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Work Anniversaries and Donuts

Friends,
I’ve been wondering about our observance of solar rotations. What’s with the need to stamp each year that passes with a number? Lots of numbers. 49, 24, 35 –my age, how long I’ve been married and how many Great American Beer Fests have been held, respectively. Social convention has engrained birthdays and wedding anniversaries into our collective psyche –to the point they almost feel natural. I chalk-it-off to a need for pretexts to celebrate –and there’s nothing wrong with a good celebration. But, when did work anniversaries become a thing? My lackadaisical approach to updating my LinkedIn profile (which has shown me as an “Independent Consultant”, since I left my former employer a year ago) has resulted in a plethora of eerily similar congratulatory notes this week (and no, they don’t read “Update your LinkedIn profile, dummkopf!”). A majority of well-wishers’ notes say  “Congrats on the anniversary. Hope you’re doing well!”.  While I can certainly understand the social network’s motivation (more people communicating in-app increases stickiness and, ultimately, value) and do appreciate the thought, it feels very contrived. I suppose I might feel differently if the auto-populate text read something like “Congratulations on the work anniversary. When can we get together so I can buy you some coffee and a donut?”. Yeah, I’d definitely feel better about it then. Fortunately, there’s no need to wait a full year to be offered a donut. Holy donuts have arrived –and coffee is free in the break room every day. So come celebrate the successful completion of another week.
Happy anni… Friday!

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