Dried-up donut hole at my core

Friends,

This week I’ve been bombarded by inappropriate thoughts. Minding my own business, when BAM!, a thought so wrong it shames me, sucker-punches my brain. It makes me question whether I’m the good person I believe, or deep-down, there’s a rotten core longing to come out. Here’s what I’m talking about:

During Jeff Bezos’ HQ2 negotiations with New York City, there was an Amazon Burn Book –where they tallied politicians’ offensive remarks. Well, the news leaked, get this, as the Amazon Burned! Anybody else find the timing (and wording) a bit disturbing? In my book, this feels plain wrong.
When hurricane Dorian was devastating the Bahamas, the media kept referring to their residents as Bahamian –which sounds a lot like Bohemian. This would invariably trigger an earworm… “thunderbolts and lightning, very, very frightening me! Galileo, Galileo, Galileo, Figaro… Magnifico!”
Speaking of this massive thunderstorm, a recent headline read “Hurricane Dorian: Gray Skies Over Florida”. Really? What sick puppy editor thinks it’s appropriate to subliminally reference Dorian Gray? If tropical depression 9 becomes a category 5 storm will this editor’s headline read “Hurricane Imelda Marks a path of devastation --destroying several shoe stores in its wake”?

What kind of a twisted mind makes these connections? These are all major life-altering events impacting thousands of folks and here I am, finding amusement in the way things get worded. So inappropriate. So sorry!

I should stick to musings about donuts. For instance, why doesn’t San Diego’s Donut Bar offer any alcoholic beverage pairings? A Maple Bacon donut with your Bourbon. Perhaps a French Cruller for your French 75. An Old Fashioned donut to match your… Old Fashioned.? That would certainly seem more appropriate, don’t you think?

Happy Friday! (or, if you enjoyed this, maybe see you in hell is more appropriate)

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