One Donut to Rule Them All

Friends,

Fitness trackers have a long history of raising privacy concerns. Whether it’s Strava giving away secret army base locations, or bad actors sniffing your smart watch’s Bluetooth connection to guess your smartphone PIN, these devices exude Big Brother vibes. While most go out of their way to allay fears, Ōura has apparently decided to embrace this dark legacy. Marketing their device as “the one ring to track it all,” they echo a stanza from JRR Tolkien’s Ring Verse –referencing Sauron’s one ring. If you’re going that direction, don’t just tease, embrace! Amazon Prime’s new series set in Middle Earth, The Rings of Power, feels like a great co-marketing opportunity. They could also name their premium models Narya, Nenya and Vilya —the three elven rings of power— and create a cheap model, the Nazgul —for Ringwraiths. Of course, we all know the only ring capable of conferring power —or at least a short-lived sugar high— is the donut. So, grab a deep fried dough ring and harness the power!

Ads I've been presented this week —which may, or may not, be slightly doctored...

Happy Friday!

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BIrds of a Feather

Friends, The early bird catches the worm, however, as the sun rises I’d much rather have a Denver omelet than a diet of worms . Ready to fly the coop, my ducks all in a row, I ponder one more time whether a bird in hand is truly worth two in the bush. Egged-on by my quest to tuck away a nest egg, I’ve decided to change industries and hope that, like the phoenix, my career will also rise from the ashes of change. After all, I’m no spring chicken –my crow’s feet and gray bely my age – however, I have to trust my judgment and believe you can’t catch this old bird with chaff (whether or not folks think me an odd bird for my actions). And so I shall attempt to soar like an eagle, aware that counting my chickens before they hatch would be ill-advised. As I learn to talk turkey in the language of cybersecurity, I will endeavor not to hide my head in the sand, choosing instead to be like a duck – calm on the surface and paddle like hell underneath! And while my excessive use of bird-inspired

Love and Marriage go together like a Horse and... Donut!

Friends, My family gained a new daughter last week. As I welcome the freshly minted Mrs. González, I wish the new couple a lasting, loving, happy and tranquil marriage. I am also reminded of a special delivery I received at the wedding. A few weeks ago, my niece/goddaughter held a “go fund me” and offered to stitch something for the donors. I, of corse, asked for a horse jumping through a donut. The completed masterpiece depicting this unlikely combo now has a special place in my office, and brings a smile to my face every time I see it. That said, I may forgo the obligatory donut today and opt for some of the leftover cake we still have at the house. Happy Friday! New addition to the Family Horse through donut with the artist Horse through donut at it’s new home shelf P.S. The donut wall in action.

Life is Smiling!

Friends, You know life is good when even dinner smiles at you. That said, digging into smiley soup can pose a dilemma. At a conscious level, you know it’s just inert food. Inanimate, unsentient, incapable of emotion or feeling. Still, those cute cross eyed egg eyes and that little pepper smile are saying ”I’m your friend” —and friends don’t eat friends. Naming your anthropomorphic dish only makes matters worse. Eventually, being the monster I am, hunger wins. Mmmm, delicious! (Sorry, Sally). Speaking of which, maybe skip the smiley faces on that next dozen donuts. Happy Friday! ;-)

Friday Donuts

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