Skip to main content

Visit us for Donuts

Dear Members and Constituents,
How do large companies prevent employees from using the visitor parking? The answer is not as straightforward you’d expect. Granted, clearly marking the spots is a good start, but what of enforcement? Security may have police aspirations, but they have no real power. Compounding the problem, false positives could upset vendors –or worse, customers… so you issue official-looking threats on paper.
This morning we explore this question, thanks to Anne Claeys, who was kind enough to share her experiences –and ticket– with me. Having flown-in from Rochester, this employee parked her rental in visitor parking. Consider the following, if you will:
  • She is based out-of-town, so technically, one could argue she is visiting
  • She does not have a Parking Permit, so she can’t very well park in the employee parking (and getting a permit for such a short period of time seems wasteful). Furthermore, the car for which she would get the permit is a rental.
  • The ticket she received is for a “Second Violation”. One can only presume the previous renter got a ticket… and the next will get towed.
  • It has no date, so you could use this ticket to prevent future ticketing. Put it on your dashboard and, presto, the ticket issuer can only presume your violation has already been catalogued. That is unless, of course, there is a color code… if canary yellow is the Wednesday color, the security guard’s suspicions would be raised by the fact your ticket is not lime green (presumably Friday’s color).
  • The citation has no identifying information, so what's to stop me from going to the visitor parking, getting a ticket and putting it on somebody's else's windshield, just for laughs.

With all these flaws I can't help but wonder why the system is still around. Might I make a suggestion? Instead of a threatening note, why not put a friendly reminder? Who knows, you might even accompany it with a donut? –which would make that security guard look even more like a police officer. Of course, that might create a perverse incentive to park where you shouldn't. So, having determined the likelihood of you getting donuts by parking in a visitor spot is slim to none, why not come to my desk instead. Rusty Corne (donut boy) delights us with four dozen extra-large LaMars donuts. Rest assured, your visit will be most welcome.
Happy Friday!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Family and Friends

Friends,
I’m trying to maximize the time I spend with friends and family while in Ecuador. My dad had nine siblings, my wife’s dad 15. As you might imagine, my cousins and their families are fairly numerous (despite the fact five of my dad’s brothers didn’t marry or have children). Then there’s my wife’s family and my childhood friends. Needless to say, there is never enough time to see everyone, despite a valiant effort. Of course, I’m also working from “home”. Corny as it may sound, working half a world away, I realize I miss my Windstream “family” and I look forward to seeing you soon. In the meantime, there are donuts, here today courtesy of John Huddleston.  So, enjoy some comfort food with regards from my Cuenca family (pictured) to you!
Post a Comment
Read more

Donuts and Space-Time

Friends,
Have you ever stopped to consider the profound (and sometimes unforeseen) impact our actions can have on the fabric of the universe? The thought occurred to me as I was watching Pablo, my 6 foot something fourteen-year-old son. He is a smart, likeable, independent young man who is starting to assert his personal tastes (big Afro) and will, sooner than you know it, be an adult -fully in charge of his own destiny. If you rewind just a little, it was not so long ago he was that "I'm cute and I know it" six-year-old, small enough to sit on daddy's lap, sporting a hairstyle to daddy's liking. Rewind a little further and he was a twinkle in his daddy's eye. A decision waiting to be made. An action ready to be taken. Pure potential. Today, I can’t imagine life without him (or any of my other kids). Back then, I couldn’t imagine how much he would enrich my life. The same can be said for so many decisions. Enrolling in University, starting a new project, maki…
Post a Comment
Read more

Muffins and Covfefe

Friends, I’m surprised that none of those trolling POTUS over the Covfefe tweet have suggested an acronym-related explanation. After all, he is the commander in chief, and much like telecom, the military is replete with acronyms and abbreviations. Here are some plausible explanations. ·A new top secret chemical weapon, inadvertently referenced due to an innate desire to Brag –it would explain the ensuing “oops” silence. Referenced by its chemical elements: Cobalt Vanadium di-Iron (CoVFeFe or CoVFe2). ·He may have been talking about the border wall: Concrete Obstacle Visioned to Forcefully Exclude Foreign Entry ·It could be that he was contemplating a new shorthand that packs a high concentration of superlatives. Charming Outrageously Very Fabulous Extremely Fantastic Eyepopping (which could be followed by any noun) ·It’s possible he was explaining the rationale for leaving the Paris accord: Climate Optimistic Views Fiercely Avoiding Factual Evidence ·It could also be a new telecom techno…
Post a Comment
Read more