Skip to main content

Rapid Unscheduled Donut Expedition


I have a new favorite euphemism: "rapid unscheduled disassembly," and I'm dying to try it outside of the SpaceX Starship light show. But where to use it? Bear with me while I try it out... It's not even been three years since the port of Beirut's rapid unscheduled disassembly, so it may be too soon to use it in that context. Well, how about the Death Star? It inflicted a rapid unscheduled disassembly on Alderaan before being subjected to a rapid unscheduled disassembly of its own. Doesn't quite roll off the tongue does it? Maybe if we made it an acronym? RUD? I have an idea! In the long tradition of hand-picking words to fit acronyms, how about we add a word, so it's a "Rapid Unscheduled Disassembly Explosion" (RUDE). I realize the last word defeats the reason the three preceding words were used in the first place, but by putting it in an acronym, you can still avoid saying it. Or you could just say the rocket exploded. But where's the fun in that?

In other news. I will become a first-time grandfather today--my daughter-in-law is undergoing what one might call a "slow scheduled delivery." So, I may just have to go out, grab a donut and perform a rapid unscheduled disassembly on some firecrackers to celebrate.

A rapid unscheduled disassembly at my son´s wedding

Happy Friday!


Popular posts from this blog

Donut Doodle Dandy

Dear Members and Constituents, In trying to figure-out Wednesday’s cool-looking Google Doodle ( Jorge Luis Borges’ 112 th birthday ), I stumbled across a list of Google Doodles you’ll never see. This, and a Rockies game later that day, were sufficient inspiration to get my head spinning around what other doodles Google might never noodle? I’m sure you’ll probably have a few ideas of your own, but I was able to come-up with a couple. How about a former Colorado Rockies player whose unfortunate encounter with a moth put him in the news this week? The Matt Holliday doodle might look something like this… Another item which, surprisingly enough, has not been made into a doodle are donuts. Although I was slightly taken aback to find this delicious pastry has not been featured, after the initial disappointment, I decided to take matters into my own hands and take a stab at one (perhaps Google can use it next year for national donut day )… or to celebrate Greek police having “ blown a ho

Donut Hole Alignment

Friends, My predawn attempts to watch the planetary alignment have thus far been met with cloudy skies. The weather forecast through the end of the cosmic event suggests I shall not witness it. And yet, my futile attempts have been rewarded in other ways. The chorus of birds, frogs and insects singing in anticipation of the sun’s glorious rising complement the river’s steady churning. The crisp, fresh air in a desolate town whose citizens are still bidding Morpheus “adieu” caresses my skin while the sweet aroma of petrichor fills my lounges. Deep shadows of centenarian eucalyptus trees slowly recede and give way to the imperceptible progress of the brightening skies. Sure, witnessing those tiny bright spots lined-up in the sky would be pretty cool —like sprinkles on a donut. Speaking of donuts, if you’re ever in Cuenca around the feast of Corpus Christi (which ended yesterday) you need to try the Huevos Chilenos (Chilean Eggs) —think of them as less sweet donut holes. And, if like me t

Donuts Without Borders

Friends, I believe going anywhere in the world (so long as you abide by the local laws) should be a human right. People should be allowed to wander freely (or vote with their feet whenever a government alienates them). In this, I fully support Doctors Without Borders’ decision to no longer accept funding from the EU due to their immigration policies. Good for them! That said borders can be useful. Take, for instance national sports teams. If there were no borders, events like the summer and winter Olympiads would not exist. Closer to home, those of you who follow soccer are probably tuning-in to the hundredth edition of Copa America , currently under way. Last night the quarter final opener featured both of the teams for which I've been rooting. Who do you cheer for when you know only one of your teams will advance? You can't root for both or you risk becoming a dispassionate observer, so, you either pick one or choose to narrate the game in English (i.e. no 100 MPH narra