Friends,
Leftover season is the perfect time
of year to head out to the gym and watch a police drama from an elliptical exercise
machine. When you do, you’ll notice the acting is worse than usual without
sound. The formulaic camera angles, exaggerated gestures and staged settings feel
too fake. Fortunately, there’s a simple solution: make-up your own dialog. Or,
if you’re not feeling overly creative, borrow some from Deadpool.
Picture the overly enthusiastic
crime analyst magically projecting a digitally enhanced surveillance video
image of a suspect walking away from his car.
His supervisor who always seems
to be standing over his shoulder says “Is that a fanny pack? I used to have one
of those in nineteen-ninety-never.”
To which the analyst replies “Relax,
he’s just retrieving something from his utility bag.”
The supervisor now gesticulating
at the screen says “It's a god-damn fanny pack and you know it, you sick son of
a bitch! The difference is night and day.”
Just then the supervisor’s boss
walks in and asks, “Is it just me or does Do You Wanna Build a Snowman from
Frozen sound suspiciously like Papa, Can You Hear Me? from Yentl?”
Supervisor and analyst turn to
her with a perplexed look and voicing “Papa, can you hear me?” in unison.
And on it goes. Extra credit if
you can work in a line about donuts.
Happy Black Friday!
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Why this image? Why not? Just a beautiful sunset photo I took on my way to the gym.
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