder. France felt it was important enough to defend against a coup d’etat and the Algerians used it as a pretext to stage a hostage crisis. It makes one hopeful US media coverage may be abandoning its ethnocentric roots. Sure we need to hear about what's going on in the country with stories about the proposed mental health parody act (or was that parity?), but it's healthy to also hear about places like Aleppo, Syria -if only to be reminded of atrocities. In the spirit of broadening our horizons Jamie Moyer (donut girl) delights us this morning with a premium Krispy Kreme donut selection, which includes a healthy dose of jelly filled. So come broaden your horizons. Happy Friday!

Waste not, Donut

Dear Members and Constituents, You are probably familiar with the concept of burn rate -the pace at which startups and growing companies burn through cash. But what about individuals? Have you considered your personal burn rate? At a fundamental level, your body is always burning calories, which requires you to buy food. Doctors and Shamans get a cut, and unless you're homeless or living in a feral state, you also need to pay for shelter. Maybe it's rent, maybe it's a mortgage. Even after your mortgage is paid-off, you pay property taxes and utilities. You burn fuel to get to work and if you've ever purchased on credit, you burn cash on interest to creditors who floated your consumption before you could afford it. You purchase roads, protection from bad guys and a safety net with your taxes. In this world of disposable income there is of course travel and entertainment which, in most cases, rounds-out your burn rate.
As a Friday Donut Club member, you also burn about…

Happy New Year!

Dear Members and Constituents,
Happy new year! If you’re like me, you may still be recovering from your New Year's Eve celebration. You see, as some of you already know, Ecuadorian New Year's Eve celebrations are a pretty big deal –and my household has imported most of these traditions for our New Year's Eve party. Above and beyond the ten second countdown and the festive party libations, we have a few other quirky traditions. There's the widow –a man dressed like a woman who pesters bystanders with “mourning” for the old year (her husband) who is about to die. Then there's the reading of the will (chock-full of humorous "inheritances" for guests and relatives). The most visible of these traditions is the Año Viejo (literally "old year"). It's one or more manikins which anthropomorphize the ending year and gets burned at the stroke of midnight. As adults wish each other well and eat 12 grapes to symbolize good fortune, younger folks jumped o…