Friday Donuts

Friends, Fitness trackers have a long history of raising privacy concerns. Whether it’s Strava giving away secret army base locations, or bad actors sniffing your smart watch’s Bluetooth connection to guess your smartphone PIN, these devices exude Big Brother vibes. While most go out of their way to allay fears, Ōura has apparently decided to embrace this dark legacy. Marketing their device as “the one ring to track it all,” they echo a stanza from JRR Tolkien’s Ring Verse –referencing Sauron’s one ring. If you’re going that direction, don’t just tease, embrace! Amazon Prime’s new series set in Middle Earth, The Rings of Power, feels like a great co-marketing opportunity. They could also name their premium models Narya, Nenya and Vilya —the three elven rings of power— and create a cheap model, the Nazgul —for Ringwraiths. Of course, we all know the only ring capable of conferring power —or at least a short-lived sugar high— is the donut. So, grab a deep fried dough ring and harness the

Friends, Industry analysts are fond of 2x2 matrices. From ability to execute vs. vision (Gartner Magic Quadrant) to current offering vs. strength of strategy (Forester Wave) to capability vs. customer experience (Omdia —FKA Ovum—Universe), a simple two variable graph is a great way to compare products, services, and companies. Lately, I’ve been wondering how one might rate donut providers on one of these matrices. Unfortunately, borrowing variables used to compare tech products is like trying to fit a round donut in a square quadrant. Vision and strategy are somewhat rarified variables for a deep-fried pastry and, while ability to execute and customer experience matter, these should be table stakes for a mature offering. So, what variables would you use? Convenience? (a scale from “what a drag” to “that was easy!”). Taste? (“dull” to “delicious”). I believe that when it comes to donut shops, whether it be a national chain or a local mom-and-pop, the two variables that matter most are q

Friends, You know life is good when even dinner smiles at you. That said, digging into smiley soup can pose a dilemma. At a conscious level, you know it’s just inert food. Inanimate, unsentient, incapable of emotion or feeling. Still, those cute cross eyed egg eyes and that little pepper smile are saying ”I’m your friend” —and friends don’t eat friends. Naming your anthropomorphic dish only makes matters worse. Eventually, being the monster I am, hunger wins. Mmmm, delicious! (Sorry, Sally). Speaking of which, maybe skip the smiley faces on that next dozen donuts. Happy Friday! ;-)

Friends, State of mind is a big part of experience. It’s the difference between exercise (a leisurely run) and torture (a forced march). The way I see it, fifteen minutes can be a fleeting moment or an endless purgatory. “Are we there yet?” and “Wow, check that out!” carpool. Dreadful and delightful share a beginning and end; it’s what happens in between your eardrums that colors the experience. One man’s eye sore is another’s modern art. So, where’s your head at? Is that donut a calorie laden health risk or a delicious part of a varied diet? You decide. "Why did I have to choose the red eye?" or "Look, a beautiful sunrise!" Happy Friday!