Dried-up donut hole at my core

Friends,

This week I’ve been bombarded by inappropriate thoughts. Minding my own business, when BAM!, a thought so wrong it shames me, sucker-punches my brain. It makes me question whether I’m the good person I believe, or deep-down, there’s a rotten core longing to come out. Here’s what I’m talking about:

During Jeff Bezos’ HQ2 negotiations with New York City, there was an Amazon Burn Book –where they tallied politicians’ offensive remarks. Well, the news leaked, get this, as the Amazon Burned! Anybody else find the timing (and wording) a bit disturbing? In my book, this feels plain wrong.
When hurricane Dorian was devastating the Bahamas, the media kept referring to their residents as Bahamian –which sounds a lot like Bohemian. This would invariably trigger an earworm… “thunderbolts and lightning, very, very frightening me! Galileo, Galileo, Galileo, Figaro… Magnifico!”
Speaking of this massive thunderstorm, a recent headline read “Hurricane Dorian: Gray Skies Over Florida”. Really? What sick puppy editor thinks it’s appropriate to subliminally reference Dorian Gray? If tropical depression 9 becomes a category 5 storm will this editor’s headline read “Hurricane Imelda Marks a path of devastation --destroying several shoe stores in its wake”?

What kind of a twisted mind makes these connections? These are all major life-altering events impacting thousands of folks and here I am, finding amusement in the way things get worded. So inappropriate. So sorry!

I should stick to musings about donuts. For instance, why doesn’t San Diego’s Donut Bar offer any alcoholic beverage pairings? A Maple Bacon donut with your Bourbon. Perhaps a French Cruller for your French 75. An Old Fashioned donut to match your… Old Fashioned.? That would certainly seem more appropriate, don’t you think?

Happy Friday! (or, if you enjoyed this, maybe see you in hell is more appropriate)

Comments

Donut Doodle Dandy

Dear Members and Constituents, In trying to figure-out Wednesday’s cool-looking Google Doodle ( Jorge Luis Borges’ 112 th birthday ), I stumbled across a list of Google Doodles you’ll never see. This, and a Rockies game later that day, were sufficient inspiration to get my head spinning around what other doodles Google might never noodle? I’m sure you’ll probably have a few ideas of your own, but I was able to come-up with a couple. How about a former Colorado Rockies player whose unfortunate encounter with a moth put him in the news this week? The Matt Holliday doodle might look something like this… Another item which, surprisingly enough, has not been made into a doodle are donuts. Although I was slightly taken aback to find this delicious pastry has not been featured, after the initial disappointment, I decided to take matters into my own hands and take a stab at one (perhaps Google can use it next year for national donut day )… or to celebrate Greek police having “ blown a ho...

Donut Hole Alignment

Friends, My predawn attempts to watch the planetary alignment have thus far been met with cloudy skies. The weather forecast through the end of the cosmic event suggests I shall not witness it. And yet, my futile attempts have been rewarded in other ways. The chorus of birds, frogs and insects singing in anticipation of the sun’s glorious rising complement the river’s steady churning. The crisp, fresh air in a desolate town whose citizens are still bidding Morpheus “adieu” caresses my skin while the sweet aroma of petrichor fills my lounges. Deep shadows of centenarian eucalyptus trees slowly recede and give way to the imperceptible progress of the brightening skies. Sure, witnessing those tiny bright spots lined-up in the sky would be pretty cool —like sprinkles on a donut. Speaking of donuts, if you’re ever in Cuenca around the feast of Corpus Christi (which ended yesterday) you need to try the Huevos Chilenos (Chilean Eggs) —think of them as less sweet donut holes. And, if like me t...

Verónica, Esq.

Friends, Stop me if you've heard this one before. A man walks into a bar looking for a lawyer. The bartender says "you won't find any here... they need to pass the bar." Speaking of which, my daughter officially passed the bar last week and can now practice law in Colorado. She can also breathe easier, take a break from all that studying and, who knows, perhaps even stop at a bar once in a while. Or... celebrate in style with a Voodoo doughnut. Please join me in congratulating Verónica González, Esq., who will make a fabulous attorney. Happy Friday!

Friday Donuts

Search This Blog