Skip to main content

A Special Interest in Donuts

Dear Members and Constituents,

JP isn’t with us this morning, his schedule has him traveling across the country meeting with customers and presumably trying exotic new varieties of Donuts.  He has left behind a few words for your consumption this morning along with your weekly donut fix.

According to a recent study by researchers at the University of British Columbia, it costs an average of $145 in campaign spending to sway the average undecided U.S. voter. This same study finds special interest groups get $71 in government subsidies for every dollar in political contributions they make. If you believe these statistics then the average swing voter costs taxpayers $10,295. Talk about high acquisition costs! This also means that if half of our next president’s billion or so dollar campaign spending comes from Special Interests, they should expect to get $35 Billion in taxpayer subsidies –and that’s the presidential race alone. Add congressional races (likely to spend another billion and change) –assume half is spent by the winning side and 75% comes from special interests- and you’re talking $60 Billion. How is this possible, you ask? Simple, that’s less than 2% of the federal government’s 2012 fiscal year budget… a rounding error. Still, like the old sage is reported to have once said: add a billion here and a billion there and pretty soon you’re talking real money.

When dealing with such large quantities, it helps if you provide a frame of reference to put things into perspective. The way I see it, if you were to take this money and invest it in donuts, you could give every man, woman and child in America a free donut every day for an entire year (assuming you can get them for $6.50 a dozen –a conservative estimate for such awesome buying power, if you ask me). Of course, this morning you don’t need any politicians owing you favors to get free donuts. Just come-on over and enjoy one (or more), courtesy of Eric Rosenberg. He makes his debut as donut boy with four dozen delicious specimens form Krispy Kreme. Whether you vote blue, red or green; conservative, liberal or libertarian… come join me. Today we’re all “donutarians”.
Happy Friday!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Donut Hole Alignment

Friends, My predawn attempts to watch the planetary alignment have thus far been met with cloudy skies. The weather forecast through the end of the cosmic event suggests I shall not witness it. And yet, my futile attempts have been rewarded in other ways. The chorus of birds, frogs and insects singing in anticipation of the sun’s glorious rising complement the river’s steady churning. The crisp, fresh air in a desolate town whose citizens are still bidding Morpheus “adieu” caresses my skin while the sweet aroma of petrichor fills my lounges. Deep shadows of centenarian eucalyptus trees slowly recede and give way to the imperceptible progress of the brightening skies. Sure, witnessing those tiny bright spots lined-up in the sky would be pretty cool —like sprinkles on a donut. Speaking of donuts, if you’re ever in Cuenca around the feast of Corpus Christi (which ended yesterday) you need to try the Huevos Chilenos (Chilean Eggs) —think of them as less sweet donut holes. And, if like me t

Donut Doodle Dandy

Dear Members and Constituents, In trying to figure-out Wednesday’s cool-looking Google Doodle ( Jorge Luis Borges’ 112 th birthday ), I stumbled across a list of Google Doodles you’ll never see. This, and a Rockies game later that day, were sufficient inspiration to get my head spinning around what other doodles Google might never noodle? I’m sure you’ll probably have a few ideas of your own, but I was able to come-up with a couple. How about a former Colorado Rockies player whose unfortunate encounter with a moth put him in the news this week? The Matt Holliday doodle might look something like this… Another item which, surprisingly enough, has not been made into a doodle are donuts. Although I was slightly taken aback to find this delicious pastry has not been featured, after the initial disappointment, I decided to take matters into my own hands and take a stab at one (perhaps Google can use it next year for national donut day )… or to celebrate Greek police having “ blown a ho

Donuts Without Borders

Friends, I believe going anywhere in the world (so long as you abide by the local laws) should be a human right. People should be allowed to wander freely (or vote with their feet whenever a government alienates them). In this, I fully support Doctors Without Borders’ decision to no longer accept funding from the EU due to their immigration policies. Good for them! That said borders can be useful. Take, for instance national sports teams. If there were no borders, events like the summer and winter Olympiads would not exist. Closer to home, those of you who follow soccer are probably tuning-in to the hundredth edition of Copa America , currently under way. Last night the quarter final opener featured both of the teams for which I've been rooting. Who do you cheer for when you know only one of your teams will advance? You can't root for both or you risk becoming a dispassionate observer, so, you either pick one or choose to narrate the game in English (i.e. no 100 MPH narra