Skip to main content

Abandoned Carts

Friends,
My younger self tended to interpret things literally. News of my sister “breaking” her head conjured visions of exposed brain matter (the actual wound was a rather small cut). While this propensity has been tempered with time, my first pass at processing information is often literal. In a world of similes and metaphors, this creates plenty of opportunities for inner chuckles when the intended meaning becomes apparent.

Over time, a few marketing terms have fallen into the humorous gap created by the cognitive dissonance between the figurative and literal. Smile inducing marketing jargon includes churn rate (how fast milk is turned into butter), conversions (a measure of your religious proselytism’s effectiveness), and brand equity (giving animals who produce similar farm products comparably equal third degree burn scars regardless of gender, species, breed or other status).

Which brings me to abandoned carts. Here are a couple I ran across this week.
This cart got flooded with competing offers

This cart is from the target market.

And now it’s time to execute my content strategy (having a donut to give myself contentment).

Happy Friday!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Donut Doodle Dandy

Dear Members and Constituents, In trying to figure-out Wednesday’s cool-looking Google Doodle ( Jorge Luis Borges’ 112 th birthday ), I stumbled across a list of Google Doodles you’ll never see. This, and a Rockies game later that day, were sufficient inspiration to get my head spinning around what other doodles Google might never noodle? I’m sure you’ll probably have a few ideas of your own, but I was able to come-up with a couple. How about a former Colorado Rockies player whose unfortunate encounter with a moth put him in the news this week? The Matt Holliday doodle might look something like this… Another item which, surprisingly enough, has not been made into a doodle are donuts. Although I was slightly taken aback to find this delicious pastry has not been featured, after the initial disappointment, I decided to take matters into my own hands and take a stab at one (perhaps Google can use it next year for national donut day )… or to celebrate Greek police having “ blown a ho...

Donut Hole Alignment

Friends, My predawn attempts to watch the planetary alignment have thus far been met with cloudy skies. The weather forecast through the end of the cosmic event suggests I shall not witness it. And yet, my futile attempts have been rewarded in other ways. The chorus of birds, frogs and insects singing in anticipation of the sun’s glorious rising complement the river’s steady churning. The crisp, fresh air in a desolate town whose citizens are still bidding Morpheus “adieu” caresses my skin while the sweet aroma of petrichor fills my lounges. Deep shadows of centenarian eucalyptus trees slowly recede and give way to the imperceptible progress of the brightening skies. Sure, witnessing those tiny bright spots lined-up in the sky would be pretty cool —like sprinkles on a donut. Speaking of donuts, if you’re ever in Cuenca around the feast of Corpus Christi (which ended yesterday) you need to try the Huevos Chilenos (Chilean Eggs) —think of them as less sweet donut holes. And, if like me t...

Verónica, Esq.

Friends, Stop me if you've heard this one before. A man walks into a bar looking for a lawyer. The bartender says "you won't find any here... they need to pass the bar." Speaking of which, my daughter officially passed the bar last week and can now practice law in Colorado. She can also breathe easier, take a break from all that studying and, who knows, perhaps even stop at a bar once in a while. Or... celebrate in style with a Voodoo doughnut. Please join me in congratulating Verónica González, Esq., who will make a fabulous attorney. Happy Friday!