Where in the world is Kate Middleton?

Friends,

There’s a perfect storm brewing and I’m not talking about the massive amount of snow falling over the Denver area. I’m referring to the mixing of two highly reactive ingredients. On one hand Kate, princess of Wales, absent from the public limelight following her mysterious surgery allegedly posted a clumsily edited photo. On the other “swifties”, whose penchant for following mysterious clues left behind by Ms. Swift has been in need of a new challenge due to a break in Taylor’s schedule. The poor handling of royal communications followed by the ensuing wild speculation by the hoards of bored gen Zers has been fun to watch. Is she horribly disfigured? Is she leaving William? Is she dead? While the truth is probably more mundane (she’s convalescing), conspiracy theories are so much more fun. And, since all one really needs is a fig leaf of plausibility to create one, I’d like to fabricate my own: I believe Catherine had a compliance chip implanted against her will. The chip’s purpose was to make her more docile and receptive to William’s outlandish views and bedroom quirks. Unfortunately, an unforeseen neural pathway rejection is causing her to experience symptoms similar to Tourette’s (she obviously can't be seen in public, who knows what she'll say next!). That and the unsightly post-operative bald patch and scar tissue have meant having to keep her locked in the dungeon longer than originally planned. Either that or she's been over-indulging her donut habit and had to be sent away to weight reduction camp. Either way, get the popcorn ready for the next episode in this ongoing royal saga.
Happy Friday!

P.S. Here's an undoctored photo to help you celebrate Ides of March! Et tu, Kate?

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Donut Doodle Dandy

Dear Members and Constituents, In trying to figure-out Wednesday’s cool-looking Google Doodle ( Jorge Luis Borges’ 112 th birthday ), I stumbled across a list of Google Doodles you’ll never see. This, and a Rockies game later that day, were sufficient inspiration to get my head spinning around what other doodles Google might never noodle? I’m sure you’ll probably have a few ideas of your own, but I was able to come-up with a couple. How about a former Colorado Rockies player whose unfortunate encounter with a moth put him in the news this week? The Matt Holliday doodle might look something like this… Another item which, surprisingly enough, has not been made into a doodle are donuts. Although I was slightly taken aback to find this delicious pastry has not been featured, after the initial disappointment, I decided to take matters into my own hands and take a stab at one (perhaps Google can use it next year for national donut day )… or to celebrate Greek police having “ blown a ho...

Gilding the Donut

Friends, Despite writing about donuts (sort of) for over 20 years, I don’t believe in sugar coating, after all, honesty is the best policy. Gilding, on the other hand I’m good with. Take the church of the Society of Jesus in Quito, (AKA La Compañía). Built in fits and starts between 1597 and 1765, the volcanic rock baroque facade conceals a spectacular interior. I had the chance to go inside this week and although I had heard about the gold leaf work inside, the descriptions had not done it justice. The details from floor to ceiling transport you to another world, perhaps that’s the point. If you’re ever there, be sure to visit. And while you’re there stop by one of the many panaderías … if you’re lucky they might even have a donut. Happy Friday!

The Wrong Word

Friends, Do you ever find yourself starting to say a word, realizing it’s the wrong choice and trying to change it while speaking — making it worse? For me, it’s happened more times than I care to admit. A recurring faux pas for me occurs at the part of the mass where the congregation says “when we eat this bread and drink this cup we proclaim your death, o Lord, until you come again”. For some reason my brain wants to say “profess” instead of “proclaim” — which would essentially mean the same thing. Unfortunately, in my clumsy attempts to fix my mistake mid-word, what comes out sounds like “profane” — totally the wrong vibe. Good thing the entire congregation is saying the same thing in unison. If someone heard me they might think the priest was consecrating a donut, instead of the host. Happy Friday!

Friday Donuts

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