Skip to main content

Meta Donut Bracket

Friends,

Standing at Halloween’s door, it feels a tad creepy to see companies with obscene market capitalizations choose October to change their names. Google (valued at one proposed federal government spending bill) became Alphabet in October 2015. Now Facebook (worth half a spending bill) will become Meta. Which begs the question, who’s next? The logical candidates would be other tech stocks with market caps within spitting distance of the $1.75 trillion mark (I.e. the biggest of the big) with ambitious plans and egos to match. Fittingly, that leaves us with two candidates. Amazon — I’m rooting for “Market” as their new nom de plume — worth one spending bill and Apple, henceforth “Pear”, worth a whopping 1.5 spending bills. What about Ali Baba, you ask? Despite being ripe for a name change (owing to it’s connection to thievery), they’re not US-based and worth a measly quarter spending bill... so no. I propose a bracket to bet on which of these two tech giants will be next and what self-aggrandizing name they will choose. Entry fee would be a dozen donuts (to be purchased by the loser on the date of payment, to ensure freshness). Since the soonest the next announcement would occur is 10/22, we have some time to figure the logistics.

Happy Friday!

 


JP González

http://donuts.gonzal3z.com

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Donut Doodle Dandy

Dear Members and Constituents, In trying to figure-out Wednesday’s cool-looking Google Doodle ( Jorge Luis Borges’ 112 th birthday ), I stumbled across a list of Google Doodles you’ll never see. This, and a Rockies game later that day, were sufficient inspiration to get my head spinning around what other doodles Google might never noodle? I’m sure you’ll probably have a few ideas of your own, but I was able to come-up with a couple. How about a former Colorado Rockies player whose unfortunate encounter with a moth put him in the news this week? The Matt Holliday doodle might look something like this… Another item which, surprisingly enough, has not been made into a doodle are donuts. Although I was slightly taken aback to find this delicious pastry has not been featured, after the initial disappointment, I decided to take matters into my own hands and take a stab at one (perhaps Google can use it next year for national donut day )… or to celebrate Greek police having “ blown a ho...

Donut Hole Alignment

Friends, My predawn attempts to watch the planetary alignment have thus far been met with cloudy skies. The weather forecast through the end of the cosmic event suggests I shall not witness it. And yet, my futile attempts have been rewarded in other ways. The chorus of birds, frogs and insects singing in anticipation of the sun’s glorious rising complement the river’s steady churning. The crisp, fresh air in a desolate town whose citizens are still bidding Morpheus “adieu” caresses my skin while the sweet aroma of petrichor fills my lounges. Deep shadows of centenarian eucalyptus trees slowly recede and give way to the imperceptible progress of the brightening skies. Sure, witnessing those tiny bright spots lined-up in the sky would be pretty cool —like sprinkles on a donut. Speaking of donuts, if you’re ever in Cuenca around the feast of Corpus Christi (which ended yesterday) you need to try the Huevos Chilenos (Chilean Eggs) —think of them as less sweet donut holes. And, if like me t...

Donuts Without Borders

Friends, I believe going anywhere in the world (so long as you abide by the local laws) should be a human right. People should be allowed to wander freely (or vote with their feet whenever a government alienates them). In this, I fully support Doctors Without Borders’ decision to no longer accept funding from the EU due to their immigration policies. Good for them! That said borders can be useful. Take, for instance national sports teams. If there were no borders, events like the summer and winter Olympiads would not exist. Closer to home, those of you who follow soccer are probably tuning-in to the hundredth edition of Copa America , currently under way. Last night the quarter final opener featured both of the teams for which I've been rooting. Who do you cheer for when you know only one of your teams will advance? You can't root for both or you risk becoming a dispassionate observer, so, you either pick one or choose to narrate the game in English (i.e. no 100 MPH narra...