Friday Donuts

Dear Members and Constituents, Tumbleweeds roll down office hallways and cobwebs grow rampant on deserted keyboards. Creaking doors and phantom steps accompany us as we reminisce on how quickly yet another year has left us behind. 2011 lays on its death bead, clinging to it’s final seconds of life (just 144K of them left as of 8:00 AM). With many folks enjoying R&R (myself included), the office can become a rather surreal place. On days like this, routines, old habits and traditions can us help restore a sense of normalcy. A stroll to the break room for a coffee, a confident glance at the checklist with all the accomplishments awaiting you today, a quick fifteen minute read of your industry blog of choice. And so it is with donuts. This morning, I have it on good authority that on his debut as donut boy, Mon Miah has delivered an awe-inspiring selection of LaMar’s donuts. Since I’m not there to enjoy them personally, I will have to savor them vicariously through you. They await

Dear Members and Constituents, On this white Christmas Eve’s eve, as work slows-down and thoughts turn to fruit cake and sleigh bells roasting on the open fire, I wish you cheer and peace. May the generosity epitomized by the Indianapolis Colts –who having given away 13 straight games are now working hard to give away their well-deserved first pick in the NFL draft by staging a two game win streak– warm all our hearts and may this type of generosity not spread to the Denver Broncos (who should selfishly cling to their playoff spot). May this new year, which already boasts 20% fewer of the top 20 tyrannical dictators than 2011, overflow with pleasant surprises and the realization of longstanding goals. May we all smile more, be grateful for our families and be surrounded by true friends. May our wealth be counted in positive thoughts others have of us and may poverty, war, famine, disease and untimely death experience a 27.1% reduction in the year to come –granted, outright eradica

Dear Members and Constituents, Last night, after hearing from a friend he might need to re-schedule our lunch today, I indicated that would be fine, of course, and that we should “play it by ear”. His response?  “Play it by ear? Just remember that it takes two to tango, and that when the music stops we don’t want to end this lunch on a bad note J ”. This provided a brilliant insight into the metaphors we use every day. It got me thinking we ought to be deliberate in keeping our analogies in the same realm for any given conversation. I’ve sometimes chuckled to myself when someone mentions we’re on a “fourth down and long situation” and we therefore need to “knock this one out of the park” (to which I’m tempted to respond, “don’t you mean this is the bottom of the ninth so we need to push it over the goal line?”). Bottom line (accounting), once you pull an analogy out of the bag (magic), be prepared to stay in the same domain (feudal politics?). If you speak of someone as being a dia

Dear Members and Constituents, I think it's time for some new business expressions. Let's come-up with some new clichés to replace the old clichés –just to mix-it-up a bit. Here are just a few to get us started: When someone goes off-topic, how about instead of saying “we're going down a rat hole”, you use "we're engaging in rodent dwelling exploration" When an idea does not have any merit, rather than saying it's a nonstarter, call it a Kyle Orton –for those of you who don't follow football, Kyle is no longer the starting quarterback for the Denver Broncos When exploring a new idea, rather than saying "my hypotheses is" how about we use " this may be more akin to a novel than a biography, however…” When someone's reasoning is flawed, rather than calling it a circular reference, tell them their logic has the topology of a donut –which works on two levels, addressing circularity as well as gaps Which brings us, of cou

Dear Members and Constituents, Sometimes, two rather disparate ideas can become entangled by the words we use to express them. Not sure what I mean? Let me illustrate. This week, American Airlines declared bankruptcy,  meanwhile a credit rating agency kept American debt at the highest ranking A documentary about the first American to hike an 8,000 meter mountain in the winter calls-out there are only fourteen of those. Nearly twice the height of all the fourteeners we are so fond of speaking of in Colorado (even though we don’t like to hike them in the winter)  President Obama has already visited more Swing states than any prior president. In unrelated news, he has also started talking about the possibility of an AIDS -free generation an affliction, one would presume, affects Swingers disproportionately. (Now if only we could get a quote from one of the President’s aids on the campaign trail, we’d have a double word entanglement)  U.S. relations with Paki stan are strained after