Skip to main content

Honk if you Love Dounts

Dear Members and Constituents,
A car parked at the Level 3 garage (pictured) got me thinking about bumper stickers. Yes, bumper stickers, that passive-aggressive way to share something about yourself with your fellow commuters. Peel the backing, place the sticky side on your car and voila! You’re ready to show support, boast membership, crack an inside joke or mock others’ views. Permanently. Indiscriminately. Bumper stickers are a convenient means to broadcast your politics (for or against), national origin (pick an obscure three letter abbreviation), sport (26.2, 13.1 or 0.0), beliefs (fish, with or without legs), what you’d rather be doing (catching fish, preferably of the legless variety), advertise a product, or share how your group “does it” (can I get one that says “Level 3 employees do it around the corner or across the globe”?). There are even donut bumper stickers. You have the classic “bad cop, no donut” (because, let’s face it, there’s no way you’re getting off with a warning) and Voodoo Doughnuts has one that reads “the magic is in the hole” (yeah, not getting one either).

One major draw-back with bumper stickers is the lack of an “ACK” to your proverbial “PING”. For the most part you don’t know whether or how your message has been received (I suppose the “honk if” genre circumvents this pitfall and there’s some debate as to whether hand gestures count as feedback). Even so, for the most part, if the only other Norwegian Grateful Dead fan in town who runs ultra-marathons, hearts Chihuahuas and gets gassy when people drive too close behind them is directly in front of you, there’s no practical way for you to connect. Given the limitations, I admit I don’t fully understand this compulsion to self-vandalize our own vehicles. Perhaps the satisfaction of telling the world you have an Apple computer is its own reward. Then again, if you live in Boulder and drive a Subaru, I think there’s a law mandating you must have no less than four bumper stickers (preferably political in nature). As for Jeep drivers’ self-evident bumper stickers, I’m sure I wouldn’t understand.

In any event, whether you are a tree-hugging, welfare-state, Huffington Post liberal or a gun-toting Fox News conservative who’s proud of your gas-guzzler (or somewhere in the middle), it’s comforting to know the back side of your car can scream these and many other messages to your fellow drivers with little fear of repercussion. It’s also comforting to know Igor Nikolic (donut boy) has delivered four dozen delicious donuts to Ed Stocker’s desk (who is out for a second consecutive Friday). So come enjoy some peace, love and donuts. Hey, that would make an awesome bumper sticker!
Happy Friday!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Ashes to Ashes

  Friends, I don’t know about you, but my household tends to use things a tad beyond their reasonably useful life. Cars, razors, pillows... heck, we squeezed the last BTU out of our home’s 25 year old thermostat —15 years is for rookies. This week we bid our fire pit farewell. Structurally unstable and rusted to the core, this contrivance was well on its way to returning to the soil. Memories of s’mores, cigars and shared spirits come rushing back, as does the six foot tall cardboard peach burned atop it, which caused the first stress fractures in the waning days of 2019. Good times! I suppose nothing lasts forever, but memories can add a sense of permanence to the fleeting. So go, grab a donut and make some new memories!! Happy Friday!

To an end to Covid Games

  Friends, As 2021 comes to an end, it’s time to remember and be grateful for another year of life – there’s much for which to be grateful. Sure, some things could have gone better (they always can), but on balance things were good. At the González household, the cathartic process of capturing this year’s essence to burn at midnight is wrapping-up. This year’s theme, “Covid Games from home” uses Squid games (Netflix’s unlikely breakaway hit) as a way to mock the two main Covid variants of concern (Delta and Omicron) and commiserate about working from home with all the weirdness it carries along. Comfy slippers combined with dressing-up from the waist up for zoom meetings (not to mention the quarantine fifteen). As I hope for lots of snow and no wind (lest we need to call an audible on the midnight burn) my thoughts turn to my friends in Boulder county and hopes for a quick recovery. May 2022 bring an end to confinement and lots of opportunities to share donuts. Happy Friday!

BIrds of a Feather

Friends, The early bird catches the worm, however, as the sun rises I’d much rather have a Denver omelet than a diet of worms . Ready to fly the coop, my ducks all in a row, I ponder one more time whether a bird in hand is truly worth two in the bush. Egged-on by my quest to tuck away a nest egg, I’ve decided to change industries and hope that, like the phoenix, my career will also rise from the ashes of change. After all, I’m no spring chicken –my crow’s feet and gray bely my age – however, I have to trust my judgment and believe you can’t catch this old bird with chaff (whether or not folks think me an odd bird for my actions). And so I shall attempt to soar like an eagle, aware that counting my chickens before they hatch would be ill-advised. As I learn to talk turkey in the language of cybersecurity, I will endeavor not to hide my head in the sand, choosing instead to be like a duck – calm on the surface and paddle like hell underneath! And while my excessive use of bird-inspired