To the current and future members of the donut club,
First I must address the burning question; why is Ed sending this email? JP is out of the country, so I was recruited to mange the doughnut club on an interim basis and am excited to assume this position of responsibility.
The rotation has once again completed, today marks the start of a newly chartered club. To that end, the tasty treats are at JP’s Desk, 31A-216 if you have forgotten the location since last Friday.
New members are welcome at this time. I am casting the net wide in an attempt to increase our donut constituency. To review for potential new members, doughnut club members will be assigned a single Friday. Donut club membership requires that on your assigned Friday you will provide 2 or 3 dozen "boutique" donuts by 8 am. The 2 -3 dozen standard will be revised as needed in response to total club membership, but has remained consistent for 2 years. Once all active members have brought in doughnuts on their assigned Friday, the club will once again recharter and the process repeats. This is a doughnut club. No bagels. No croissants. No muffins. Just Donuts. Boutique Doughnuts, no grocery store wannabees allowed.
There is a sign up sheet by the donuts, so if you have a preferred date to bring your doughnut contribution mark it down.
If you do not choose a date I will assign a date to all of you in the TO recipients of this email. If you wish to leave the doughnut club you must opt out. Why anyone would elect to opt out is not fully understood, but we will respect your wishes while making fun of you behind your back.
If you are listed in the CC recipients, you must opt in. Really you MUST opt in; there isn’t a decision to be made. Anyone who does not opt in is doomed to a life of dreary Fridays spent wistfully watching others enjoying the tasty doughnuts.
Last time there was a bit of conflict regarding the doughnuts that was thankfully resolved with the decision to require doughnuts be procured from a boutique purveyor. The question this time is a bit less volatile. Is it Donut or Doughnut? (Voting is above).