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0s are Here!

Dear Members and Constituents,
In an age when many kids don't understand why toll-free numbers exist, it seems ironic that a couple of telephone numbers are increasingly being used as words. Just yesterday, I heard a radio station give listeners "the 4-1-1" on upcoming concerts. I’ve also heard folks use “9-1-1” in lieu of “emergency”. I don’t think the goal is expediency, after all, you're only saving a syllable in each case, and the words “info” and “urgent” are both shorter. No, it’s something entirely different –and I think this concept has legs. In-fact, I have a few ideas on how to expand it. Broadcasting stations could have 5-1-1 reporters (traffic), and I can really see the expression "would you like me to 7-1-1 that for you?" (meaning "do I need to repeat myself?") really catching-on with parents. In bars, a girl might tell that guy to whom she just gave her phone number “8-1-1 me” (call before, you dig? –alright, maybe this is going a bit too far). Then again, I‘m not known for treading cautiously. I think that, given the fact no one calls an operator any more, we could use “0” as shorthand for donuts (in reference to their shape). In-fact, 0s have arrived. Doing the honors for the last time is Ben Garrard. On this his swan song at Level 3 he delivers big time with a dozen specialties thrown into the mix. Since it’s technically not an emergency, you should 3-1-1 on down.

Happy Friday!

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