Skip to main content

A Case for the Media's Obsession with Donuts

Dear Members and Constituents,
I've been keeping myself fairly insulated from world events over the past few weeks. Avoiding news media and their sensationalism has been refreshing, however, when I heard Sarah Palin had apparently given a rousing speech on Wednesday, I thought I'd find out who this Sarah Palin was and what else I've been missing-out on. What I found increased my appetite (literally, more than figuratively). Maybe it's the fact that today is Friday and I have only one thing on my mind. Maybe, just maybe, the news are peppered with subliminal donut messages. Here are a few that struck me:
  • Chrome: Google's new browser with a comic book instruction manual. Don't tell me the application's colorful icon does not remind you of a donut.
  • Cosmic Ghost: A Dutch grade school teacher discovered an unknown cosmic object -- probably a cloud of hot gas punctured by a central hole 16,000 light years across and illuminated by the "dying embers" of a nearby quasar. Now that's one big donut hole!
  • Hanna: Satellite pictures of the tropical storm remind me of... yes, you guessed it.
  • Putin: Shooting at a rare Ussuri tiger [with a tranquilizer gun] to put a [donut-shaped] radio collar on it.
  • 0-0: The score for the second half of last night's Giants - Red Skins game. Two donuts would have been far more rewarding.

Speaking of mass media, for those of you near a TV this coming Wednesday morning, here's a tip from Mack Greene: check out The Travel Channel at 9am. One hour of non-stop donuts... now if only we had a way of transmitting smells and flavors. Fortunately, donuts have arrived and all you need to get the full donut experience is come to my desk, where David Panzer has gently set four dozen sweet LaMar's treats.
Happy Friday!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Donut Doodle Dandy

Dear Members and Constituents, In trying to figure-out Wednesday’s cool-looking Google Doodle ( Jorge Luis Borges’ 112 th birthday ), I stumbled across a list of Google Doodles you’ll never see. This, and a Rockies game later that day, were sufficient inspiration to get my head spinning around what other doodles Google might never noodle? I’m sure you’ll probably have a few ideas of your own, but I was able to come-up with a couple. How about a former Colorado Rockies player whose unfortunate encounter with a moth put him in the news this week? The Matt Holliday doodle might look something like this… Another item which, surprisingly enough, has not been made into a doodle are donuts. Although I was slightly taken aback to find this delicious pastry has not been featured, after the initial disappointment, I decided to take matters into my own hands and take a stab at one (perhaps Google can use it next year for national donut day )… or to celebrate Greek police having “ blown a ho...

Donut Hole Alignment

Friends, My predawn attempts to watch the planetary alignment have thus far been met with cloudy skies. The weather forecast through the end of the cosmic event suggests I shall not witness it. And yet, my futile attempts have been rewarded in other ways. The chorus of birds, frogs and insects singing in anticipation of the sun’s glorious rising complement the river’s steady churning. The crisp, fresh air in a desolate town whose citizens are still bidding Morpheus “adieu” caresses my skin while the sweet aroma of petrichor fills my lounges. Deep shadows of centenarian eucalyptus trees slowly recede and give way to the imperceptible progress of the brightening skies. Sure, witnessing those tiny bright spots lined-up in the sky would be pretty cool —like sprinkles on a donut. Speaking of donuts, if you’re ever in Cuenca around the feast of Corpus Christi (which ended yesterday) you need to try the Huevos Chilenos (Chilean Eggs) —think of them as less sweet donut holes. And, if like me t...

Where in the world is Kate Middleton?

Friends, There’s a perfect storm brewing and I’m not talking about the massive amount of snow falling over the Denver area. I’m referring to the mixing of two highly reactive ingredients. On one hand Kate, princess of Wales, absent from the public limelight following her mysterious surgery allegedly posted a clumsily edited photo. On the other “swifties”, whose penchant for following mysterious clues left behind by Ms. Swift has been in need of a new challenge due to a break in Taylor’s schedule. The poor handling of royal communications followed by the ensuing wild speculation by the hoards of bored gen Zers has been fun to watch. Is she horribly disfigured? Is she leaving William? Is she dead? While the truth is probably more mundane (she’s convalescing), conspiracy theories are so much more fun. And, since all one really needs is a fig leaf of plausibility to create one, I’d like to fabricate my own: I believe Catherine had a compliance chip implanted against her will. The chip’s pu...