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Donut Shop Training Manual

Dear Members and Constituents,
When it comes to training, I think there are some universal lesssons to be gleamed from a donut shop employee handbook. If you were not already convinced about the donut's universal appeal, I think these words of wisdom might bring you over to the sweet side of the force. Here are a few taken at random.
  • When presenting reports to management you should procure to represent the bar charts as long johns
  • Under no circumstances (even if dared by another employee) put your hand in the deep fryer
  • To be succesful, you must be familiar with our entire portfolio of donuts. We encourage all our employees to consume as much of our product as possible -on us
  • The question "paper or plastic" has too many syllables. Instead try "cake or glazed"
  • Thou shallt not fritter away the day nor shalt thou throw away apple fritters, they keep for weeks
  • Donuts make people happy. Their absence has been known to, in some exteme cases, be the cause of widespread panic, looting and destruction. It is therefore imperative that our business continuity and disaster recovery procedures be followed to the letter
This week Ben Garrard (BC/DR donut boy) takes heed of this last piece of advice, filling-in for Monisha Merchant, who realized too late it's hard to find a donut shop in Lisbon (not to mention the commute). So, there is no need for you to smash or burn anything down. They're here. Come and get yours.
Happy Friday!

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