Dear Members and Constituents,
The stage is set for a zombie apocalypse. Imagine, if you, will a climate change-induced mile-wide tornado creating devastation in its path. FEMA, strapped for cash and understaffed by the sequester fails to respond in a timely manner. Amid the debris and unbeknownst to most, hydraulic fracturing has released an ancient virus from the bowels of the Earth. A virus which attacks the neo-cortex of the brain, diminishing higher function and creating an insatiable appetite for fresh brains. Crazy, you say? Perhaps. Then again, some are taking this threat more seriously than others. In fact, just this week I was driving behind some folks who have a unique strategy to address this impending crisis. The vanity words “EATTHE” are etched on their “Kids 1st” license plate. Clever. In-fact, the only hole I see in their plan is the assumption Zombies can take subtle hints. Then again, kids do have fresher brains, who knows, it might work.
Of course, if you are not of the zombie persuasion, boy does Carolyn Reuss have a treat for you. Four dozen fresh LaMar’s donuts. So come stock-up on your favorite treat, who knows when the next opportunity will present itself.