May Arbor Guide Your Donut Choice

Friends,

Our building remodeling project has delivered a new “feature”: the parking garage elevator button configuration. Seated deep within a hole, it reminds me of the Flash Gordon rite of initiation into manhood. You know, that hollow log where young men must choose a hole to put their hand into (and hope the green slug wood beast doesn’t sting their hand). Even though I know this test does not involve the potential for a maddening death, there is some primal fear that gives me some pause every time I have to push the dreaded button. In a way, it makes sense. In nature, you don’t want to put your hand into the den of a burrowing creature. Whether it be a bear or a badger; a snake, a spider or a scorpion, the resulting encounter is unlikely to go well for you. So we are conditioned to be weary. I wonder if the design is intentional. Personally, I think they should make this a permanent fixture –and build on it with some additional sensory feedback. Perhaps some dangling nylon strings between you and the button so something rubs against your hand while attempting to find the knob. A minor electric shock when you push the switch? A motion-activated honey badger growl?? So many possibilities come to mind. Fortunately, donuts don’t come in long narrow tubes, so grabbing one is a lot less stressful. There are a dozen Holy Donuts here ready to be consumed, so come reward yourself for braving the elevator call. You’ve earned it!

By the way, if you’re looking for some adventure, I am looking for four brave volunteers who are willing to bring a dozen donuts into the office. Let me know if you are up to the challenge.

Happy Friday!

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