Dear Members and Constituents,
I have been assimilated. All it took was a trip through Wyoming's byways to realize my reliance on technology is approaching the near-symbiotic levels of the Borg (that infamous Star Trek collective). Accessing a subspace channel to reach the Hive (i.e. getting on the Internet) to retrieve directions to the Super Volcano (i.e. Yellowstone National Park) proved to be a frustrating task. Granted, a predictable surprise, after all, cell towers are capital-intensive beasts and tend to be deployed where people congregate. I write you this note, as a marooned castaway crafts a message-in-a-bottle: without the benefit of a thesaurus and with only the hope someone will receive it. I suppose I was in more need of an e-mail cleanse and social media detox than I realized.
Speaking of social media, if you're getting this note, it means Anthony Christie (donut boy and marketer-in-charge) has delivered four dozen delicious donuts. Donuts I can only covet from afar. Unlike me, you are (probably) within walking distance. Lucky you. Enjoy!
P.S. a big "thank you" to Melissa Matthews for stepping-up and sending this note on my behalf.