Skip to main content

Alternative Telecom Definitions

Friends,

In the multiverse, if you can imagine something, it has happened on a parallel planet. Out there, citizens laugh at the terminology we choose to use. As mementos from my trip to one such verse, I bring you some definitions found in their version of Newton’s Telecom Dictionary. 

Fiber optic.
Medical services combining digestive health and eye care. 
f685cbbc-4af4-40a2-accc-a91271f3c1ed.jpg

Cell phone
A device momma amoeba uses to text daddy amoeba her last minute shopping requests, usually when he’s already paying for groceries. 
Cell Phone.jpg

Firewall
Backdrop where firing squads implement summary executions ordered by revolutionary kangaroo courts. Ready. Aim…
Firewall.jpg

Broadband
All female musical group from the Bronx.  
Broadband.jpg

SIP Trunk
Idiom used to describe what elephants do with their proboscis during high tea. 
SIP_Trunk.jpg

Of course, any world worth living in must have donuts. Which reminds me, I need to go grab one. 
Happy Friday!

-JP González
720-480-4116

P.S. While today's images were created with the help of DALL·E, an AI system by OpenAI, the text on the other hand was generated by this humble human.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Donut Doodle Dandy

Dear Members and Constituents, In trying to figure-out Wednesday’s cool-looking Google Doodle ( Jorge Luis Borges’ 112 th birthday ), I stumbled across a list of Google Doodles you’ll never see. This, and a Rockies game later that day, were sufficient inspiration to get my head spinning around what other doodles Google might never noodle? I’m sure you’ll probably have a few ideas of your own, but I was able to come-up with a couple. How about a former Colorado Rockies player whose unfortunate encounter with a moth put him in the news this week? The Matt Holliday doodle might look something like this… Another item which, surprisingly enough, has not been made into a doodle are donuts. Although I was slightly taken aback to find this delicious pastry has not been featured, after the initial disappointment, I decided to take matters into my own hands and take a stab at one (perhaps Google can use it next year for national donut day )… or to celebrate Greek police having “ blown a ho

Donut Hole Alignment

Friends, My predawn attempts to watch the planetary alignment have thus far been met with cloudy skies. The weather forecast through the end of the cosmic event suggests I shall not witness it. And yet, my futile attempts have been rewarded in other ways. The chorus of birds, frogs and insects singing in anticipation of the sun’s glorious rising complement the river’s steady churning. The crisp, fresh air in a desolate town whose citizens are still bidding Morpheus “adieu” caresses my skin while the sweet aroma of petrichor fills my lounges. Deep shadows of centenarian eucalyptus trees slowly recede and give way to the imperceptible progress of the brightening skies. Sure, witnessing those tiny bright spots lined-up in the sky would be pretty cool —like sprinkles on a donut. Speaking of donuts, if you’re ever in Cuenca around the feast of Corpus Christi (which ended yesterday) you need to try the Huevos Chilenos (Chilean Eggs) —think of them as less sweet donut holes. And, if like me t

Donuts Without Borders

Friends, I believe going anywhere in the world (so long as you abide by the local laws) should be a human right. People should be allowed to wander freely (or vote with their feet whenever a government alienates them). In this, I fully support Doctors Without Borders’ decision to no longer accept funding from the EU due to their immigration policies. Good for them! That said borders can be useful. Take, for instance national sports teams. If there were no borders, events like the summer and winter Olympiads would not exist. Closer to home, those of you who follow soccer are probably tuning-in to the hundredth edition of Copa America , currently under way. Last night the quarter final opener featured both of the teams for which I've been rooting. Who do you cheer for when you know only one of your teams will advance? You can't root for both or you risk becoming a dispassionate observer, so, you either pick one or choose to narrate the game in English (i.e. no 100 MPH narra