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Donuts Are Here


[posted by Ed Stocker while JP is out]
Dear Members and Constituents,
If you follow the Denver Broncos (or even if you don’t) you’ve probably heard of Tim Tebow.  He is currently a polarizing figure in the world of professional sports.  Even outside of Denver Tebow remains a hot topic and is frequently discussed on sports radio and ESPN.  Today I wanted us to delve a little deeper into the Tebow debate.  I want to ask, and attempt to answer, the question on everyone’s mind.  If Tim Tebow were a donut, what variety would he be?
  • Glazed – more of an everyday player, always reliable and plentiful, I’m thinking offensive line.
  • Crueler – it’s light and airy, very fast to eat, good tasting but not necessarily filing, maybe a Corner Back.
  • Cake - is nice if that’s your thing, but too heavy for some, more of a Defensive Lineman.
  • Jelly Filled – sweetness but not always what you expect, you may want Strawberry but get a Lemon – has to be a Running Back.
  • Bagel – not a donut, but this is where I see Linebackers fitting in, they may look the same at a distance but they’re just a little bit different.
  • Glazed Donut Holes – small, almost irrelevant, an afterthought to the entire donut making process, did you say Kicker?  Without the glaze is the Punter.
  • Anything with Bright Sprinkles - would be a Wide Receiver, flashy and in your face with lots of attitude and confidence, and you can hear just a little bit of trash talk coming from the box.
  • Long Johns - easily recognizable, usually just a few in a box -  some are cream filled and smooth like an elite Quarterback -  others aren’t filled and they look just as good on the outside but just don’t deliver, like most QBs.
  • Bacon Maple Cream – bacon in a donut?  It sounds just a little insane.  Ever return a punt or a kickoff?  I think we have a match
  • Apple Fritter -  polarizes people., you either love ‘em or hate ‘em, bigger than anything else in the box (and at least as big as your head) but not necessarily what you are looking for in a morning donut, nice to look at but frequently left for the second string; I think we may have found Tim Tebow.

You may have noticed by now JP is out, but that doesn’t mean we can’t swing by his office and grab a donut.  Zach Przybeck make his donut debut today.  Let’s see if he can make the starting line up or if he ends up on the bench. He’s delivered four dozen delicious Lamar’s donuts for your enjoyment.

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