One Donut to Rule Them All

Friends,

Fitness trackers have a long history of raising privacy concerns. Whether it’s Strava giving away secret army base locations, or bad actors sniffing your smart watch’s Bluetooth connection to guess your smartphone PIN, these devices exude Big Brother vibes. While most go out of their way to allay fears, Ōura has apparently decided to embrace this dark legacy. Marketing their device as “the one ring to track it all,” they echo a stanza from JRR Tolkien’s Ring Verse –referencing Sauron’s one ring. If you’re going that direction, don’t just tease, embrace! Amazon Prime’s new series set in Middle Earth, The Rings of Power, feels like a great co-marketing opportunity. They could also name their premium models Narya, Nenya and Vilya —the three elven rings of power— and create a cheap model, the Nazgul —for Ringwraiths. Of course, we all know the only ring capable of conferring power —or at least a short-lived sugar high— is the donut. So, grab a deep fried dough ring and harness the power!

Ads I've been presented this week —which may, or may not, be slightly doctored...

Happy Friday!

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Donut Hole Alignment

Friends, My predawn attempts to watch the planetary alignment have thus far been met with cloudy skies. The weather forecast through the end of the cosmic event suggests I shall not witness it. And yet, my futile attempts have been rewarded in other ways. The chorus of birds, frogs and insects singing in anticipation of the sun’s glorious rising complement the river’s steady churning. The crisp, fresh air in a desolate town whose citizens are still bidding Morpheus “adieu” caresses my skin while the sweet aroma of petrichor fills my lounges. Deep shadows of centenarian eucalyptus trees slowly recede and give way to the imperceptible progress of the brightening skies. Sure, witnessing those tiny bright spots lined-up in the sky would be pretty cool —like sprinkles on a donut. Speaking of donuts, if you’re ever in Cuenca around the feast of Corpus Christi (which ended yesterday) you need to try the Huevos Chilenos (Chilean Eggs) —think of them as less sweet donut holes. And, if like me t

Donuts Without Borders

Friends, I believe going anywhere in the world (so long as you abide by the local laws) should be a human right. People should be allowed to wander freely (or vote with their feet whenever a government alienates them). In this, I fully support Doctors Without Borders’ decision to no longer accept funding from the EU due to their immigration policies. Good for them! That said borders can be useful. Take, for instance national sports teams. If there were no borders, events like the summer and winter Olympiads would not exist. Closer to home, those of you who follow soccer are probably tuning-in to the hundredth edition of Copa America , currently under way. Last night the quarter final opener featured both of the teams for which I've been rooting. Who do you cheer for when you know only one of your teams will advance? You can't root for both or you risk becoming a dispassionate observer, so, you either pick one or choose to narrate the game in English (i.e. no 100 MPH narra

Aah-woooooo-some Donuts

Friends, The weekend is upon us; time to relax your inhibitions and howl at the moon (or bark , if your name is Ozzy). Skies should clear-up by 7 PM, revealing the wolf moon —January’s full moon. For extra effect, you could go to Moffat county in northwest Colorado, where a pack of wolves has set-up shop for the first time in seven decades. Or, there’s Canada, where gray wolves never left (I suspect that’s why Meghan left Harry alone with his bombshell). Of course, if you’re feeling really brave, you can go to Chicago, where they had two coyote attacks on Wednesday. In addition to howls, you might get some other sounds in the wide coyote repertoire , including huffs, yips and barks —which should satisfy even Mr. Osborne. I think I’ll put on my wolf hat and go stock-up for tonight. Some bear claws feel appropriate. Happy Friday!

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