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Beer Run

Friends, Feeding your newborn granddaughter for the first time is like going for a run after having a beer. You clearly weren’t expecting to do it precisely at that time and quickly realize you may have overestimated your skills. It goes a lot slower than you anticipate. You have to burp several times throughout the process and are never quite sure whether another one is coming. When you’re done, you’re glad you decided to go through with it despite early misgivings. It’s kind of like running after having a few donuts, but with a mild buzz. Happy Friday!
Recent posts

Inspired or Insidious?

Friends, Truly original ideas (good or evil) can be powerful. Once articulated, they take on a life of their own. The best (and worst) of them  carry a sense of inevitability,  can  impact millions of lives and  change the world, for better or worse. Like humidity suspended in a cloud, once these ideas condense, they must be unleashed and soak the earth. Fortunately, the vast majority of ideas don’t reek of destiny. They are mediocre,  unoriginal and largely  unremarkable . Most if not all of the 6,000 thoughts each of us has on any given day are harmless. Like my idea of going out to grab a donut before the day gets too busy. I guess I’ll be on my way before another thought supersedes it and… wait, what was I thinking?  Never mind.  Happy Friday!

Istanbul was Constantinople

Friends, Picture Irina, a Balinese ballerina having a ball at Ball Arena. If you’d seen the same scene at the Pepsi Center, she’d have epilepsy, and less pep as she enters… see? I may be the last person in Colorado to realize the famous venue’s name change — two years too late. Of the two Ball Arena teams, it seems the Nuggets still have hope for a title as they put the Suns underfoot and left their imprint at Footprint Center, to enter round two. A celebration seems in order, and I’m on it. I’ll order a donut. Happy Friday!

Co***y Radio Station

Friends, It’s been a couple of months since Denver’s comedy radio station switched formats to country. I imagine their execs saw similarities beyond the two styles sharing first and last letters. Odd stories to make sad people smile were replaced with sad stories to make odd people smile. Robin Williams with Tim Robbins. Josh Blue with Clint Black. I must admit the advertiser lineup feels eerily unchanged. Perhaps that was the point. I suppose both audiences need drugs, HVAC services and one harmonica-playing financial advisor. In a way it also feels unnatural. Kind of like going from donuts to bagels because they look similar. Still, I’ve kept the preset button on my dial despite the corny deep voiced station identification guy — and the fact the new format has never been my thing. Call it my way of embracing change. With a little bit of chicken fry and cold beer on a Friday night, a pair of jeans that fits just right… Happy Cinco de Friday!

Donut Lose Weight Like This!

Friends, While folks seem unwilling to let anything get in the way of their weight loss goals, would-be weight losers don’t avail themselves of every available option. Take amputation. Losing an arm gets rid of over 5% of your body weight — a leg is nearly 20%! I suppose effectiveness is not the only consideration. There’s cost (surgery is expensive.) There’s safety (Fen-Phen anyone?) There’s inconvenience (exercise and food deprivation are such a hassle.) I suppose that’s why folks are turning to the antidepressant-turned-weight-l oss-sensation Ozempic. And, as an added bonus, it comes with free entertainment, in the form of vivid dreams with weird celebrity interactions. Of course, if you want to lose weight on the cheap, just contract a digestive tract infection. Aside from the frequent bathroom trips, it’s highly effective. Worked for me! Although, on the down side I may have to deprive myself of my usual donut this week. Happy Friday! One of the sights you will see if you​ follow

Rapid Unscheduled Donut Expedition

Friends, I have a new favorite euphemism: "rapid unscheduled disassembly," and I'm dying to try it outside of the SpaceX Starship light show. But where to use it? Bear with me while I try it out... It's not even been three years since the port of Beirut's rapid unscheduled disassembly, so it may be too soon to use it in that context. Well, how about the Death Star? It inflicted a rapid unscheduled disassembly on Alderaan before being subjected to a rapid unscheduled disassembly of its own. Doesn't quite roll off the tongue does it? Maybe if we made it an acronym? RUD? I have an idea! In the long tradition of hand-picking words to fit acronyms, how about we add a word, so it's a "Rapid Unscheduled Disassembly Explosion" (RUDE). I realize the last word defeats the reason the three preceding words were used in the first place, but by putting it in an acronym, you can still avoid saying it. Or you could just say the rocket exploded. But where's t

My Golden Ticket

Friends, I was boarding a plane when it hit me: I had the golden seat! Not literally made out of gold, mind you, but it was 24K. How big was this plane? I don't have enough fingers on my hands to reach K, so I doubted the regional route had somehow ended up with a plane that has 11+ seats per row. As it turns-out my pure gold seat was actually on a plain vanilla 6 seat wide Boeing 737. For some reason, the airline had used the first five letters of the alphabet to label the first five seats in each row but decided to skip F, G, H, I and J and go straight to K. Why the gap? Was it whim? It turns out, according to THE Google, K is the highest letter you would use on the widest planes with 10 seats across (the letter I is skipped because it looks too much like a number 1), so for some airlines the starboard seat is always K. Yes I googled "port vs starboard" so I could use a big word, and yes, I stopped at the Dunkin' in the airport to have a donut. Happy Friday!