Skip to main content

State of the Donut

Dear Members and Constituents,
As I listened to the state of the union address this week and tried to chew on the quick barrage of media bites, one got stuck between my teeth. “We need to out-innovate, out-educate, andAdd Image out-build the rest of the world.” There appears to be a deliberate asymmetry about this statement which feels off. All three actions start with the word “out”, but only two of them have three syllables and rhyme. Out-fabricate would have met these criteria for the third, but I presume it was ruled-out as too cutesy. Out-make does not have the three syllable word, it adds an imperfect rhyming sound, but I presume it’s not macho enough. I suppose “build” has such a different sound that the abrupt end to this string of words makes it less ignorable. I have paid no attention to the follow-up press coverage so I’m not sure whether the sound bite lived-up to it’s ultimate intent (to be eaten-up by the media). Another thought that crossed my mind was to wonder how Friday Donut Club state of the union address would sound. I suppose it would have to go something like…

This morning I would like to begin by congratulating the men and women of the Friday Donut Club. Our scrawny band of fried dough aficionados has continued to exhibit the attributes which have made the United States a great nation.
Our club’s strength comes from the diversity of it’s fifty members. We span nine pods, three buildings and eight functional areas. It should come as no surprise to you that 48% of our members are not in product management and 46% are not in 32C. While our diversity goal could be greater (we should aspire to have members in building 1000 –it’s not enough to have former members there as well as current members who were formerly in that building), we should also be proud of where we are. Our club is strong and you should be proud to be part of it.Short and sweet… like our donuts. Speaking of donuts, this morning Rich Law delights us with four dozen delicious LaMar’s. This morning, I challenge you to out-create, out-caffeinate and out-donut your peers.

Happy Friday!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Happy New Year!

  Friends, Happy new year (and, technically, still Friday). As many of you know, my household has a peculiar way of ringing-in the new year. We build effigies representing the old year and burn them at midnight. This year, although we made the tough call of canceling the accompanying annual party, I felt it was important to go ahead with the burning. The theme, of course, was CoVid. My kids and I developed a dozen mutations of the virus and staged them in our backyard. Then, at a quarter ‘till midnight, we proceeded to read the old year’s last will and testament (or, as might be expected for a year like this, an un-will and un-testament). Shortly thereafter they were summarily burned. We then proceeded to stay up way past my bedtime (which in part helps explain the unusual tardiness of my weekly note). In any event a couple of donuts and a day of rest have got me back to my old self. By the way, I’ve posted a public video of the Facebook live stream event on Facebook. Key markers on

THE Oasis

Friends, The book  Ready Player One  sent me down memory lane this week. The journey was not triggered by the author’s excessive references to the 1980s, which border on obsessive. Rather, it was the name of the massive virtual reality simulation used by characters in this dystopian future to escape their grim surroundings: The OASIS. You see, that was also the name of my grandfather’s country estate, the setting where a disproportionate share of my treasured childhood memories were created.  La Quinta Oasis was a bucolic old whitewashed house with a massive stone staircase, three foot thick adobe walls and wooden window shutters that, when closed at night, would submerge the residence in pitch darkness. With no running water, electricity, phone or indoor plumbing, the only modern convenience was the battery transistor radio on which my uncles would listen to “Chucho el Roto”, a radio soap opera. The Spanish fighting roosters crowed long before sunrise, making it difficult to fall back

Accidental Culinary Innovations

Friends, Have you ever inadvertently fermented spaghetti sauce? Yeah, me neither… until yesterday, that is! Imagine my surprise when the half-full bottle, sitting in the fridge from time immemorial, made a sound akin to opening a beer bottle, instantly filling the glass container with a hazy smoke. As the carbonation dissipated, I grabbed a spoon to conduct the obligatory taste test. How was it? I’m glad you asked! Let’s just say chunky carbonated tomato beer is not my thing (although I must admit that if I had been expecting it, my reaction might have been a little more… composed). Now, if you forgo the fermentation and switch the tomato paste with spicy salsa… that might be the next million dollar idea! Sparkling sriracha anyone? How about Carbonated Cholula?   Bubbly Habanero? Fizzy JalapeƱo?? I could go on, but I have a feeling Gassy Guac might not fly off the shelves. Now, if only I could stumble on a way to improve donuts. Carbonated Jelly filling… yeah, maybe not. I think I’ll