A Case for the Media's Obsession with Donuts

Dear Members and Constituents,
I've been keeping myself fairly insulated from world events over the past few weeks. Avoiding news media and their sensationalism has been refreshing, however, when I heard Sarah Palin had apparently given a rousing speech on Wednesday, I thought I'd find out who this Sarah Palin was and what else I've been missing-out on. What I found increased my appetite (literally, more than figuratively). Maybe it's the fact that today is Friday and I have only one thing on my mind. Maybe, just maybe, the news are peppered with subliminal donut messages. Here are a few that struck me:

Chrome: Google's new browser with a comic book instruction manual. Don't tell me the application's colorful icon does not remind you of a donut.
Cosmic Ghost: A Dutch grade school teacher discovered an unknown cosmic object -- probably a cloud of hot gas punctured by a central hole 16,000 light years across and illuminated by the "dying embers" of a nearby quasar. Now that's one big donut hole!
Hanna: Satellite pictures of the tropical storm remind me of... yes, you guessed it.
Putin: Shooting at a rare Ussuri tiger [with a tranquilizer gun] to put a [donut-shaped] radio collar on it.
0-0: The score for the second half of last night's Giants - Red Skins game. Two donuts would have been far more rewarding.

Speaking of mass media, for those of you near a TV this coming Wednesday morning, here's a tip from Mack Greene: check out The Travel Channel at 9am. One hour of non-stop donuts... now if only we had a way of transmitting smells and flavors. Fortunately, donuts have arrived and all you need to get the full donut experience is come to my desk, where David Panzer has gently set four dozen sweet LaMar's treats.
Happy Friday!

Comments

Happy New Year!

Friends, Happy new year (and, technically, still Friday). As many of you know, my household has a peculiar way of ringing-in the new year. We build effigies representing the old year and burn them at midnight. This year, although we made the tough call of canceling the accompanying annual party, I felt it was important to go ahead with the burning. The theme, of course, was CoVid. My kids and I developed a dozen mutations of the virus and staged them in our backyard. Then, at a quarter ‘till midnight, we proceeded to read the old year’s last will and testament (or, as might be expected for a year like this, an un-will and un-testament). Shortly thereafter they were summarily burned. We then proceeded to stay up way past my bedtime (which in part helps explain the unusual tardiness of my weekly note). In any event a couple of donuts and a day of rest have got me back to my old self. By the way, I’ve posted a public video of the Facebook live stream event on Facebook. Key markers on

THE Oasis

Friends, The book Ready Player One sent me down memory lane this week. The journey was not triggered by the author’s excessive references to the 1980s, which border on obsessive. Rather, it was the name of the massive virtual reality simulation used by characters in this dystopian future to escape their grim surroundings: The OASIS. You see, that was also the name of my grandfather’s country estate, the setting where a disproportionate share of my treasured childhood memories were created. La Quinta Oasis was a bucolic old whitewashed house with a massive stone staircase, three foot thick adobe walls and wooden window shutters that, when closed at night, would submerge the residence in pitch darkness. With no running water, electricity, phone or indoor plumbing, the only modern convenience was the battery transistor radio on which my uncles would listen to “Chucho el Roto”, a radio soap opera. The Spanish fighting roosters crowed long before sunrise, making it difficult to fall back

Accidental Culinary Innovations

Friends, Have you ever inadvertently fermented spaghetti sauce? Yeah, me neither… until yesterday, that is! Imagine my surprise when the half-full bottle, sitting in the fridge from time immemorial, made a sound akin to opening a beer bottle, instantly filling the glass container with a hazy smoke. As the carbonation dissipated, I grabbed a spoon to conduct the obligatory taste test. How was it? I’m glad you asked! Let’s just say chunky carbonated tomato beer is not my thing (although I must admit that if I had been expecting it, my reaction might have been a little more… composed). Now, if you forgo the fermentation and switch the tomato paste with spicy salsa… that might be the next million dollar idea! Sparkling sriracha anyone? How about Carbonated Cholula? Bubbly Habanero? Fizzy Jalapeño?? I could go on, but I have a feeling Gassy Guac might not fly off the shelves. Now, if only I could stumble on a way to improve donuts. Carbonated Jelly filling… yeah, maybe not. I think I’ll

Friday Donuts

Search This Blog