Skip to main content

Donut Update - Severity 3 - Observations on human behavior


Friends,
Wednesday’s email flurry coincided with the last day of my weeklong vacation. My brief backlog panic was followed by smirks as I sampled and catalogued the ensuing barrage –that is, of course, until IT intervened to put an end to the fun. As I see it, the responses fell into four discreet categories:
  • Clueless. The most common response, by far, was some variant of “remove me from this list” (I actually prefer the more effective “Remove me from this list NOW”). Needless to say, the “reply all” approach combined with a basic misunderstanding of what was actually happening was rather amusing.
  • Helpful-not-helpful. Be it the response to all asking folks to please stop responding to all; the multiple (misguided) instructional guides on what to do in this situation or the creative subject line changes (“STOP REPLYING TO ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” or, my favorite subject line, “Are you people insane!  I have had to delete over 400 emails just hit REPLY--NOT REPLY TO ALL”). These well-meaning folks forgot the first rule of spelunking: when you find yourself in a hole, stop digging!
  • Funny. By far my favorite category. There were memes (dinner for schmucks’ Therman saying “I release you”; the photo of Willy Wonka with “oh, you hate it when people reply all? Please reply all and tell me how much”; office space’s Steve Lundberg “mmm, yeah, could you stop hitting ‘reply all’, that’d be great” and the office’s Dwight Schrute with “100+ reply all’s, I think we need to get HR involved in this”). There were the chain letter references (although not that funny). There was sarcasm (at least I hope it was). And the fan favorite “My phone is vibrating so much I’m moving it to my front pocket”.
  • The rest of us. Whether deliberate or because it had all gone down before normal office hours in the mountain time zone, I’d say about 95% of the company did the right thing and stayed out of the fray. That said, having 5% call-to-action response rates is pretty good! Maybe there is a lesson for our outbound campaigns (then again, annoying prospects may not be the best approach).
I expect this email, announcing the weekly donut arrival won’t elicit that kind of response, but if it does, you can rest assured I’ll have a large grin on my face.
Happy Friday!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Donut Doodle Dandy

Dear Members and Constituents, In trying to figure-out Wednesday’s cool-looking Google Doodle ( Jorge Luis Borges’ 112 th birthday ), I stumbled across a list of Google Doodles you’ll never see. This, and a Rockies game later that day, were sufficient inspiration to get my head spinning around what other doodles Google might never noodle? I’m sure you’ll probably have a few ideas of your own, but I was able to come-up with a couple. How about a former Colorado Rockies player whose unfortunate encounter with a moth put him in the news this week? The Matt Holliday doodle might look something like this… Another item which, surprisingly enough, has not been made into a doodle are donuts. Although I was slightly taken aback to find this delicious pastry has not been featured, after the initial disappointment, I decided to take matters into my own hands and take a stab at one (perhaps Google can use it next year for national donut day )… or to celebrate Greek police having “ blown a ho...

Donut Hole Alignment

Friends, My predawn attempts to watch the planetary alignment have thus far been met with cloudy skies. The weather forecast through the end of the cosmic event suggests I shall not witness it. And yet, my futile attempts have been rewarded in other ways. The chorus of birds, frogs and insects singing in anticipation of the sun’s glorious rising complement the river’s steady churning. The crisp, fresh air in a desolate town whose citizens are still bidding Morpheus “adieu” caresses my skin while the sweet aroma of petrichor fills my lounges. Deep shadows of centenarian eucalyptus trees slowly recede and give way to the imperceptible progress of the brightening skies. Sure, witnessing those tiny bright spots lined-up in the sky would be pretty cool —like sprinkles on a donut. Speaking of donuts, if you’re ever in Cuenca around the feast of Corpus Christi (which ended yesterday) you need to try the Huevos Chilenos (Chilean Eggs) —think of them as less sweet donut holes. And, if like me t...

Verónica, Esq.

Friends, Stop me if you've heard this one before. A man walks into a bar looking for a lawyer. The bartender says "you won't find any here... they need to pass the bar." Speaking of which, my daughter officially passed the bar last week and can now practice law in Colorado. She can also breathe easier, take a break from all that studying and, who knows, perhaps even stop at a bar once in a while. Or... celebrate in style with a Voodoo doughnut. Please join me in congratulating Verónica González, Esq., who will make a fabulous attorney. Happy Friday!