One Donut to Rule Them All

Friends,

Fitness trackers have a long history of raising privacy concerns. Whether it’s Strava giving away secret army base locations, or bad actors sniffing your smart watch’s Bluetooth connection to guess your smartphone PIN, these devices exude Big Brother vibes. While most go out of their way to allay fears, Ōura has apparently decided to embrace this dark legacy. Marketing their device as “the one ring to track it all,” they echo a stanza from JRR Tolkien’s Ring Verse –referencing Sauron’s one ring. If you’re going that direction, don’t just tease, embrace! Amazon Prime’s new series set in Middle Earth, The Rings of Power, feels like a great co-marketing opportunity. They could also name their premium models Narya, Nenya and Vilya —the three elven rings of power— and create a cheap model, the Nazgul —for Ringwraiths. Of course, we all know the only ring capable of conferring power —or at least a short-lived sugar high— is the donut. So, grab a deep fried dough ring and harness the power!

Ads I've been presented this week —which may, or may not, be slightly doctored...

Happy Friday!

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BIrds of a Feather

Friends, The early bird catches the worm, however, as the sun rises I’d much rather have a Denver omelet than a diet of worms . Ready to fly the coop, my ducks all in a row, I ponder one more time whether a bird in hand is truly worth two in the bush. Egged-on by my quest to tuck away a nest egg, I’ve decided to change industries and hope that, like the phoenix, my career will also rise from the ashes of change. After all, I’m no spring chicken –my crow’s feet and gray bely my age – however, I have to trust my judgment and believe you can’t catch this old bird with chaff (whether or not folks think me an odd bird for my actions). And so I shall attempt to soar like an eagle, aware that counting my chickens before they hatch would be ill-advised. As I learn to talk turkey in the language of cybersecurity, I will endeavor not to hide my head in the sand, choosing instead to be like a duck – calm on the surface and paddle like hell underneath! And while my excessive use of bird-inspired

Ashes to Ashes

Friends, I don’t know about you, but my household tends to use things a tad beyond their reasonably useful life. Cars, razors, pillows... heck, we squeezed the last BTU out of our home’s 25 year old thermostat —15 years is for rookies. This week we bid our fire pit farewell. Structurally unstable and rusted to the core, this contrivance was well on its way to returning to the soil. Memories of s’mores, cigars and shared spirits come rushing back, as does the six foot tall cardboard peach burned atop it, which caused the first stress fractures in the waning days of 2019. Good times! I suppose nothing lasts forever, but memories can add a sense of permanence to the fleeting. So go, grab a donut and make some new memories!! Happy Friday!

To an end to Covid Games

Friends, As 2021 comes to an end, it’s time to remember and be grateful for another year of life – there’s much for which to be grateful. Sure, some things could have gone better (they always can), but on balance things were good. At the González household, the cathartic process of capturing this year’s essence to burn at midnight is wrapping-up. This year’s theme, “Covid Games from home” uses Squid games (Netflix’s unlikely breakaway hit) as a way to mock the two main Covid variants of concern (Delta and Omicron) and commiserate about working from home with all the weirdness it carries along. Comfy slippers combined with dressing-up from the waist up for zoom meetings (not to mention the quarantine fifteen). As I hope for lots of snow and no wind (lest we need to call an audible on the midnight burn) my thoughts turn to my friends in Boulder county and hopes for a quick recovery. May 2022 bring an end to confinement and lots of opportunities to share donuts. Happy Friday!

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