Dear Members and Constituents,
Have you booked your safari to Central Ohio yet? Word on the street is that if you drive I-70 E far enough, there's a large selection of exotic fauna. Grab your assault rifle, put on your orange vest (or police uniform as the case may be) and bag yourself a trophy! But you have to hurry, supplies are limited. Hopefully any PETA members amongst you know me well enough to understand this is all tongue-in-cheek -with a tiger blood and Adonis DNA cocktail chaser.
Speaking of limited supply, there are only four dozen donuts and they're being bagged fast. Today’s supply comes courtesy of Mike Robles, first time donut boy and NRA-certified gun safety trainer. So come get yours (they’ve got holes in them already so you don’t even need to bring your gun).