Friday Donuts

Dear Members and Constituents, Trust is a fundamental building block to knowledge. Everything you think you know is based on it. You trust your senses are not some illusion put there by a nefarious being (think “the Matrix” or René Descartes’ premise of an evil being fooling you into believing you exist –which led to his famous “I think therefore I am” conclusion). You trust your memories are a product of your own experiences and not just some file placed there by a brain hacker. You trust your parents weren't just messing with you. You trust teachers aren’t just making stuff-up. You trust science. You trust faith. Even the most skeptical person’s worldview is built on trust. I suppose that is why conspiracy theories have such great appeal. After all, at some level, we realize that if our trust is misplaced, we could easily be deceived. A great example is an e-mail I received from Chris Hynes (donut boy). The message “The Donuts have landed!!!” had a time stamp of 7:28 AM. I was

[Posted by Ed Stocker in JP's absence] Dear Members and Constituents, Today we are celebrating the 9 th anniversary of our little donut club.  I’d like to personally thank JP for starting this many moons ago, but he’s out of the office today, so this email will have to do. 9 years is a long time.  Many things can’t make it 9 years, Concert Communications was a Billion dollar joint venture between BT and MCI (later replaced by AT&T) and only lasted 8 years.  Some take 9 years but accomplish little, in the Nine Years War France fought basically the rest of Europe and the end result was only small changes in a few country’s borders.  Sometimes good things can happen, in his first 9 years in the NBA Michael Jordan won 3 NBA Championships.  I’ll let you determine for yourself if 9 years of a donut club is worth celebrating or not.  I will point out that in two years we’ll be at 11 and able to jam with Spinal Tap when we need to turn it up for that extra push over the

Dear Members and Constituents, In an age when many kids don't understand why toll-free numbers exist, it seems ironic that a couple of telephone numbers are increasingly being used as words. Just yesterday, I heard a radio station give listeners "the 4-1-1" on upcoming concerts. I’ve also heard folks use “9-1-1” in lieu of “emergency”. I don’t think the goal is expediency, after all, you're only saving a syllable in each case, and the words “info” and “urgent” are both shorter. No, it’s something entirely different –and I think this concept has legs. In-fact, I have a few ideas on how to expand it. Broadcasting stations could have 5-1-1 reporters (traffic), and I can really see the expression "would you like me to 7-1-1 that for you?" (meaning "do I need to repeat myself?") really catching-on with parents. In bars, a girl might tell that guy to whom she just gave her phone number “8-1-1 me” (call before, you dig? –alright, maybe this is going a

Dear Members and Constituents, Happy NDD! (National Donut Day). Imagine if they'd called it American Donut Day (ADD), wait, I lost my train of thought, where was I?. Right. On this day we celebrate several donut milestones. We anticipate Dunkin Donuts' imminent arrival to Denver and their newly launched donut breakfast sandwich –donut + bacon + eggs = yum! We also cheer Voodoo Doughnut’s decision to go beyond Oregon with a store on East Colfax –gritty + scary + sleazy = ideal location! Finally, we applaud Mack Greene's bewildering selection of four dozen LaMar's specimens. Assuming you are not out-and-about getting your free donut at a local shop, you can come get yours right here. Cheers! Happy Friday!