Skip to main content

Visit us for Donuts

Dear Members and Constituents,
How do large companies prevent employees from using the visitor parking? The answer is not as straightforward you’d expect. Granted, clearly marking the spots is a good start, but what of enforcement? Security may have police aspirations, but they have no real power. Compounding the problem, false positives could upset vendors –or worse, customers… so you issue official-looking threats on paper.
This morning we explore this question, thanks to Anne Claeys, who was kind enough to share her experiences –and ticket– with me. Having flown-in from Rochester, this employee parked her rental in visitor parking. Consider the following, if you will:
  • She is based out-of-town, so technically, one could argue she is visiting
  • She does not have a Parking Permit, so she can’t very well park in the employee parking (and getting a permit for such a short period of time seems wasteful). Furthermore, the car for which she would get the permit is a rental.
  • The ticket she received is for a “Second Violation”. One can only presume the previous renter got a ticket… and the next will get towed.
  • It has no date, so you could use this ticket to prevent future ticketing. Put it on your dashboard and, presto, the ticket issuer can only presume your violation has already been catalogued. That is unless, of course, there is a color code… if canary yellow is the Wednesday color, the security guard’s suspicions would be raised by the fact your ticket is not lime green (presumably Friday’s color).
  • The citation has no identifying information, so what's to stop me from going to the visitor parking, getting a ticket and putting it on somebody's else's windshield, just for laughs.

With all these flaws I can't help but wonder why the system is still around. Might I make a suggestion? Instead of a threatening note, why not put a friendly reminder? Who knows, you might even accompany it with a donut? –which would make that security guard look even more like a police officer. Of course, that might create a perverse incentive to park where you shouldn't. So, having determined the likelihood of you getting donuts by parking in a visitor spot is slim to none, why not come to my desk instead. Rusty Corne (donut boy) delights us with four dozen extra-large LaMars donuts. Rest assured, your visit will be most welcome.
Happy Friday!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Love and Marriage go together like a Horse and... Donut!

Friends, My family gained a new daughter last week. As I welcome the freshly minted Mrs. Gonz├ílez, I wish the new couple a lasting, loving, happy and tranquil marriage. I am also reminded of a special delivery I received at the wedding. A few weeks ago, my niece/goddaughter held a “go fund me” and offered to stitch something for the donors. I, of corse, asked for a horse jumping through a donut. The completed masterpiece depicting this unlikely combo now has a special place in my office, and brings a smile to my face every time I see it. That said, I may forgo the obligatory donut today and opt for some of the leftover cake we still have at the house. Happy Friday!   New addition to the Family Horse through donut  with the artist   Horse through donut at it’s new home shelf P.S. The donut wall in action.

Anthropomorphic Donuts

Friends, The human form is the measure by which we frame the world around us. We are, after all, most familiar with (and full of) ourselves. Take the friendly elevator at Shift, the coworking environment where I sometimes migrate to change scenery. It’s no more or less efficient than other elevators, yet, the illusion of a smiley face created by the card reader’s reflection makes the space just a tad more endearing. The elevator could, for all I know, be an evil machine plotting my demise. Nah! Who am I kidding, it can’t be. What with its symmetric “eyes” and understated grin. Nothing so cute could possibly be waiting for the right moment to plunge me to my grave from the top floor. Could it? Another example: receiving two thumbs up is universally accepted as a sign of having done a great job. Unless, of course, if it’s coming from a koala bear. With two opposable thumbs in each hand, anything short of four thumbs has room for improvement. Which leads me to donuts. Last week’s expedit

THE Oasis

Friends, The book  Ready Player One  sent me down memory lane this week. The journey was not triggered by the author’s excessive references to the 1980s, which border on obsessive. Rather, it was the name of the massive virtual reality simulation used by characters in this dystopian future to escape their grim surroundings: The OASIS. You see, that was also the name of my grandfather’s country estate, the setting where a disproportionate share of my treasured childhood memories were created.  La Quinta Oasis was a bucolic old whitewashed house with a massive stone staircase, three foot thick adobe walls and wooden window shutters that, when closed at night, would submerge the residence in pitch darkness. With no running water, electricity, phone or indoor plumbing, the only modern convenience was the battery transistor radio on which my uncles would listen to “Chucho el Roto”, a radio soap opera. The Spanish fighting roosters crowed long before sunrise, making it difficult to fall back