Most folks are, or aspire to be, good. For proof, check-out any of the myriad social media add-ons claiming to tell you something about yourself. Your spirit animal is likely a dragon, lion or horse, never a weasel, blobfish or pool scum. Why? Because of your courage, loyalty, beauty and charm, of course! Any “negative” trait has a positive spin (say, crazy or fierce). Your name means some virtue and your last name has a glorious ancient origin. If you’re single, you should be dating a hot celebrity or flawless model –I’ve yet to see it predict a pock-faced methmouth. Your eye color says you’re a leader. And of course, you can read garbled text with the top 1%, solve the puzzles reserved for geniuses and share once you do, to prove it! Speaking of sharing, your patriotism, religious fervor and compassion are all fake, unless you share, like and comment. I call it the “guilt trip call-to-action”. Things like… “I know you won’t share”, or “if you’re ashamed of me, I will be ashamed of you”, or “only X% will share”, or “like and share to benefit/prove X”. All in the name of being a good person, when we all know the only way to tell is by the kind of donut you consume. French cruller, you have a positive groove. Jelly filled, you’re deep and see beyond the superficial. Plain glazed, you’re direct. Sprinkles, you have an effervescent personality. Apple fritter, well, yes please!