Alternative Telecom Definitions

Friends,

In the multiverse, if you can imagine something, it has happened on a parallel planet. Out there, citizens laugh at the terminology we choose to use. As mementos from my trip to one such verse, I bring you some definitions found in their version of Newton’s Telecom Dictionary.

Fiber optic.

Medical services combining digestive health and eye care.

Cell phone.

A device momma amoeba uses to text daddy amoeba her last minute shopping requests, usually when he’s already paying for groceries.

Firewall.

Backdrop where firing squads implement summary executions ordered by revolutionary kangaroo courts. Ready. Aim…

Broadband.

All female musical group from the Bronx.

SIP Trunk.

Idiom used to describe what elephants do with their proboscis during high tea.

Of course, any world worth living in must have donuts. Which reminds me, I need to go grab one.

Happy Friday!

-JP González

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P.S. While today's images were created with the help of DALL·E, an AI system by OpenAI, the text on the other hand was generated by this humble human.

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