Friday Donuts

Friends, Leftover season is the perfect time of year to head out to the gym and watch a police drama from an elliptical exercise machine. When you do, you’ll notice the acting is worse than usual without sound. The formulaic camera angles, exaggerated gestures and staged settings feel too fake. Fortunately, there’s a simple solution: make-up your own dialog. Or, if you’re not feeling overly creative, borrow some from Deadpool. Picture the overly enthusiastic crime analyst magically projecting a digitally enhanced surveillance video image of a suspect walking away from his car. His supervisor who always seems to be standing over his shoulder says “Is that a fanny pack? I used to have one of those in nineteen-ninety-never.” To which the analyst replies “Relax, he’s just retrieving something from his utility bag.” The supervisor now gesticulating at the screen says “It's a god-damn fanny pack and you know it, you sick son of a bitch! The difference is night and day.” Just

Friends, If you can judge a show's audience by the commercials, I wonder what the prescription drug ads say about my viewing habits. Speaking of which, here's a script for the drug commercial you didn't know you needed: I was sick ... a lot! If a disease was on the news, no matter how rare, I felt the symptoms. Turns out I had mild to severe hypochondria. Fortunately, there's Pla sí bo. A once daily sugar pill designed to reverse the psychosomatic process associated with illness anxiety so you can say " sí " to a healthy life. In studies, an inexplicably high percentage of people taking Pla sí bo felt better. And it improves your mood. Pla sí bo is not for people suffering from actual diseases. Side effects may include hyperactivity, sugar highs, afternoon crashes, weight gain and cavities. While rare, some patients reported hypoglycemic shock when discontinuing the use of Pla sí bo. Don't take Pla sí bo if you are diabetic, allergic to sugar, or are curre

Friends, What’s the cheapest mood enhancer? I’m glad you asked! For me, going outside and looking up is a surefire endorphin booster. No matter the time or weather conditions, there’s always something uplifting to see. It doesn’t need to be a spectacular super moon rising, although you can see one this evening. Sunrises or sunsets, curious clouds or clear blue skies, precipitation or star observation. There’s something to be said for looking at the horizon and letting your mind wander as you take in the wonders of that ever-changing canvas. Another smile inducer? Donuts. This morning, Krispy Kreme ought to do the trick. Happy Friday!

Friends, Nothing good comes from worrying, especially if that anxiety is over things you can’t control. On Tuesday I stayed clear of the news media’s play-by-play circus and went to bed early. On Wednesday I woke up refreshed to find the rising sun in all its majesty didn’t care what we tiny humans do at the ballot box. Today’s winter storm is more likely to impact my plans than the outcome of any election. I will try to grab a donut ahead of the weather and continue to do my small part to make the world a kinder place. As for Washington, I’m glad to be 1600 miles away from 1600 Pennsylvania Ave., and grateful for an inefficient system of checks and balances designed to move at a glacial pace. Happy Friday!

Friends, In this era of echo chambers, misinformation and conspiracy theories, I thought it might be fun to invent a few “facts” of my own. So, without further ado (and no factual basis to support any of these claims) here are a few plausible headlines I bet I could get folks to believe: The pandemic lowered average global life expectancy by 263 days due to an increase in day-drinking-induced cirrhosis of the liver. Last night, auroras over Roscommon, Ireland (birthplace of Halloween) opened an inter dimensional portal that unleashed apparitions over an 80-mile radius, reaching places as far flung as Cork and Dublin. A new Rice University study of online shopping habits found the use of the terms “rare” and “vintage” in listings significantly drove up prices of otherwise unremarkable merchandise. In a surprise move, Alphabet reached a settlement with Russia to pay 0.00001% of the $20 decillion fine the country imposed on Google’s parent company, to be paid in annual installments over

Friends, Beauty surrounds us. It doesn't have to take the form of a colorful sunset or gorgeous supermodel. From engaging conversations to warm embraces, beauty is always there for the taking. It can be a painting, a song or a building. A touch of silk, a whiff of coffee, a bite of a donut. Even the smallest things can have surprising nuance and beauty. A smile, a blade of grass or even a tiny seashell. All you need is an open mind and a positive attitude. So, as you go through your day, keep an open heart for the beauty all around you. Happy Friday!

Friends, When on vacation, I prefer to avoid big crowds, structured activities and fabricated entertainment. Give me a beautiful mountain, a tranquil beach or a city to get lost in and I’ll have a great time. Perhaps that’s why I’ve never been on a cruise ship. That’s also why I had never stayed at an all-inclusive resort – until now. My first experience? Not great. We arrived at San Andrés Island at 8:30 AM and were quickly whisked away to Decameron Marazul (presumably the weakest link in the resort chain). Once there, the staff proceeded to deny us check-in as well as the bracelets to enjoy the facilities until 3:00 PM, followed by a refusal to exchange our money so we could pay for a cab into town because, get this, we didn’t have a room. I managed to work through the circular logic and got them. The consistently lackluster service by an indifferent staff, the leak in my bedroom ceiling and exclusive use of bottom-shelf liquor… Then there’s the attempt to greenwash their cost-saving

Friends, People are not great at putting large numbers in perspective. Take spicy food. I think most folks would agree with me that a 5,000 Scoville Heat Unit Jalapeño pepper is pretty spicy. Follow it with a Rocoto pepper at 250,000 SCUs and you’ll probably say it’s hotter, but I doubt you’d tell me it takes 50 Jalapeños to get the same burn. Now say, hypothetically, someone received a bottle of Ají Escorpión hot sauce for their birthday last month (names have been omitted to protect the guilty). Say also they were foolish enough to spread some over their meal without reading the label (you’ve tried one hot sauce, you’ve tried them all, right?). Given this particular brand is made with Trinidad Scorpion peppers and clocks in at nearly 1.5 million SCUs, that person might go running for a leftover Salt Donut and then proceed to discard the remainder of that otherwise delicious fried rice. Needless to say, it’s going to take a while to finish that birthday gift. Happy Friday!

Friends, When confronted with a sea of work it's tempting to dip your toe rather than take the plunge into the deep end. The prospect of the monumental swim can be paralyzing. But once you're in, the water is brisk and the dip invigorating. Granted, distractions can make it so your attention and the tasks you're trying to accomplish are two ships passing in the night.You skim the surface and struggle to reach the depths you were meant for. But if you hold your breath and just keep swimming, joy awaits at the shore. Like they say, drain the ocean one teaspoon at a time (okay, maybe they don´t say that, but maybe they should). And with that, it feels appropriate that I head out to the Salty Donut. They recently opened a beachhead in Colorado. I hear good things. Ahoy mateys! Happy Friday! P.S. Peek-a-boo!

Friends, There's nothing like travel serendipity to spark new ideas. The unexpected mile-long line at mile-high airport. The clear choice of a last-minute sign-up for Clear or missing your flight. The rush of rushing to the furthest gate in terminal B. And, finally, boarding at final call for boarding, You settle in 39D (prime restroom seating) and start the free form association... When did safety announcements start including "if a strap appears pull the strap..." sounds like bad advice between teenagers. Why did they need to get so specific? Surely, common sense dictates the oxygen mask will come down if you pull the strap. Probably the same folks who added the "if the bag does not inflate, oxygen is flowing". Common sense, schommon sense... And on it goes. Speaking of travel (or perhaps on account of it), I decided to get a little adventurous and try Mochinut. Kai, our Japanese exchange student this year, informed me that "mochi" means chewy. Delic

Friends, Dehydrated foods are practical. They have a long shelf life, save space and pack the same nutrients. Some you eat as-is, like the “juicy” dried cranberries you see at Costco (BTW, can they truly be both juicy and dried? -- seems to me they want to have it both ways.). Others you reconstitute by adding water. On that note it seems someone beat me to the punch selling dehydrated water — just add water . Although my idea was to make it a clever water bottle. O well. I wonder if there’s a market for dehydrated donuts? Better yet, decaffeinated donuts … just add coffee! Happy Friday!

Friends, Friday the 13th gets a bad rap. They say getting married or beginning a journey on a day like today is ill advised. Sure, you could sit there and blame numerology, superstition and Hollywood for conspiring to mar this good day’s reputation and unjustly give it an unlucky status. I on the other hand see it as an opportunity to embark on a new adventure and grab a baker’s dozen donuts. And if you’re worried 13 may be an unlucky number of pastries, rest assured I’m going to Winchell’s, home of the 14 donut baker’s dozen. Happy Friday! P.S. Here's a lucky angel just to be on the safe side. ;-)

Friends, You know that sense when you drive by an unpretentious donut shop. A hole in the wall with a “Donuts” sign outside. No fancy name or broad selection of goodies. Just donuts and coffee. And if the building it’s in happens to be a repurposed gas station that no longer has pumps, well, you have to turn around and try them. That’s just what I did and let me tell you, the donuts at Donuts on York and 29th were well worth the detour. I realize too often I use donuts as a metaphor or a pun, but sometimes a donut is just a donut. Happy Friday!

Friends, Ever walk by a church and notice a saint precariously perched on a ledge or niche? The calm expression on their face belies no trace of any fear of heights. Seems odd, don’t you think? Seriously! If I were eighty feet above street level, there’s no way you’d see me standing so close to the edge without a railing or handhold. Then again, I’m no saint. And, since being deceased is a prerequisite to canonization, surely they're not suicidal. I must say, though, that the halos on their heads do make me crave a donut. If only Holy Donuts had not gone out of business during covid. I guess I’ll just have to settle for some Dunkin’. Happy Friday!

Friends, The world is always trying to put a smile on your face, if you let it. Examples abound. Take something as serious as Matthew Perry’s overdose death: the spokesperson for the DEA is … wait for it … Anne Milgram. Seriously, how many milligrams? Anne! (It works better in a scottish accent). Or the scientist who ran the InSight mission on Mars. Bruce Banerdt. Hope he wasn't exposed to gamma ray radiation, I'd hate to see him get angry and turn into a green monster. And speaking of monsters, ever notice some trees look like upside down giant cephalopods? Just add an eyeball or two and willow becomes cuthulhu. Who'se a cute tentacled soul-eating deity? And of course donuts are always a surefire way to put a smile on any face. Go get you some! Happy Friday!

Friends, Ironic as it may sound, when anything is possible, nothing can happen until you rule something — or things — out. Unbound potential needs constraints to reach realization. That blank sheet could become a poem, a portrait or a position paper, but it won’t be anything until you channel a direction to take it. You might say the path not taken is just as important to get you where you are going. So, as you go out this morning, remember you can only have that delicious chocolate glazed donut by choosing not to have that cruller, old fashioned and crème filled that looked just as good on the shelf. Or just grab a dozen and put off the choice until you get home. Happy Friday!

Friends, If a business offers a product and no one knows about it, can it still make a profit? While philosophers ponder the question, marketers take action. Going from awareness to consideration to purchase means getting the word out by any viable means. One such mean appears to be utility poles. At least that’s the view shared by homework assistants, laundromats, upholsterers and fiber internet companies. Whether you want to complete your thesis in a month, get your laundry picked up and delivered, have your couch upholstery updated — or just want faster internet, let your feet do the walking and stroll up to the aging pasted ads on a pole near you. And, if the products you want aren’t featured, there’s always Google. Speaking of which, my latest search yielded a place in town called Patrick’s donuts (rated five stars by all 11 reviewers). Wish me luck. Happy Friday!

Friends, Sham elections in Venezuela to perpetuate tyranny. Bogus trials in Russia to collect swappable prisoners. Fake candidates in the U.S., lying to get your vote. If world news feels like a heavy rock coming down on you, remember goodness is so prevalent it’s not newsworthy. It’s all around us, so we take it for granted. You find it in that relative’s warm hug, that friend’s contagious laughter or that colleague's small gesture. That beautiful painting, that spectacular sunset, or that delicious donut. What everyday acts of virtue, kindness and honesty have you witnessed today? Happy Friday!

Friends, Think quick. If I told you I hiked the tallest mountain in the world (as measured from Earth’s center) where would I be? If you said the Himalayas, you’d be wrong! When measured this way, Mt Chimborazo reaches 7,096 ft. higher than Mt. Everest. Trying to catch my breath as I reached 16,650 ft above sea level (some 3,000 ft below the summit), it struck me that while the hike was exhilarating, the up-close pictures weren’t as pretty as those taken from afar. Sometimes, you need a little distance to truly appreciate something. It’s about perspective (forest and trees). It’s also about connection (absence and fondness). As you wrap up your week, grab a donut and consider how proud you’ll be of the work you’re doing today when it’s done. Happy Friday!

Friends, The CrowdStrike EDR (Endpoint Detection and Response) issue that’s disrupting businesses worldwide this morning got me thinking about another EDR: the Employee Dining Rooms at Yellowstone National Park. When I worked at the Lake Lodge back in the ‘90s, we decided the ‘E’ in EDR stood for Ethnic, on account of the cooking staff’s experimental cuisine. Although my colleagues complained, I thought their audacious food was mostly good. Then again, I’m pretty open to wandering beyond the safe realm of donuts and coffee. Lately it seems the common denominator in my dining experiences has been a large form factor. I’m talking big food, ranging from a 36” pizza to a 400 lb pig. With so many BSODs (Blue Screens of Death) shuttering businesses this morning, maybe it’s time for your own BSOD (Blatantly Spectacular Outrageous Diet). Happy Friday!

Friends, Too many arguments, quarrels and misunderstandings happen because we suck at mind reading. Yet we expect others to possess this skill. Divine our mood, guess the gift we want, avoid our hidden landmines… read the room. We go around a colleague’s back telling others about their failings, yet we fail to tell them. Here’s a thought: let’s be direct with each other. No more beating around the bush, walking on eggshells or hidden resentments. Just tell it like it is and be open to learning new things about yourself. And while you’re at it, have a donut and enjoy the ride. Well, at least have a donut… it’s a start. Happy Friday!

 Friends, Happy 5th of July! A day destined to live in the shadow of its predecessor. On a day like today, 248 years ago, I fancy members of the second continental congress, hungover from the declaration after-party, anxious about what comes next. ‘Did we do the right thing?’, ‘Is there irony in having our general share the king’s name?’, ‘Should we make the noble turkey the national bird?’… ‘That last fifth of scotch was a really bad idea!’ I hope this quasi holiday finds you relaxed, enjoying a long weekend. If not, hopefully you have a donut in one hand and coffee in the other as you make ready for your next adventure. Happy Fifth!

Friends, Did you watch the debate last night? Yeah, me neither! The prospect of decrepit vs. deceitful was as appealing as walking barefoot over broken glass. Watching paint dry wasn’t an option (I’m 3,333 miles away from my freshly painted house) so I spent a quiet evening at home pondering random ideas. Thoughts such as the fact cheap steakhouses are booming thanks to cheapskates leaving their houses in search of cheap steaks. Or, throwing a third party for the third party responsible for my text message failures — or perhaps writing them a verse, after all their name is Syniverse. Or how cool it is that donuts only have one surface. If you had the misfortune of watching Statler debate Waldorf last night, I'd love to hear your take on it. If not, I'm proud of you. Happy Friday! Key debate moment. Photo credit: The Jim Henson Company

Friends, Summer has officially arrived, its long warm days a harbor of carefree outdoor activities. And while adulting gets in the way of summer vacation, I will be spending a good chunk of it in Ecuador --albeit working from home. I guess technically that means it's winter for me... however, this close to the equator, we don't get four seasons. This solstice, I was reminded there’s nothing colder than a hot summer day in Houston. Seriously, what’s with the inverse correlation between a locale’s weather and how high they blast the AC? Such blatant overcompensation hints at a special kind of bravado. Wearing my bomber jacket at Houston Intercontinental Airport, I pictured the HVAC team going “You can’t store ice cream at room temperature? Watch me!" Brrr... fortunately there's a Dunkin' in Terminal E so I was able to enjoy my final northern hemisphere donut for a while. Here's hoping you have a fun summer ahead of you and that your plans include a donut (or more

Friends, Time disguises us with old age, Whether or not it makes us sage. Mirrors lie, Strange reflections look us in the eye. Ringing ears, wrinkles, gray, Stiff, tired, small aches here to stay. Could it be? In my mind I’m twenty three. As each instant flows through me, Like a stream I cannot see. Not confined, There is more to us than space and time. In five dimensions I believe, Our whole life is within reach. Always there, Every moment that we’ve shared. And now I know I’ve gone too far, Too long winded, too bizarre... Donut time! Thank you for putting up with my rhyme. Happy Friday!

Friends, National Donut Day feels like a good time to look back. Not on the 20+ years I’ve been writing these notes, mind you, but to a time when I was 11 at my grandfather’s ranch. Flying, tethered to a rope I had attached on a high branch of a eucalyptus tree (before the rope snapped and the ensuing fall broke my friend’s arm). Building a straw lair up against the mountainside (before the adults burned it down to keep away the lovebirds who had “nested” there). Simultaneously peeing and walking up the trail while helping carry fresh water to the adobe abode (before city living, mores and social conventions made me self conscious). Molding little swans from the wax dripping off the candles lighting the dinner table (before the absence of electricity was unthinkable). Collecting rusted bullets and grasshoppers, making whistles from orchid leaves and eating the bead-sized pink fruits growing on the fields. Pretending to fall asleep so my parents would let me sleep over — again. Don’t ge

Friends, A rose bush has flourished between two fence planks, creating a beautiful highlight to an otherwise ordinary segment of the route where I walk my dogs. This rebellious little plant got me thinking about the old maxim: "thrive where you're planted" -- which is terrible advice if your head is literally stuck in a fence. In the figurative sense, we spend so much of our lives putting up with current circumstances instead of making the best of them. Some part of us seems to think life is a rehearsal. We imagine ourselves thriving after we finally go somewhere -- vacation, relocation, event, perfect job... We easily forget that we shape our lives every instant, and we'll have to live with the person we've been nurturing when we get there. If we forget how to take pleasure in the small things, we're screwed. So, do yourself a favor, grab a donut, close your eyes and take a bite. Chase it down with some coffee and let the sweet sensation wash over as you imme

Friends, Ever dream you’re trapped in a maze? Try as you might, your futile efforts bring you no closer to the exit… Yeah, me neither. I do however see too many missed opportunities to create labyrinths. Warehouses, grocery stores, data centers and self-storage units all have real estate that would make amazing mazes, yet with very few exceptions (Ikea) they universally seem to choose utilitarian layouts. Boring! I suppose this void creates a business opportunity for creative entrepreneurs willing to think outside the big box store. Bringing a sense of adventure to your shopping should have the added benefit of increasing the number of impulse purchases. Savvy businesses might strategically locate a donut shop in the center to reward lost shoppers and give them the second wind they so desperately need to power through the rest of their expedition. I can’t think of a better way to spend the three day weekend… actually, I can, but that’s a story for another day. Happy Friday!

Friends, A road trip is like a juicy rotisserie guinea pig. People who try it and don’t enjoy it probably went in thinking they weren’t going to like it. Your brain conspires to fulfill that prophecy cast by your biases and preconceptions. Not me! I find the open road therapeutic. As mile markers melt away, my mind marvels, mixing motion and meaning. My spirit soars across the universe while my body breathes easy, westbound on I-80. Thoughts gently build from a trickle of ideas to a stream of consciousness until they form a roaring river of random associations.  Here's a peek into what I'm talking about. ( JP's inner monologue somewhere near Sugarloaf PA ).  Too bad the weather has prevented me from taking a nice road trip photo for the donut blog. How about that cloud photo you took last week? Feels like a good road trip shot. But wouldn't making folks believe it was taken on this road trip be disingenuous? More like poetic liberty... Or lying... So, what about stock p

Friends, There’s no better way to become self-conscious than by reading your conference call transcripts. Seeing your linguistic crutches on display can be embarrassing. On calls, I repeat words and short phrases multiple times as my brain tries to catch up with my mouth. If repetition is the key to mastery, I arguably sound masterful. Ironically, the faster I speak (perhaps a subconscious attempt to sound smarter), the more I seem to be stuttering (which has the opposite effect). It turns out that no matter how fast words come out of my mouth, the rate of the information I share appears to be constant. This means I really should try to slow down. Take a deep breath, be deliberate, pretend I’m eating a donut and savor each word. Speaking of repetition, check out this photo. Some bureaucrats thought it would be a good idea to put a bunch of bicycle-themed signs on the same pole. I think there's still room for a couple more. You can never have too many bicycle signs... or too much co

Friends, Stop me if you've heard this one before. A man walks into a bar looking for a lawyer. The bartender says "you won't find any here... they need to pass the bar." Speaking of which, my daughter officially passed the bar last week and can now practice law in Colorado. She can also breathe easier, take a break from all that studying and, who knows, perhaps even stop at a bar once in a while. Or... celebrate in style with a Voodoo doughnut. Please join me in congratulating Verónica González, Esq., who will make a fabulous attorney. Happy Friday!

Friends, When I heard the speaker of the house Mike Johnson had suggested the president of Colombia resign, I thought to myself, now that's something we can all agree on. That scoundrel, charlatan and criminal Petro should resign. Then it hit me. Wait... he said Columbia, not Colombia. What a difference a letter makes... darn homophones! It's like when you hear someone say "donut, come near me" but they actually said "do not come near me". One second you're on top of the world and the next you're crashing down looking for a soft spot to land. Speaking of which, I found this comic online and couldn't resist sharing. Happy Friday!

Friends, Picture a large cottonwood tree, its two foot thick trunk sharpened like a pencil by an eager beaver. Imagine all the hours spent gnawing away around the base to fell the timber. The anticipation of a new dam running through the critter’s head. Suddenly a large creaking noise signals the venerable tree’s impending fall… in the wrong direction! All that work for naught. Helpless to change the outcome, the rodent gets out of the way and watches the spectacle. As the dust settles, the hard learned lesson will not soon be forgotten: effort does not guarantee results. So, as you get ready to plunge into the day’s work and finish the week strong, grab a donut and make sure your effort is pushing you in the right direction. Happy Friday!

Friends, Is it just me or have app developers gone overboard with notification badges. You know what I'm talking about... those pervasive red balloons with a number on them that appear on your app icons and are designed to waste your day by trying to make them disappear. Either that or stress you out by telling you there's more to do. It feels like a game of whack a mole. No sooner have you cleared one of these demonic notifications, when another appears. Whether for work or leisure, a semi-OCD person looking for a clean slate could spend hours on their futile quest to have no pending tasks. I'm not kidding. For instance, why does LinkedIn need a notification badge for Messages, Notifications and My Network... and why does Facebook add new notification badges as soon as I've cleared the previous one? It's not like those unseen posts were posted in the past 23 seconds! And don't get me started on work productivity applications (not to throw any app under the bus

  Friends, Watching the sun impersonate a donut is always a worthwhile event —not to mention, I’m a sucker for celestial happenings. Unfortunately, I’m gonna miss it. After briefly toying with the idea of traveling to see Monday’s fast-approaching solar eclipse, I decided against it for rather mundane reasons. The most driveable location is 15 hours away. Flights are packed and therefore expensive. Lodging is similarly impacted by limited supply and high demand. So instead, I curated a brief list of names several locales around the country are using to refer to this year's occurrence.  Eclipsalypse . That’s how Niagarans envision the flood of humanity seeking to document totality over the falls on their instagram feeds.  The clips . From San Antonio to Texarkana, Texans everywhere are making the celestial event sound more like a haircut event.  Monday . Dallas’ weather forecast calls for a cloudy day. Move along little Dallasites, nothing to see here.  Staring contest with the sun

Friends, Word selection influences how we process information. Consider these two sentences: To date, over 30,000 Palestinians have died in Gaza according to the Hamas-run Palestinian health ministry, in response to the Hamas attack that killed 1,200 people in Israel, many of them children, and took 250 men, women and children hostage. Following the Hamas incursion, which according to Israeli authorities killed 1,200 people and took 250 hostages, Israeli soldiers have killed over 30,000 Palestinians in Gaza, many of them women and children. Both stories are factually correct, laying out the same sad facts, statistics and sequence of events, but the language used in each leaves us with a different feeling. We may not notice it, but the carefully curated images and narratives presented to us every day on all manner of subjects help demonize —or normalize— actions and behaviors. What you believe often comes down to how things are framed for you and where your biases lie —biases built up o

Friends, I seldom write about donuts on my Friday donut blog which feels a tad ironic, or at least I think that’s the right word, I’d have to consult with  Alanis Morrisette  to be sure. This week I thought I’d shift gears and remedy that situation.  Donuts are not shaped like nuts —that job falls to the donut hole. Ironically, a variety of objects are named after the humble pastry’s shape. The list includes: Ridiculously small spare tires.  Inflatable hemorrhoid relief cushions.  Tire tracks made by bored teens.  So, one might theoretically bite into a donut while doing donuts seated on a donut in a truck with a donut spare. I hear dumb people are also called donuts in some parts of Southern England… I was considering working them in, but the sheer number of donuts in the ensuing sentence might raise your glucose levels — plus I don’t think any of my readers are in Southern England. So instead I’ll settle for a donut and a cup of joe, and hope I’ve met my quarterly quota of donut refe

Friends, There’s a perfect storm brewing and I’m not talking about the massive amount of snow falling over the Denver area. I’m referring to the mixing of two highly reactive ingredients. On one hand Kate, princess of Wales, absent from the public limelight following her mysterious surgery allegedly posted a clumsily edited photo. On the other “swifties”, whose penchant for following mysterious clues left behind by Ms. Swift has been in need of a new challenge due to a break in Taylor’s schedule. The poor handling of royal communications followed by the ensuing wild speculation by the hoards of bored gen Zers has been fun to watch. Is she horribly disfigured? Is she leaving William? Is she dead? While the truth is probably more mundane (she’s convalescing), conspiracy theories are so much more fun. And, since all one really needs is a fig leaf of plausibility to create one, I’d like to fabricate my own: I believe Catherine had a compliance chip implanted against her will. The chip’s pu

Friends, Is it just me or does Dulles feel taken out of a Star Wars scene? Not so much the people, although you do run into some colorful characters. More so the architecture. Despite being our empire’s capital airport, the vibe is outer rim, not Courascant. The high curved roof. The needlessly excessive metal anchor points. The iconic mobile lounges getting you from terminal to concourse. And of course a name that sounds made-up: ‘So you’re going to Texas?’ ‘Actually, Virginia… it’s Dulles, not Dallas…’ It’s the kind of place that should have an Mos Eisley cantina-themed Voodoo donuts instead of a plain old Dunkin’. Then again, maybe that’s how they keep the “dull” in “Dulles.” Happy Friday!

Friends, The last hours of my first trip to PR (Puerto Rico) are as good a time as any to ponder some insights travel booklets may not give you. In all candor, I haven't read any, so, it's possible you may find some overlap. In any event, here are a few: Folks here use kilometers to measure distance, but speed limits are denominated in miles per hour. How long it takes to get anywhere is anyone's guess and requires some serious math. Then again, drivers are so patient, it always takes longer than you think. Old San Juan’s defensive walls still surround much of the city, serving their original purpose of preventing tourists from reaching the beach. Of course the iconic garitas (sentry boxes) along the wall make for great photo opportunities. Pirates, schmirates. Once you finally make it to the ocean front, before getting into the crisp, clear water, make sure you find yourself a nice posita (shallow beach sheltered from the open sea by rock formations) and have plenty of 10