Use your donut in accordance with product labeling

Dear Members and Constituents,

Reading a can of can of Clorox Spring Mist Disinfecting Spray a couple of days ago, I was struck by a discovery (I will let you draw your own conclusions as to how I came to be reading this material—suffice it to say that it didn’t involve the higher levels of Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs). I discovered the fine print on the can states “it is a violation of federal law to use this product in a manner inconsistent with its labeling”. I could certainly understand if such use would void any warranty, but violating federal law seems a bit much. After all, there are other federal and state laws covering a broad range of dos and don’ts, are there not? Shouldn’t that be enough? Must I now be afraid of a lawsuit if, as the product labeling states, I don’t let the surface remain wet for 10 minutes before wiping it clean? (who does that anyway?). Seems a tad extreme. And what’s the penalty? I don’t know, the can didn’t say.

So as you come over to my desk this morning and grab a donut (courtesy of Eric Rosenberg –donut boy), you should consider how Krispy Kreme would want you to use their product. Before you play finger hula hoop or don a pastry monocle, consider the legal ramifications. Or, as the law abiding citizen I’m sure you are, you can simply enjoy your donuts as designed –just don’t get carried away, big brother may be watching.
Happy Friday!

Comments

Donut Doodle Dandy

Dear Members and Constituents, In trying to figure-out Wednesday’s cool-looking Google Doodle ( Jorge Luis Borges’ 112 th birthday ), I stumbled across a list of Google Doodles you’ll never see. This, and a Rockies game later that day, were sufficient inspiration to get my head spinning around what other doodles Google might never noodle? I’m sure you’ll probably have a few ideas of your own, but I was able to come-up with a couple. How about a former Colorado Rockies player whose unfortunate encounter with a moth put him in the news this week? The Matt Holliday doodle might look something like this… Another item which, surprisingly enough, has not been made into a doodle are donuts. Although I was slightly taken aback to find this delicious pastry has not been featured, after the initial disappointment, I decided to take matters into my own hands and take a stab at one (perhaps Google can use it next year for national donut day )… or to celebrate Greek police having “ blown a ho...

Donut Hole Alignment

Friends, My predawn attempts to watch the planetary alignment have thus far been met with cloudy skies. The weather forecast through the end of the cosmic event suggests I shall not witness it. And yet, my futile attempts have been rewarded in other ways. The chorus of birds, frogs and insects singing in anticipation of the sun’s glorious rising complement the river’s steady churning. The crisp, fresh air in a desolate town whose citizens are still bidding Morpheus “adieu” caresses my skin while the sweet aroma of petrichor fills my lounges. Deep shadows of centenarian eucalyptus trees slowly recede and give way to the imperceptible progress of the brightening skies. Sure, witnessing those tiny bright spots lined-up in the sky would be pretty cool —like sprinkles on a donut. Speaking of donuts, if you’re ever in Cuenca around the feast of Corpus Christi (which ended yesterday) you need to try the Huevos Chilenos (Chilean Eggs) —think of them as less sweet donut holes. And, if like me t...

Where in the world is Kate Middleton?

Friends, There’s a perfect storm brewing and I’m not talking about the massive amount of snow falling over the Denver area. I’m referring to the mixing of two highly reactive ingredients. On one hand Kate, princess of Wales, absent from the public limelight following her mysterious surgery allegedly posted a clumsily edited photo. On the other “swifties”, whose penchant for following mysterious clues left behind by Ms. Swift has been in need of a new challenge due to a break in Taylor’s schedule. The poor handling of royal communications followed by the ensuing wild speculation by the hoards of bored gen Zers has been fun to watch. Is she horribly disfigured? Is she leaving William? Is she dead? While the truth is probably more mundane (she’s convalescing), conspiracy theories are so much more fun. And, since all one really needs is a fig leaf of plausibility to create one, I’d like to fabricate my own: I believe Catherine had a compliance chip implanted against her will. The chip’s pu...

Friday Donuts

Search This Blog