Some Serious Donuts have Arrived

Dear Members and Constituents,
There appear to be a lot of folks out there taking themselves a bit too seriously these days. The leaders at the G-20 summit in London. Serious. The protesters outside. Serious. The pundits reading between the lines. Serious. The satellite radio company. Sirius. Heck, even the NY Yankees are debuting a $1.5 Billion stadium this year, full of granite coverings and themselves. That's some serious spending on a pastime (even if it is the national pastime). Seriously, a lot of serial seriousness going on out there. Something needs to be done to counter-balance the somber mood, and I know just the thing. It's infantile, immature and unproductive. No, I'm not talking about about that co-worker who keeps sending you chain e-mails. I'm talking about yo' mama jokes. You know what I'm talkin' about. Picture in your mind's eye a ghetto scene with two kids going back and forth indulging in this offbeat, off color, offensive humor. Are you ready?

Yo' mama so fat, her friends call her Jelly Donut!
Yo' mama so stupid, she returned a donut because it had a hole in it!
Well, yo' mama so fat her cellulite looks like an apple fritter
Yo' mama so gluttonous the only bar she hangs by is a maple bar

OK, so maybe my jokes are corny and, yes, maybe "gluttonous" is not a widely used term in the ghetto. Fortunately, Rusty Corne takes his responsibility as donut boy very seriously this morning, ensuring a LaMar's donut for every taste is here (yes, even my infantile desire for a Bavarian Cream has been fulfilled). So, don't make me go out and drag you down to my desk.

Happy Friday!

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Donut Doodle Dandy

Dear Members and Constituents, In trying to figure-out Wednesday’s cool-looking Google Doodle ( Jorge Luis Borges’ 112 th birthday ), I stumbled across a list of Google Doodles you’ll never see. This, and a Rockies game later that day, were sufficient inspiration to get my head spinning around what other doodles Google might never noodle? I’m sure you’ll probably have a few ideas of your own, but I was able to come-up with a couple. How about a former Colorado Rockies player whose unfortunate encounter with a moth put him in the news this week? The Matt Holliday doodle might look something like this… Another item which, surprisingly enough, has not been made into a doodle are donuts. Although I was slightly taken aback to find this delicious pastry has not been featured, after the initial disappointment, I decided to take matters into my own hands and take a stab at one (perhaps Google can use it next year for national donut day )… or to celebrate Greek police having “ blown a ho...

Gilding the Donut

Friends, Despite writing about donuts (sort of) for over 20 years, I don’t believe in sugar coating, after all, honesty is the best policy. Gilding, on the other hand I’m good with. Take the church of the Society of Jesus in Quito, (AKA La Compañía). Built in fits and starts between 1597 and 1765, the volcanic rock baroque facade conceals a spectacular interior. I had the chance to go inside this week and although I had heard about the gold leaf work inside, the descriptions had not done it justice. The details from floor to ceiling transport you to another world, perhaps that’s the point. If you’re ever there, be sure to visit. And while you’re there stop by one of the many panaderías … if you’re lucky they might even have a donut. Happy Friday!

The Wrong Word

Friends, Do you ever find yourself starting to say a word, realizing it’s the wrong choice and trying to change it while speaking — making it worse? For me, it’s happened more times than I care to admit. A recurring faux pas for me occurs at the part of the mass where the congregation says “when we eat this bread and drink this cup we proclaim your death, o Lord, until you come again”. For some reason my brain wants to say “profess” instead of “proclaim” — which would essentially mean the same thing. Unfortunately, in my clumsy attempts to fix my mistake mid-word, what comes out sounds like “profane” — totally the wrong vibe. Good thing the entire congregation is saying the same thing in unison. If someone heard me they might think the priest was consecrating a donut, instead of the host. Happy Friday!

Friday Donuts

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